“Getting over betrayal?”
This post was published by a Click user. Please feel free to respond in the comments below. We sometimes edit posts to ensure Click is a safe, respectful place to share stories and questions. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   I'm really struggling to speak to my wife to discuss our children after an affair (on her part). Cutting a very long story short, my wife & I (in my mind) was happy, she was my soul mate and best friend. I told her everything and anything, we spent most of our time together (at work and home) we have 2 amazing children who I love dearly. I have always played a main role in both their up bringing due to me working from home since they were born. Four months ago my wife said out of the blue she wasn't happy and she had feelings for somebody else (one of our friends) she is now living with him and my 2 kids, i'm in the family home which is full of memories and ghosts. I still have regular contact with the kids but no where as much as I would like due to having to start a new job (we closed down our business due to no longer been able to work together) she got really nasty and said a lot of lies which involved me been arrested so she could clear out our home. (i hand on heart did nothing wrong. i have no reason to lie on here as nobody knows me) I don't understand how her personality can change so much - i can only think he is manipulating her (don't get me wrong i would like to 'hurt' him shall we say for what he has done, however i know i will be punished for it - so theres really no point. I just don't understand what I did? Everything was fab before - she was in tears telling me at first, so apologetic but then just turned nasty saying it was my fault she's not been happy for months etc. I did NOT once get asked for a sit down to discuss things, where i/we may have been going wrong etc. It literally went form picture perfect to its over! over night. It's really messing with my head and in all honesty i have silly thoughts all the time, my whole world has ended i just want out! but my 2 amazing kids, i cant leave them - they need me... now more than ever, they are use to seeing me 24/7 i did bath, tea bed - the lot every day. My eldest screams when i drop him off, begging me not to take him there "i dont love mummy" "i want to live with you" it kills me!!! (i'm 99% certain that she won't hurt him, no idea about the new guy though) She's now been nice again (personally i think she's having a mental break down) but she says i can come up and do bath time bed time etc, come for tea - come for xmas (wtf) (all with the new guy there) i'm sorry i just can't deal with it - like i say it was just 4 months ago, it feels so fresh like it was only a week or 2, these 4 moths have flown its scary. Please help me people! How do I get over it? I don't want her back, she's a raving evil nutter - i just want to learn how to get over the betrayal??? I hope i have made sense. Can i forgive her? How do I do it? - more my own sake as well as the kids Thanks in advance One very unhappy lonely dad :( #menhavefeelingstoo
Ask the community | counselling, therapy, parenting apart, breakups
“Is my baby's father interested?”
This post was published by a Click user. Please feel free to respond in the comments below. We sometimes edit posts to ensure Click is a safe, respectful place to share stories and questions. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   I was seeing him when he was still in a relationship. He has since then split from his partner but has a daughter from that relationship. When I told him I was pregnant he told me I had to have the baby (I was planning on another abortion until I found out I was five months). But couldn’t be involved straight away as the split from his partner had affected his daughter and he needed to put her first. This was in April. He carried on seeing me throughout my pregnancy but never asked anything about it. I told him about scans and how it was going etc. I gave birth to my beautiful boy nearly three weeks ago, which I told him when I gave birth. I asked if he wanted to see baby and the response I got was that I should rest since I had a c-section and he’d get to see him when he does. Since then he’s spoken to me normally and occasionally asks how baby is doing but it doesn’t move past that. I also asked about a middle name and what surname to put down on the birth certificate and he said that it was up to me and I should choose. He didn’t seem too keen to give him his surname. Am I wrong to question if he wants to be involved again? I feel like he’s not very interested. Yet wants to see me for sex etc? I’m really confused about what to do in regards to this.
