“Is it love or lust?”
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I’ve been married for 2 years, but with my husband for 5 years. We’ve had a tough year with our relationship and I’ve struggled with the lack of commitment given to our relationship by my husband. He has become emotionally and physically unengaged– he promises me nothing has happened to make him be different and says he loves me but he can’t seem to love me like he used to, I’m always giving chances after chance but I seem to get hurt every time with broken promises and lack of effort made to make our relationship work.

So I began to look at myself, thinking maybe it is me, maybe I don’t have the love for myself so I began working on my own confidence/happiness so started with getting myself into fitness, getting my old body back and getting back into something I love. So, 6 months ago I joined a fitness group this has been a life saviour for me, and my attitude towards my life, relationship and my work.

However, in this fitness group I met this guy who has become someone very dear to me as a friend, we began meeting outside of the fitness group for coffee, running, social events with the fitness group and we now speak every day. He speaks to me with such respect, interest, care about a month ago he went away for a few weeks and thought this would be the perfect opportunity to fizzle the friendship out to a certain aspect as the dynamics of our friendship had begun to change, things he had been saying insinuated he may possibly have feelings and I felt myself sharing such feelings, an attraction to him.

This guy was due to go on holiday for 3 weeks, so I felt myself feeling as if I should fizzle out the relationship as I felt terrible I would let myself do this, and I owed my own relationship the respect it deserved after all I chose to marry this man. During the 3 weeks, I resisted all I could to not communicate with this guy, and I couldn’t but it was a lot less than it was previously – and soon the conversations became very bland so to speak, but inside I missed him so very much, but thought this was good it had actually fizzled out and it was more lust rather than anything else.

However, now he is back from holiday and I've seen him in our fitness group, it has flooded back all my thoughts, emotions and conversations have sparked back without a second thought, it is like we gravitate to one another without even meaning too – I’m still trying to resist talking to him and backing off. But my relationship, still seems to have no improvements.

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