I read an article on your site recently about a person in love with their Brother-in-law. I've been feeling the same for many years.

Hi my husband constantly puts his family on a pedestal. I lost some close family members when I speak about them he shuts me off or say that he misses his family members too and make it about him. Or he will talk about how much his mother has been through which is not that bad. He will always doubt me and his family will ignore me flat yet phone him to say how they miss me they are so 2faced he never believes me. I honestly am fed up and don't know how to make him realise that I am his wife. I just want to know what can I do to make him love me and consider me before them?

Hi! I’ve been experiencing some issues with my fiancée and his sister. We’ve been together 8 years, lived together for 7. A year and a half ago, his sister moved in. She’s 15 years older than us, so 45 years old. Ever since I’ve known my fiancée, he’s told me nothing but bad things about his sister. She stole all of the inheritance money meant for both of them and left him in foster care when their Mom died. She also threw away all of his belongings. Since she moved in, she has done nothing to be of any help, whatsoever. She refuses to wash her own dishes, or even put them in the sink, leaving them around the house. She’s just very messy, leaves laundry in the washer for days so we’re obligated to deal with it. She does things like asks us if we can have BBQ’s but does nothing to help prepare for it. Doesn’t buy anything, cook, or help clean up the house. I just think it’s in poor taste to ask for something specifically and then do nothing to help. I offered to buy her groceries so she could save up for a place of her own, never heard a thank you-not for anything. She has loud sex with her boyfriend while we’re five feet away. We have one rule here-not to park in the driveway circle. We’ve brought this up to both her and her boyfriend and yet they still continue to do it. She overspends and ends up in the negative with the bank and has no qualms about asking him or his father for money. She never ever pays it back. I could go on and on about the terrible things she’s done and continues to do. Now, whenever I mention her moving out, he sticks up for her saying “I don’t mind that she’s living here.” It seems that only when I mention it, he takes her side. Otherwise he’s allowed to bash her all he wants. I get it, that’s his sister and siblings will fight. The thing is, though, he has insulted my family numerous times and has gotten offended at me spending time with them and not him, which is crazy because I barely see them-I’m always with him. He’s definitely very controlling and I’m pretty sure he’s a narcissist but still, it’s becoming a strain on our relationship. If I hear him defend her one more time, I think I’m going to just up and leave. She’s given him no reason to want to defend her or support her and yet, she gets treated better than I do and I’ve done nothing but be there for him in every way. What do you think I should do? Should I call it quits? After a certain age, I feel that the person you’re planning to marry should be ahead of a sibling whose done nothing but fuck him over numerous times, but that’s just me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I got married 3 months ago. I am 27 and my husband is 32. I have seen that my sister-in-law is a bit weird. When we go out, we share pictures with our families since they never get a chance to accompany us. My husband would send her the pictures of us visiting various places and asks her to show it to his parents, but she never does that. Mind you, she is a 24-year-old girl, not a baby. If the same event happens multiple times, it cannot be considered a mistake right? Also, my husband is not ready to accept her fault. How do I make him realize the damage she is doing by creating a gap between us and his parents? I can clearly see she is trying to create misunderstanding between us. Please tell me how to handle this situation.

I am 31 years old woman with 10 years old relationship with my boyfriend. I have been 100% loyalty with my boyfriend. My physical appearance, personality and career is above average. There had been many decent guys who genuinely wanted to be with me, but I refused them all. The problem is as I am from Asian country, the couple in my country marry around the age of 28, me and my boyfriend has been together for a long time (10 years), so, my family, my relatives and my friends also asked about the marriage plan. But, from 2 years ago till now, whenever I asked about my boyfriend for the future, i mean about the marriage, he always went blank or confused and didn't answer thoroughly, and he never started the conversation about the marriage until i started or our friends asked him. (PS. We are both financially stable). When we hang out or date, we always talk about movies, work, games or funny things. From 2 years ago, I started to think like he doesn't really love me, if he only hang out me for fun and i feel guilty myself for rejecting the decent guys previously. And whenever I told my boyfriend that we need a break, he didn't accept it nor let me go. I am so stressful that my life will slowly age like this and becomes lonely. ( in my country, when you are around 35, no one interests you). And recently, I have got the feelings for the other guy. We have been known each other for months but we are not close. One day, we met at the resturant accidentally and greet each other and dined together that day. We have same likes and had really fun talking while having dinner. (I let my boyfriend know i am having dinner with that acquaintance). Another day we had our dinner together and talked about random things. After a few times we have been hang out , he said he is very happy to be with me and he has been waiting for this moment with me long ago. He said i am very beautiful like an angel and talked about the future unlike my boyfriend. Everytime we hang out, he cares me in details. He did everything sweet gestures that make me smile. Then I also start growing feelings for him. The thing is when he found out that i have boyfriend , he didn't talk to me anymore. At the current moment, 70% of my mind is always thinking about him and want to be with him and want to build a beautiful family with him. But i am also afraid being told me a cheater by the surroundings. Even if i told him that i want to be with him, will he accept me back? So, I don't know what to do. Please suggest me.