Ask the community | trust, cheating
“I've met someone else”
This post was published by a Click user. Please feel free to respond in the comments below. We sometimes edit posts to ensure Click is a safe, respectful place to share stories and questions. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Hi everyone, I've been with my partner for over 11 years and we have a 4 year old daughter. We've had relationship issues for a long time, lack of physical contact, little/no sex, arguments etc. Just recently i met someone I was doing a favour for. We clicked and exchanged numbers, we've both agreed it's nothing more than friends but i cant help having feelings for her, its made my situation worse with my partner as its now getting to the point where i don't want to go to bed, i don't want to talk to her and although I'm a very physical person the idea of being intimate with her really turns me off. This other woman is a bit older than me but the way she talks to me I feel human again, not just a dad/taxi/handyman etc. I know its wrong to have feeling for someone else especially when they'll never be reciprocated but what do i do? The biggest thing is i can't split up with my current partner as i know she will use our daughter as a weapon, the thought of not seeing my daughter everyday kills me inside but i cant have one without the other. Its a giant mess really. My partner is starting to notice my lack of contact, although i think she's quite happy about my lack of sexual attention towards her. I know I'm an awful person for behaving like this but i just don't know what to do, help please :(
Ask the community | someone else, emotional affair, cheating
“Lying about his financial situation”
This post was published by a Click user. Please feel free to respond in the comments below. We sometimes edit posts to ensure Click is a safe, respectful place to share stories and questions. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   I'm a 23 year old law student working as a paid legal intern, he's a 27 year old businessman. We've met through an online dating site and have been together for a year now. The problem is, I have no love left for him anymore as I'm starting to resent him for lying to me about his financial situation. At the beginning when we started dating, I assumed he had a steady income and financial stability. We talked briefly about his line of work, since it was relatively obscure, and I didn't probe much into the matter about how his business is doing. Four months into the relationship, I noticed changes in his behavior when it came to going/eating out - he suddenly started complaining about how much we were spending weekly, even though it was much less than what we'd spent in the early stages of our relationship, and started talking about the financial hardships he went through to make the point that I should be grateful/appreciative over being taken out for brunch. I was really shocked at this since he never acted like this in the beginning. After I talked to him about this, he admitted he has no yearly income and is living off his savings until his business settlement is cleared (he has no idea when it'll be cleared). He had initially bragged to me about his ample savings account and now he claims he actually only has 1/10th of that! To make matters worse, he has pending child support payments to an ex who he had a child with (I was also not made aware of his out-of-wedlock kid when I met him, I've only recently found out about it by accident when he left an old birthday card addressed to his daughter on the dinner table). I feel so betrayed and angry, I just felt the need to vent. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
Ask the community | cheating, finance
“Boyfriend watching transgender porn”
This post was published by a Click user. Please feel free to respond in the comments below. We sometimes edit posts to ensure Click is a safe, respectful place to share stories and questions. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Me and my partner have been together and lived together for almost 3 years! 6 months into our relationship I come home from work as he left for work and he accidentally left transgender porn on his computer. I confronted him. He denied it and said it must have been a random video that was next lined up. I believed him and left it. Happened again another 4 times over the next year. He denied every one and had an excuse for each.i then found myself anxious and suspicious. I went through his computer and phone one night and found more than enough evidence of his interests. I screenshotted everything. That morning I confronted him. He denied it for a second then admitted to everything. We broke up then 2 weeks later we got back together. As long as he kept his promise to stay away from this kind of porn. As to me it is not natural.? i told him if I see it again we will break up again. I’ve just found more on his laptop and computer. And I’m so scared he might be gay or one day loose interest. I’m disgusted. I have confronted him again. He admitted to it. Although I mentioned why would he do it again if it meant loosing the relationship but he had no answer for me. Please help me.
Ask the community | pornography, rejection
“I am worried about leaving him”
This post was published by a Click user. Please feel free to respond in the comments below. We sometimes edit posts to ensure Click is a safe, respectful place to share stories and questions. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   My fiance and I met about 2.5 years ago, we quickly moved in together - shortly after moving in together I found him cheating several times with several different women, I decided to forgive him because it was still a new relationship and figured he just wasnt invested in the relationship yet. I also found out about drug use and quickly became responsible to take him to doctors appointments and paying for an opiate substitute monthly (which is not cheap). After about 6 months I got pregnant, we moved closer to our jobs once he got his license (had previously been suspended) and we began arguing everyday about any and everything. Fast forward to our son being born - I had been in labor for about 41 hours before it was go time, which at that point my fiance finally decided to join the room and help out, that evening he cursed me for a decision I had made about our sons care in front of nurses and family and leaving the hospital. We eventually went home after being cleared by the doctors and things seemed great again, and while I was overwhelmed by the flood of people in our home, I felt our relationship was finally in a great place. So, we bought a house together in a great, quiet neighborhood and within a month I became miserable, back to arguing every day, he took my name off of our cars purchased together and has his parents (who financed our home) take the house in their name so I would have no rights to it if I decided to leave. I have tried and tried with this relationship and want it to work for the sake of our child but I also don't want to raise our son in a volatile , argumentative environment - and I am now to the point where I feel stuck - I am not allowed to work because the cars are in his name so I cannot leave without his permission and I live too far from anywhere to walk. He has gone as far as going into my email and replying to jobs I have applied to telling them I am no longer interested... I have family about an hour away I could potentially stay with but I would still be stuck with no car or income of my own which worries me because I would be forced to go to court to fight for custody of our son... I just don't know if avoiding court, and completely restarting by staying here is worth my lack of happiness?
Ask the community | cheating, addiction, breakups