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My fiancé's sister

Hi! I’ve been experiencing some issues with my fiancée and his sister. We’ve been together 8 years, lived together for 7. A year and a half ago, his sister moved in. She’s 15 years older than us, so 45 years old. Ever since I’ve known my fiancée, he’s told me nothing but bad things about his sister. She stole all of the inheritance money meant for both of them and left him in foster care when their Mom died. She also threw away all of his belongings.

Since she moved in, she has done nothing to be of any help, whatsoever. She refuses to wash her own dishes, or even put them in the sink, leaving them around the house. She’s just very messy, leaves laundry in the washer for days so we’re obligated to deal with it. She does things like asks us if we can have BBQ’s but does nothing to help prepare for it. Doesn’t buy anything, cook, or help clean up the house. I just think it’s in poor taste to ask for something specifically and then do nothing to help. I offered to buy her groceries so she could save up for a place of her own, never heard a thank you-not for anything. She has loud sex with her boyfriend while we’re five feet away. We have one rule here-not to park in the driveway circle. We’ve brought this up to both her and her boyfriend and yet they still continue to do it. She overspends and ends up in the negative with the bank and has no qualms about asking him or his father for money. She never ever pays it back. I could go on and on about the terrible things she’s done and continues to do.

Now, whenever I mention her moving out, he sticks up for her saying “I don’t mind that she’s living here.” It seems that only when I mention it, he takes her side. Otherwise he’s allowed to bash her all he wants. I get it, that’s his sister and siblings will fight. The thing is, though, he has insulted my family numerous times and has gotten offended at me spending time with them and not him, which is crazy because I barely see them-I’m always with him. He’s definitely very controlling and I’m pretty sure he’s a narcissist but still, it’s becoming a strain on our relationship. If I hear him defend her one more time, I think I’m going to just up and leave. She’s given him no reason to want to defend her or support her and yet, she gets treated better than I do and I’ve done nothing but be there for him in every way.

What do you think I should do? Should I call it quits? After a certain age, I feel that the person you’re planning to marry should be ahead of a sibling whose done nothing but fuck him over numerous times, but that’s just me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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