Hi I just want to know if I'm thinking right about all this. To cut a long story short, my daughter (16) and husband are totally at odds with each other. I love my daughter to bits but she has always been a handful. Truckloads of attitude, very highly strung, always right etc! She can also be very rude and disrespectful. I also love my husband but he does tend to be a very negative person, struggles to see the good in people / situations , and he also is very sensitive ie. Takes everything very personally. He can also be very antagonistic and quick to anger and tends to drop hints and be sarcastic rather than say straight out what his problem is. He is also quite an anxious person and seems to automatically think the worst all the time and worry unnecessarily. It used to drive me nuts but I've gotten used to it and try and ignore it now if I can. He has many good points which I prefer to concentrate on. However it drives my daughter mad. He is a great provider and is never violent but sometimes I find it hard to get close to him because of the negativity. He also doesn't take a whole lot of interest in the kids or their lives. Seems to notice every bad thing they do but rarely praises. My daughter openly tells him that she hates him and that he is a douche and that she wouldn't care if he was out of her life. Which I think is terrible and it really upsets me when she says this. But what upset me more is his reaction. In my opinion, he acts just as bad, threatening to leave, saying he isn't going to stay in a house where he is hated etc. I've tried to suggest that they talk to each other but that never goes well as neither of them ever admit they are wrong. I think they both are. My daughter is a hormonal, strong minded, determined teenager. As far as my husband is concerned, sometimes I feel like I am dealing with 2 teenagers ! I can see both points of view but whose side do I take here? I feel like the meat in the sandwich ! The constant enmity between them is really getting me down. I don't feel like I should have to choose between them but that is how I feel a lot of the time. Am I thinking right here? So confused and depressed. I just want to have a happy, functional family.

I read a similar post to this tonight so it felt good to see other women are in the same position as me. I just feel like I need advice. I literally have no one to talk about this because, well, we all know how sick and wrong this is. Before I started to have 'feelings' for my brother-in-law he was just my obnoxious brother-in-law. The one with the crazy annoying girlfriend who wanted to wear a white dress to my wedding. My husband and I began dating two years before they did. We went to the same high school for a year and that's when i was close to my brother in law. It was always fun and giggles, just us three. My husband has always been close and over protective of him. After we left high school he started dating this girl and since i didn't see him as much we drifted apart. A year after our graduation my husband proposed and my brother in law was still dating this girl so i thought hey! I'm gunna get to know her and make her feel welcome into the family. That turned pretty ugly so soon. The closer i got to her i noticed her imitating my syle. It didnt bother me at first, i actually felt cool, hey she likes my style! But then her certain comments started tugging at me like oh you only did this because i did it or because i like it. And well that was soo not the case. I ignored it until the day she told she had bought her dress for my wedding. She sent me pictures and oh my god. It looked like a wedding dress. Naturally a bride-zilla would go off and say uhm hello no you dumb bitch its white wtf. But she got defensive said it was beige made a scene with the whole family and my bil hated me for almost 2 years. He wouldn't say hi to me at family events he would ignore me and actually he was just so rude to me all the time. I kinda grew a huge annoyance with them. I couldn't stand to look at them ever because as time kept going they just kept wanting to do everything my husband and i did and they loved to brag more about it on social media. After three years i was finally able to ignore them more easily and he actually had apologized in that time frame so hanging around them was alot easier. She no longer bothered me as much and still til this day doesnt bother me how much she tries to do everything like i do because believe me she does. I didnt hate my brother in law anymore and we got along the normal. Not too much like before but nothing at all compared to hate we kind of both felt. Just until recently we had a family trip.. its 4 brothers young enough for the four of them to hang out, ( my husband is the third of them so yes I'm talking about the younger brother) and the two older wives have became my bestest friends so this is why i cant tell them of all this agony i feel. Anyway, we went to vegas to celebrate my husband and the girlfriends bday. They land only two days apart. It was a three day trip and everything was fine, we drank we laughed we all seemed to get closer as a family. I didn't realize how happy it had made me to be close to my brother in law again until our last day of the trip. We spontaneously decided to go to universal studios and it was so much fun! Until the very end. My husband and my other brother in laws were at customer service trying to get some annual passes something like that and the rest of the girls were tired. I wanted to go to the harry potter shop and look around so i left by myself while they waited. When i was on my way back my brother in law was walking towards me alone and i didnt think too much of it so i asked him if he was going to buy something. He said no, he said he only came to see me. And of course i wasnt taking it seriously i thought he was making fun of me but at the moment he gave me a look he had never given me before so i kinda couldnt speak and just stood there stupid and by the time i arranged what had just happened we were too close to everyone to hear so nothing happened after that. The whole ride home i couldn't stop thinking about it. About why he said that he just wanted to see me. He had seen me all trip. I didn't understand. I wanted to shake it off of my head and i was able to forget for the next few weeks. But after that i kept seeing him and the he looked at me just wasn't the same anymore. Or maybe it was me feeling those things that made me think differently but i cant breathe when he looks at me that way and i always panic and look away. To make things worse, two weeks later we found out he had been having an affair with his girlfriends friend for seven months. And i forgot to mention they were already engaged in that seven month period. The girlfriend of course didn't cancel the wedding and he was forgiven. You would've thought if the idea of him being my brother in law would've grossed me out, this would've just ended it all for me! But nope. Here i am still with these terrible feelings. We've never touched more than a quick hello hug and kiss on the cheek and i crave his warmth so much. He never said anything else but that comment at universal studios again to me and i still miss talking to him. Were never alone anywhere and i always make up possiblities to try and make it possible but it never happens or i chicken out. I wish i didn't felt this way because i know that i could never forgive something like what he did. And my husband is so great. He is so close to his little brother too. But i just cant ever stop thinking if he feels the same way. Just to talk to him. To kiss him and tell him how i feel but i know that if i do ill wreck everything. Specially after what he did. I don't even know for certain if he feels this way or if he doesn't but its his gaze that keeps my hope alive but kills me slowly as well. Every song reminds me of him every love movie and i don't know why. The more i know i cant have him makes me want him even more and it kills me knowing how wrong it is. I want to forget him but hes so close with my husband and the whole family is super close its extremely hard to not think about him. What more could i do?

