“Too much, too soon?”
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A few weeks ago I connected with a woman on a dating app, this one is designed to work with your Facebook profile and recommends friends of friends etc with the potential of finding someone more suitable. We’re both in our late 20 but not quite at 30 yet. We are mutual friends with another couple, me knowing the guy through university and her the girl through a previous job.

Long story short the conversation quickly progressed and it was clear we found one another easy to talk to. We exchanged numbers and she was quite forward saying I could then ask her what her plans for the weekend were. We arranged dinner for Saturday but on Saturday morning she asked if I wanted to meet sooner and go for a coffee and progress to dinner. Throughout the week she had kept telling me how much she was looking forward to our date. Our first date essentially ended up being 8 hours together with conversation flowing easily, no awkward silences or thinking what to talk about next.

We then arranged a date for the following week, a dinner on Friday at a nice restaurant and once again on the afternoon of the date she is asking again to meet earlier for a drink in a bar and progress to dinner. Dinner is extremely good and again conversation flowing and it is apparent how similar we are. She invites me home that evening and to spare details that also went very well and we end up spending the Saturday together talking and relaxing with the intention of spending another night together at my house. But a few hours in to being at mine she then asks if she could go home as suddenly everything just got intense for her and she realises she hasn’t spend two nights in a row with a man before.

I then get a message on the Sunday telling me that it all got too much too quickly and she would like to leave things there. It’s been two weeks now and I wasn’t quite ready to finish, in fact for me given how easy it was to be in her company I thought this had the foundations to be something serious and given how much more forward she has been than me, thought it was mutual. I would like to reach out to her again but I am also respecting her boundaries. To me we were a good fit but I can’t quite understand why she didn’t just ask to slow down instead of the reality that is completely stopping things altogether? She hasn’t told me she no longer likes me, just that it was too much for her so I don’t know where exactly that leaves me. I haven’t felt that spark with someone I’ve dated in a long while that I did with her so don’t want it to extinguish.

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