My fiancée and I have been together for over 10 years, and we have a child together. We recently went on a family trip with my parents, my siblings, and their kids along with a childhood family friend who lives up the road from us. While on the trip we have group texts to keep in contact with everyone this includes the family friend. After we get back from the trip, I learn my fiancée is still texting the family friend. She insists it's nothing and they are just friends and she is happy she found a guy friend she can talk to that doesn’t want to sleep with her. I tell her about his past and how he behaves along with he will not think of this that way. I tell her I am not comfortable, and I set a boundary of no sexual talk/jokes because she does that very often. Their texting continues and it is very excessive, 100’s and 100’s of text a week. Fast forward a few weeks we go out on a date night, dinner, and drinks. Later that night after picking up our child from my parents I noticed she was texting and smiling in the vehicle while waiting for us. I had a funny feeling, and this led me to check our phone records to see who she’s texting, the bill doesn’t show what she texts just who and the timestamps. Looking at the records I found she was texting while on our date when I wasn’t around such as getting drinks at the bar, restroom and picking up our child. I confront her on this and how it feels as if she’s going behind my back to text him on a night that is suppose to be about us enjoying each other. At this point I tell her I am very hurt and feel betrayed, we agree that moving forward she would ask if she could text him. While she did ask a lot I always said yes. It was for my personal knowledge and ease of mind, I didn’t care what they messaged about either. A few times she would ask and then text the next day without asking again then say it was from last night, as if a roll over minutes type scenario. Fast forward 2 months I am out to dinner with my brothers and they inform me that she had messaged him ‘want to fuck’ and the family friend showed them the message while out at a bar one night. In addition to this I also found out she went to his house late at night to ask for a ride to work the next morning, my vehicle being in the shop we were down to one car to get to and from work and school. When I get home she asks if she could text him and before I answer I ask to see her phone. I start scrolling through the message and sure enough I found the ‘want to fuck’ message. I start getting angry and said you broke my only rule, the trust is ruined, and I am done. While arguing she tries to deflect to our past relationship problems to avoid the current issue. She doesn’t think it’s a big deal since the message was in reference to a meme that states ‘Her: He’s just a friend. Me: Ok then, text him you want to fuck and see what he says’. She didn’t mention in the chat with him that it was a joke until later in the text conversation. I tell her that’s beside the point she broke the only rule I had about no sexual talk/jokes, and I had to hear about it from my family along with that she went up to his house late at night. She said she was out for a walk and while out she was thinking of not wanting getting our child up early to drive her to work and she knew he was working in a nearby area. I tell her she crossed the line and was in the wrong. If she had concerns about the driving arrangements, she should have brought them up to me and we could have worked it out. I even said the joke thing probably wouldn’t have been that bad if she just told me after and said it was a mistake but that never happened. We have been arguing for a while and she thinks going to his house wasn’t a big deal but does acknowledge the joke shouldn’t have been said and that broke my trust. The funny thing is I was about to tell her she didn’t need to keep asking me to text him anymore but after this I cannot trust her. She is admitted that she loves me and would never cheat and throw away ten years, but people cheat all the time after 20 or 30 years. She thinks I should believe what she is saying but she could be saying these things because she thinks it’s what I want to hear and will make this all go away. I told her I needed a break, and she will be staying with a friend for a while, and I will take care of our child. I don’t know if I am overacting or if my thoughts and feelings are justified by all of her actions and words.

I’m 62 and my husband is 57. We’ve been married for nearly 14 years and it’s the second marriage for both of us. We got on well as we had the same sense of humour and shared a lot in common. However recently I broke a leg and badly dislocated my ankle. This came right before my husband went to a very big reunion involving his side of the family (which I was due to attend but couldn’t due to my injury). When we met my husband was not speaking to his two sons or to his only brother (he has no sisters). Since he came back from the reunion he has had very little time or patience for me and I’ve been literally crawling on all fours around our bungalow when I’m unable to use the rollator the hospital lent me. He went back to work the day after the reunion leaving me alone and unable to even make a cup of tea, as I can’t carry it. He always was a little bit impatient, but I find myself being astonished at his behaviour lately. Yesterday he watched me crawl into the garden then promptly got himself only a chair and sat in the only piece of shade. He has said to me I must ask if I want something, but surely he should have some initiative and see some of the things I need. Otherwise it feels like me begging for certain things. What do others think - is it just coincidence that he had the reunions then got a lot worse, or do you feel it probably has nothing to do with that? Thanks.

I am 27 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for four years. We have a great relationship and he treats me great but there are a few things that still bother me. We are at the point where he is talking about moving in together and a possible engagement in the next year. Recently, I have been in touch with someone I grew up with in my neighborhood. We never had a serious relationship but I grew up with him and always had a crush on him. I had a crush on him in grade school, we were somewhat together in high school - I had another serious boyfriend at the time so it didn't work out and then we tried to date in college but we were very immature and were too involved in other social activities to have a serious relationship. Ithink about this guy I grew up with all of the time. We haven't been in touch lately because I feel like that is unfair to my current boyfriend. Breaking up would break both of our hearts and I am not sure if that is the best option or not - I also don't want to have any regrets with not trying things with the guy I grew up with. Looking for advice, please help!