When I first met my boyfriend seven months ago, I was still in some contact with two guys that I hooked up with, both of which I had to see due to work related obligations. I told him that I had blocked the one guy on everything, and later on he had seen that guy in my snapchat. He knew I was lying, and had confronted me on it. I ended up telling him that I had been receiving snapchats from him, they were meaningless pictures of his dog, and that was it. He didn’t believe me and thought there was still something going on, and I understand why. I was still friends with the second guy I had hooked up with, and he questioned me about him and I told him that he was just my friend and nothing had happened which was obviously a lie. I ended up telling him I had hooked up with him, and then deleted both of them on my social media/snapchat. I ended up telling him later on after he had to dig to find out that the second guy I still had to be in contact with due to work related obligations. He already knew this about the first guy. I lied to him initially about the first guy because I just made a stupid mistake, and once I saw how intense his reactions were to finding this out, I was scared to admit to any of the other lies I had told him in the past. His reactions were warranted because I caused this, but they were explosive and scared me. This still isn’t a good excuse to lie, however that’s how I felt. Now he cannot trust me on anything, and I understand why, and is to the point where he is coming up with the idea, and is firmly believing that I cheated on him when I didn’t. I never did anything remotely close to that, but he thinks I'm lying. We had a big fight recently, and I told him I had ordered chinese at work. He misheard me and thought I said “we” ordered chinese and firmly believes that I ordered chinese with someone else. I showed him proof of the transaction in my bank history, and it was a $10 bill which is about how much one person would spend on chinese. I provided him a record of the phone call I made to order the food, and he is claiming that someone must have taken the leftovers, even though I said I threw them out because I don’t eat leftovers and he knows this. He is ready to end things with me, and I understand why but obviously don’t want this to happen and want to prove to him that he can trust me. An instance that has come up where he need to know something involving another male, I told him about immediately after fully expecting an explosive reaction but he had a great one. I have tried very hard for the past three months to show him that he can trust me, and every and any opportunity I have I give him to prove to him. He can see my location, go through my phone, knows my schedule, I don’t have any forms of social media anymore, he has access to every single thing of mine. I understand why he doesn’t trust me, but I don’t want this relationship to end because I love him more than anything and I want to fix this and show him, and continue to show him, that he can trust me. Any words of advice on building trust and trying to get him to see clearly with this whole chinese food thing? I can explain more in the comments if anybody has questions.

