I've been in a relationship for a year. I go through ups and downs with my partner but we work it out. I've been in college for a while now and I started to have a crush on one of my classmates. First I started to find him attractive, then I slowly started to have a crush on him. It didn't last long since I tried to force myself to get over him because he was in a relationship and so was I. For some reason, it kinda worked? But I still found him attractive.
Even though his personality and his kindness matched the kind of guy that I would go out with, It was still hard for me to control my feelings towards him. So I told myself - ''Hey he has a girlfriend, he's never going to be interested in you.'' And I kept on telling myself that for months and months until it finally worked.
Until one day, he confessed to me that he sorta had a crush on me? Well, ever since I knew he had a crush on me, my feelings towards him suddenly came back and I found myself at square one again. It's still hard to get over him since he has helped me through a lot. He's helped me get over my ex that I consider my true love. Not by giving me advice or talking to me about it. It was by me crushing on him, getting to know him even more, and realizing that my ex wasn't worth my time anymore while meanwhile before I met my crush, I still couldn't get over my ex while being with my partner. I don't know why? Maybe because me and my partner rushed into a relationship so quickly?
I'm just having mixed feelings and my crush doesn't know that I like him back since I don't wanna come between in his relationship. So that's why I never confessed my feelings to him when he confessed his feelings to me. So I just keep these feelings to myself and bottle them up. It's also hard for me to see him in class. Also, ever since I knew that he had a crush on me a month later he's been acting distant towards me which low-key hurt me because I also didn't want him to stop talking to me.
I'm also having mixed feelings towards my relationship. It's kinda hard since me and my partner are two different people. Before we met, he was interested in me. I didn't have a crush on him or nothing since I just got out of a relationship with my ex (my first love) and my partner was into me. So I was like "Eh, let's give this a shot.'' and I got to know my partner and I dated him three months after me and my ex broke up. I guess I decided to date him since he was interested in me and I felt really heartbroken after my ex broke up with me?
But months later, I just felt a little uninterested in him since we have different hobbies and I also got more uninterested whenever he would bring up his exes, especially his first one, and he started talking into details about how he cried over his first ex, loved her, etc. Yes, I would talk about it and he would always say that he was over her and that she was in the past and we would get into an argument over it at times and he would bring up my ex into it which made it messier. I guess another reason why I started to have this crush. I honestly haven't had a huge crush like this in such a long time since high school. But there's my rant. Any advice? What I do?