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I don’t want to leave him but I have a crush

Hey everyone! I’m having doubts lately on how to deal with a situation that’s been stressing me out…

Basically, I’ve known J for almost 2 years now, we’re friends and although there has always been mutual attraction, it was very lowkey until October, we were seeing each other all the time with our friends and that’s when I started noticing he was flirting and reaching out to me in a different way, like wanting to hang out with me without the others or even just focusing entirely on me when there were other people present.

However, at the time he was actually seeing another girl, who by the way I was friends with last year before we drifted apart (luckily there was no drama there), and he obviously avoided to tell me until I found out on my own. I felt quite let down by his behavior, and although I stopped flirting back as soon as I found out about her, things between him and I were still tense all winter and I only really moved on when I met A, the guy I’m actually seeing, in February.

Things went perfectly until a few weeks ago; I hadn’t seen J for a while and then when I saw him again I found out that he was breaking up with the other girl. Now he’s started approaching me again and I thought it wouldn’t affect me at all but the chemistry between us is really strong and although I know he’s not reliable I can’t help but feel drawn to him.

I don’t want to leave A, I already told him that I’m not sure if I can give him a stable relationship and he is cool with that, but at the same time I’m afraid of telling him about J cause I can tell he’s really into me and he doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience in general, so I don’t want to hurt him… he’s probably the best person I’ve ever had by my side soooo I really don’t know what to do, I just have this feeling that I won’t be able to ignore J much longer and I really want to avoid making a mess where I end up hurting myself and the people I care for and ruining friendships and just in general generating drama!!!

I hope someone can understand what I feel and maybe share a little piece of advice… I hate myself for falling into these stupid teenage drama traps

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