I have been reading a book on controlling partners and there have been clear signs that he is controlling, but even though I am more aware of his behavior, I am having a hard time distinguishing what is controlling and what isn't for the day to day stuff. I will give a few examples of what has happened in the last few weeks: 1- My husband and I want to lose weight and eat healthier. I started to cut up fruit and veggies and I made him a smoothie each day for a week. He has mostly boiled eggs and peeled them. One evening he reminded me that I hadn't made a smoothie for him yet, and I said that I need to show him how to make one. He turned to me and said "oh, I knew that was coming" - implying that I would not be making his smoothies for the long haul. I quickly replied that I was just kidding and got up and made him his lunch for the next day. 2-The other day I was cleaning the house. The last few months I have not been cleaning at all and our house is a disaster. With spring coming, I put in a good 5 hours doing laundry, wiping down the kitchen, dusting and cleaning the entry way. Our entry way was pretty grungy so I decided to wipe down everything including the window blinds. I removed the blinds and took them to the bathroom and quickly cleaned them (about 15 minutes). Later that evening, I was explaining how easy it was to clean the blinds and my husband got frustrated with me and asked me "I don't want to start a fight, but that was the most important thing to clean at this time?" I had to justify that yes it was because of the dust on the blinds, and that it would benefit us later and that I didn't take a long time on them." He dropped the discussion, but I felt criticized. 3- The other night, he asked for a glass of water...well actually he said "you should get up and get me a glass of water." I told him that he could get up, and he looked at me and said (I think jokingly) I could get up as well and get him water. I stood my ground and didn't move, but neither did he...

I need some advice on the situation I'm currently in. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month but talking for about six months. He is really nice and we get on really well. However, ever since this party I saw this other boy (let's call him Jake) who I have known for ages. Jake is kind of famous in our area for being extremely good looking and all-around the perfect boy. We previously talked and Jake is so nice, we almost got together last year but it never happened. Jake is so popular he can get any girl he wants and the fact he chose me makes me feel amazing. I can't stop thinking about him and he's always on my mind. I don't know what to do because Jake is also known as a bit of a player and I know I could get hurt by him. I want to pursue things with Jake but I don't want to break up with my boyfriend. He is lovely and (i know it sounds bad) very convenient at uni - he is friends with all the same people I am and lives close by. I would cause drama in my friendship group if we broke up and I wouldn't want to hurt him like that, it's also so close to Valentine's Day and some parts so I don't want it to be awkward. He has no idea I'm feeling like this about Jake and I don't want to end the amazing thing me and my boyfriend have over Jake (who would hurt me). However, I cant stop thinking about him and how amazing things would be. I could also see myself cheating if the situation arose and I feel so guilty. Should i break up with my boyfriend? if so when? should I wait until after Valentine's Day? Should I try and stop talking to Jake and focus on my boyfriend and give things between us a chance? Or should I follow my heart and tell Jake how I feel? Also what do I do if I break up with my boyfriend and Jake doesn't want me? Why can't I stop flirting with him, am I in love or is it only a crush that I will get over? Any help would be greatly appreciated, thanks so much!!!