I battle to express my feelings towards my husband. For instance i absolutely hate the fact that he goes to his parents everyday, they live in the flat in the backyard. As soon as I tell him I don't likd it he asks me why not and I'm battling to explain to him why. Please help

There should be nothing more important than creating memories with your family. Positive memories increase the bonds between you and help us through the difficult trials that life can throw in our path. Those of us that can remember childhood fondly, with happy memories to share, tend to be healthier and in better shape mentally and physically. Children who enjoy happy experiences may learn more easily, and have better memories and less stress. Teenagers who continue to enjoy life with the family are much less likely to experience depression. In short, creating positive memories with your family builds resilience in us that helps us succeed more in life. While all this science is astounding, in reality, we want to create memories because it is fun. We want an opportunity to write stories of family life that liven up Christmas meals and birthday celebrations long into the future. Here are some tips and tricks to help you capture those memories with your family. Be grateful for the positives Human beings are predisposed to see the negatives. Our brains are wired for survival, and being happy does not keep you alive in the wilds of our prehistoric past. Although we are no longer at threat from large prey, we tend to find it hard to switch off this threat mechanism. However, to capture happy memories when they are happening, you must make a conscious effort to see the wonderful and the amazing. Consequently, as a parent, you need to do all you can to spot the good in your children. And, children, as you grow up, you need to look for what your parents did give you rather than what they could not. Keep the magic! As we grow up, we lose some of the wonders of creativity. We don’t allow ourselves to be fanciful or to get lost in the make-believe. But as children, we adored it. Therefore, to capture happy memories, you need to embrace play and fun. It is not something you are just doing for the kids either. If you let your imagination rip and abandon yourself to joy, you will find your stress levels reduce immediately. Go on… build that fort in the living room and pretend you are holding off the raging elves from the neighbour’s house. Take up sport Sharing a sporting interest is one of the most remarkable ways to build positive memories. Imagine how many people recount a day on the football terraces or an afternoon at the river fishing with a parent. These are rare moments of a shared passion that can seek to bond you together. It doesn’t have to be a serious hobby… mini-golf was the go-to Sunday afternoon competition in our household. Mum killed it at the windmill! Inside jokes Families all have a joke that only they understand and can start a giggling fit at a single mention. Treasure these shared funnies, as they are a powerful bonding agent. You might even want to think about buying some token that represents this joke, as a reminder of your love for each other. Share your garden If you have a garden, what better way to cement your memories than to work together to build it? Imagine growing your food together, harvesting and then cooking together. It is how people have bonded through time. Capture it all in an image Since we have all had cameras on our phones, we have stopped giving a special place for the photographs of our special moments. The memories live in the cloud but not on our walls or in photograph frames or even albums. Why not capture your family in a professional photoshoot and get images that will continuously jog positive memories? You could always buy yourself a memory book off one of the many online sites but getting a professional to do the work makes it extra special. It takes a village It is a long-forgotten phrase that it takes a village to bring up a child. The bank of memories that can be created could be even bigger with the help of your extended family. While the nucleus of those in our home is so important to use, so should our aunties and uncles, grandparents, cousins and more. Bring them into the story of your lives together and build even stronger memories.

I have been in my current relationship for 3 and a half years, I've been living with him for just over 2 years. I am ready to settle and be married and have kids but he is more interested in going out to the club and getting drunk 3 times a week. In all these years he has not shown me one but of commitment. He has never told me he loves me and if I ask him if he does love me then he says he doesn't know. My question to him is how can you not know after more than 3 years? He also never says stuff like one day when we are married or one day when we have kids. I've never had any indication of commitment from him. I have sacrificed so much for him. I left my job to move in with him and got another job which broke me, I was so passionate about teaching and then I wasn't, so I got another job working 7-5 which made me lose focus on my studies. Then when lockdown came, I lost my job and my partner became super demanding and has started treating me like a kid. There is 8 years between us. His time is limited so I know if I had to end it that I will be find because I am young (23). Anyway I've come back to my old job to do my practicles and I've met someone else. Nothing has happened between us but I feel this spark and connection. And we have the same interests, teaching kids. Any advice would be great, thanks. Basically should I end it or try make it work? I really do or did love my current boyfriend but I feel like I'm falling out of love because he hasn't shown me any commitment. He also never comforts me when I am upset, he always just says toughen up, or deal with it or you'll get over it.

My husband told me that I all I do is put him against his family. My feelings are hurt! Me and my husband own a business so we can't really go out and we also have two toddlers. We used to go around to his family but every time we would go all we would hear is them telling us how boring we are: "You guys never go out", so they eventually stopped inviting us to family parties or little get-togethers. I could see my husband was hurt so I was hurt for him too. A whole year passed and we were excluded from everything. This weekend, all of a sudden, we get invited and I refused to go since they all stopped talking to us or inviting us. I thought to myself, "Then why go now?" Well, my husband decides to tell me I'm the one putting things in his head about his family when it was him always talking bad about them! Now I'm hurt and I don't want to talk to him.