So my girl friend broke up with me after 2 years she claimed I was to over protective cuz this shit had happened in the past and I wanted it keep her but I haven’t gotten over her yet so what do I do

I’ve been very overwhelmed and stressed the past few days. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and I believe I do love him and I appreciate him so much and how he cares for me, however we are only young and it’s been getting very intense emotions wise. We are both quite immature, and insecure in ourselves so it makes the relationship we have quite difficult for example if I go out with my friends and some guys will be there, he doesn’t like that, and we will usually get into an argument about it. This has happened quite a few times and I don’t know what to do as I feel as though I might react the same way that he does, so I don’t want to say much, however I don’t think it’s fair because seeing another guy when I’m out with my friend/friends is normal as long as I’m not doing anything with them. And I feel as though he’s put those thoughts in my head making me think that it’s not okay, because deep down I know that he shouldn’t be telling me that I can’t see boys or add boys. It’s just what makes it difficult is that I feel like if it happened to him I might feel the same. However he hadn’t done stuff like that so I don’t know, but I have. If I speak to him about it and say that I think we should be able to see our other genders without getting upset about it he just says he doesn’t want to do that so I feel as though I’m doing something wrong. It’s just hard for me because I want to be able to speak to guys and I feel like We both should, especially because we are only young our love isn’t marriage and it is possible that he will find someone better and I might. Anyway, an argument sparked the other day because I went out with my friend and some guys were there and I added one of them on Snapchat so I could be friends with him, however I didn’t tell my boyfriend and he found out and was so distraught. However I really liked that guy and I don’t know whether I have developed feeling for him, I’ve only seen him twice when I’ve gone out with a friend. I’m just stuck on what to do and I feel like I’m a bad person for liking the company and enjoying it with another guy when my boyfriend is so upset about what I’ve done. I asked my boyfriend if We should take some space apart because of what happened I need to get my head straight and basically decide what I want and I don’t want to be unloyal and stay with him when I could possibly like another guy. But he isn’t agreeing and saying that he should be the one wanting space and he thinks that I will just go off and speak to guys. I’ve been so stressed and upset. I need some advice of someone else, please help.

Hi. I was torn between making it work and personal struggles since I feel like I want to make my relationship work, because it is at a rough patch because of my struggles. Anyway, I’ve been in a relationship now for about 3,5 years. Everything is kind of great BUT. We are both in university, that makes working on our relationship harder. When we are together I love him, I want to cuddle and we have a great connection. We have things to talk about as well since we have similar upbringing. The bedroom department has been a little on the rocks lately, since my new contraceptive method. Nevertheless I feel it is not lacking, because I voiced my feelings, he understood and the total thing has been improving since then. This is the background, now to the actual problem. The situation I am about to describe has happened multiple times, I think around 5 times. When I am living in a different place for a moment or we are apart (by distance) and a new guy approaches me I turn to a complete moron. I talk to him consistently for a couple of days or weeks and I will develop a crush for him. Then, if I haven’t done it in a first place, when I will tell him that I have a boyfriend, the guy usually drifts apart. Nothing physical happens (okay with one guy we kissed and it felt super wrong), but I think I’m emotionally cheating. And at the time I feel so distant from my boyfriend that I am always thinking of leaving him. When the crush guy leaves, I always come back to my mind and realise that I want my boyfriend and it was just a crush. It’s easier if the crush is a new person, very bad if an ex. The last time, actually today, I met with an ex, that I still think is my soulmate, we had such a blast! When I am in this moment, I feel like the "new guy" is so great that I will leave my boyfriend. The boyfriend that has been nothing but good to me. And after that I feel so stupid. Because the other guy may be talking to multiple girls, but I am willing to leave my good longterm relationship. Why am I willing to leave it so quickly? I feel like a rush of emotions and adrenaline and like I don’t even care about my boyfriend. But I do! I really care for him, but I think at some point I will do something that I regret and cannot take back. And this pattern has repeated a couple of times as mentioned.

I met this boy first on social media. He and I belonged to the same college and same classes. I started to notice that we made eye contact very frequently and that he stares at me. One day as I was standing around him one of his friends teased him by calling my name . I heard it clearly. Slowly I realized I have feelings for him. I have also heard that he had break up with his girlfriend. Yesterday I when one of our mutual friend asked him who is his crush he took the name of some another girl Its so complicated.

I’ve been with my partner for 7 years and we have a young child together. I knew there were sexual issues early on, within the first year he just stopped showing me “that” kind of interest. I struggled with it at first. I loved him so much but he just seem to have little interest in me in that department. I brought it up a few times and he said he was consumed with work etc., but would make the effort. Nothing ever really changed. He even rejected me a few times which is devastating so I gave up in the end, just to keep hold of what little self esteem I had left. I’m now 7 years down the line and I feel broken by it. It’s unbelievable what years of abandonment and neglect can do to you. We had a huge row recently where he admitted he has this issue in every relationship he has but followed it up quickly by kinda letting me know he has no plans to address it or do anything about it. I’ve seen other posts on here from women who are in similar relationships but seem to get affection and attention from their partners. I get nothing. He doesn’t notice if I get my hair done, he never tells me I look nice, never cuddles me or kisses me. It’s a very hard way to live. I just know he doesn’t look at me that. I can feel it, Even if I try to accept it and live with it, it creeps up on me. Normally if our friends talk about their sex lives or I see something on tv, I start to feel stressed. It’s not about the sex for me, it’s about feeling desired, wanted and loved. The reason I’m posting on here today is that I’m about to leave. A decision that I’m struggling with as it will, of course, impact our child. Not only does he give me nothing in the way of affection or sexually but he’s picking on me all the time. Accusing me of saying things I’ve not said, saying I’m being horrible about people when I’m not, manipulating me using guilt to get me to spend weekends how he wants to spend them. No one else makes me feel as bad about myself as he does. I’m feeling like DIRT at the moment. I can’t work out what is going on. Is it not enough to deprive me of any romance and the hope of a loving relationship...but to criticise me constantly and imply that my personality isn’t any good on top of that? Currently we are not speaking. He drank too much the other night, became very irritating and difficult to be around (a common issue recently), but instead of admitting it the following day he has done his usual...accuse me of not being nice about people, he even made some stuff up so I’ve asked him not to talk to me. He has been doing this to me for years. In fact, I cannot think of a single time he’s taken any responsibility for anything that isn’t working in our relationship. In fact, knowing he had these sexual issues in all of his other relationships before he has blamed them on me a few times. I think that’s vile. I’m 38 years old. Am I going to agree to live by his terms when he can’t even treat me properly? What isn’t he worried I’ll leave him for someone else? If a woman deprived a man of these things she’d be waiting for him to sleep with someone else. My self esteem is shot to bits. I feel so angry that he’s stomping around currently as if I’ve treated him badly. None of the issues he seems to have with his own perception of my personality are anywhere near as huge as us having no intimate or emotional connection. I tried so hard to stop that part of our relationship from dying but he just didn’t care. What now?

I've been married for 20 years. Last year, my wife told me that she can’t give me what I want — that is, affection, intimacy, saying “I love you,” trying to make me happy, etc. She essentially wants to cohabitate and just raise our children together. She had been a stay-at-home mom our entire marriage. We haven’t slept in the same room for 15 years, even though the first couple years of our relationship we were having sex on a daily basis. Recently, she told me that she married me in part for financial security rather than love, although she gave no hint of that when we married 20 years ago. I thought that we had something very special back then. She has had frequent bouts of depression and attempted suicide a couple times before we met. She’s never had a friend for more than a couple of months, and I’m the only person in her entire life who hasn’t abandoned her (but I feel like she’s abandoning me). Her parents abandoned her, her siblings did, and my family abandoned both of us because they can’t deal with her. She’s extraordinarily beautiful physically and extremely intelligent, but she’s addicted to shopping, she’s vain, she lies, she’s a know it all, and she’s a spendthrift. She also thinks of herself first—she says that, if I love her, then I should expect nothing from her in return. I tell her that if she loves me then she should show it. She responds that she hangs out with me and that should be enough. She tells me that I’m just selfish to want more. She is not willing to go to any kind of counseling. And she tells me that she knows I will never leave her. She knows that I’m afraid of what my leaving would do to her and the children. But I don’t want to stay. My children are afraid to show affection for me because their mom doesn’t. When she leaves, they have fun with me and we wrestle and play and laugh. When she’s there, they ignore me like she does. If I tell her this, she screams at me and tells me that I’m delusional. I don’t want to stay, but I’m afraid that she’ll kill herself if I leave. I’ve watched her bang her head against the wall until she would bleed when she becomes emotional. When I threatened to leave last year during a fight, she banged her head horribly and the held a kitchen knife to her heart. I feel like I can’t leave because she could hurt herself, or she will quickly enter into an unhealthy relationship which will then end badly. My children need their mom, I want her to be healthy and happy, but I am miserable wondering if this is going to be the rest of my life with her — no affection and the cold shoulder. Any suggestions?

Okay, let's start at the beginning. There was a guy – let's name him "Kevin". I have had a crush on Kevin since literally 1st grade (wrote about him in diary etc.). Kevin and I never really interacted much throughout school other than having some classes together. Let's also add in the fact that I was super skinny and had braces and pimples so therefore I was not seen as "popular" or "attractive" in high school. And Kevin was definitely attractive, at least to me, but he was 100% popular. However, Kevin never dated anyone through school (which I always thought was weird). Flash forward a year after high school. I had just broken up with a boyfriend of mine (we were together for three years) and I had a mutual friend of ours reach out to him and ask what he thought about if we went out together. He responded to say he was about to go back to college and didn't want to start anything. Which I get. Whatever. Never really gave much thought to it again, like, “Hey I tried, move on”. During the next year, I got more curves where a woman needs them I guess. I got my braces off, and I learned how to make up pretty decently and I have money to gets clothes I really wanted. So I started dating this guy – we will call him Luke. Luke was a little younger than me, he is super silly, and funny, and he’s pretty good looking. I still struggled getting in a relationship with him for some reason. I took me a long time to fall in love with him even after dating. Luke and I were dating and moved in together for about three months, then one day I was working my second job at the local gas station and Kevin came in to buy beer. I knew it was him but I didn’t really talk to him (I acted like I didn’t know him and just rung him out). Then, two days later I get a phone call from my friend saying Kevin reached out to her to try to get my number. She told him I was seeing someone. I didn’t think much of it until A WHOLE MONTH after when I get a random text message from Kevin asking how I am and if I was free this upcoming weekend. I let him know I was in a relationship (even though he already knew). I was confused with how he even got my number. Come to find out he had his uncle reach out to my mom for it. I was interested, I'm not gonna lie – my long term crush finally sees me and is interested. Middle school me would be screaming. But I'm 21 now, what the hell do I do with this? So, I decided to hang out with him at the park. We fished, we talked, and we laughed for hours. And then we left. No, I never cheated on Luke but I did feel guilty because I hid it. Kevin and I hung out again and we painted. He said he would try anything for me even if it was painting. So we spent hours on the lake painting and listening to music while laughing. He hugged me when we left. He went back to college after that. I kept hearing from his uncle that “Kevin wants to be with you.” “He finally decided he wants to be in a relationship and he chose you.” “He said he sees a future with you…”. But when I ask him what he wants he beats around the bush saying, “I would have to get to know you better” and “I don’t know, I'm a senior in college”. We didn’t talk too much after that. We check in but that’s about it. I'm still currently with Luke but I always think about Kevin and what we could have been in another world. He's back home and still not seeing anyone. Luke and my relationship is currently struggling and I don’t know if its because of me and I'm overreacting… Or if it's just not meant to be.

The relationship I'm in right now has been going for nearly a year. We met through an online community about a year ago (haven't met yet and don't think we will for quite a while with the worldwide situation going on). We hung out through calls and through games but I didn't get to know him fully until last year. As I got to know him, I started to slowly develop feelings for him and from there wanted to be more with him. He's the kind of person with a lot of self-hate for no reason. With games, education or life he beats himself down constantly. He'll slam tables during games and becomes overly toxic to himself on a daily basis. I'll tell him to look at an optimistic-realist outlook and that things will turn out okay, to give it time and that I'll be here. He'll take it for that time until the next month and it goes back to the same limbo. It's hard for him to feel confident and positive about himself. His jealousy gets the best of him when nothing has occurred with anyone. I've had to put my foot down to tell him not to think of people who I consider family in that light. That he's the only one I have eyes for. It's repetitive. It feels like I have to defend myself from him thinking otherwise. It hurts. He's supportive on everything I do and wants me to push forward with my dreams and goals. He listens to everything I want to say and all the nothings too. He wants to spend all the time in the world with me too. It's great but also difficult to say no to him during these times because I'm wanting alone time. To spend time with friends or be able to play a game without him looking at my status to see what I'm up to... I've spoken to him about all of this and it feels like it goes in one ear and out the other... I want to be encouraging and supportive. To be able to cheer him up when he's down and to have him realize his positives and look at the brighter side. I want him to trust me and to feel confident in himself (not because of our relationship) but also trust in our relationship and not mention if we should break up because he thinks I don't have feelings for him anymore... Sometimes it feels like I'm holding his hand and having to guide him like a kid. A friend who I've known for a long time has popped back into my life. I ended up hurting him a few years back because of a crush we had on each other. I wasn't ready for it and called it off and he took the time away from social media as a whole to recollect himself. The final time he did this was when I told him that I'm dating my current boyfriend and he again took time away to recollect himself and I understand that.. Now this friend has come back into our friend group and into our lives. All of us (including boyfriend) plus other friends have been hanging out, making jokes, being on the same platform and all while enjoying our time together. Especially after not seeing him for so long. I've noticed that during these times I see the difference in personality and character between the two... One is more confident and a realist on things but with a positive attitude. I see how much he's matured and how he strives for improvement. I've been beating myself up about this for the past month and it hurts to even know that I'm having these thoughts. It hurts that there's even a thought about this friend while I'm dating my boyfriend and that I'm having feelings for this friend after I broke his heart once. It feels like I'm misunderstanding my feelings and maybe I'm just overly excited that he's back into my life again. I met him during a time where depression was hitting me more than ever and I was self harming. All of a sudden he brought me out of my shell and gave me that push that I needed. He's my best friend. We've always had great laughs together and want the same achievements and goals in life. All of this is confusing to me and I'm unsure of how or what to think. I'm not even sure what to expect or feeling I apologize for the novel of a post. I'm just desperate to know if I'm misinterpreting some emotions or is it something I'm really feeling but don't know how to handle. Hope you guys are having an amazing day. Stay safe and healthy.

My female coworker invited me to a weekly game and movie night. There are a bunch of strangers, girls and guys. They’re all friends and their group is always growing. My boyfriend didn’t like me going. He said it made him uncomfortable and jealous, and why would I put myself in a situation to potentially mingle with single guys? That’s not why I went but I stopped going for his sake. I’ve kept in touch with some of the girls from group because there really nice. The whole point of me going was to make some new friends in a Christian environment. Anyway, they invited me to a birthday party for one of the guys. It would be in public, not at someone’s house. So I figured it should be fine. I talked to my boyfriend that day and didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to end up asking his permission if he didn’t like me going. I get to the party and I realise I miss him. I talk to our host and she says he can come, so I call him up to invite him. He's hurt that I didn’t tell him about me going out because he feels I hid it from him. So the next night, after this all blows up, he goes to the strip club, making sure I know where he’s going. He thinks I went out behind his back out of spite, because I’m “mad” when he goes out with people and doesn’t tell me, which I'm not. It is fine because I trust him. It was completely innocent, and he went out specifically as payback. He TOLD me it was payback. This isn’t even the same thing. If he had gone at random, it would’ve hurt my feelings. But the fact that he did this, to specially hurt me, I feel so hurt. And I can’t even tell him how much it hurts me right now because he’s still hurt because he thinks I’m lying and stuff. I’ve apologised so many times because I realise his hurt feelings. He has major trust issues. But I never hurt someone deliberately out of spite and vengeance. And it hurts that he did that to me.