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I’m always his last priority

My husband is good to me, overall, but every time he has to deal with his family in our house, things get rough. This condo I bought while I was single on my own and after 2-3 years living together he started to help me with the expenses and mortgage. He allows his family to take decisions or to come uninvited to our house to stay causing most of the times being uncomfortable in my own house.

In the beginning our relationship was really, great until things got serious and I noticed that whenever I mentioned meeting his daughter he always had a way of evading my request, to a point I made him clearly how humiliated that made me felt that he had to hide his daughter from me, back then she was only 10. That happened for years, until he asked me to marry him and I told him how he expected to marry without me even meeting his daughter. We got married, and when the time of looking for a dress model for her dress his request was that her dressed was to be as good as mine, even though I was the bride.

When I had my second child, she was in NICU for 26 days in two different hospitals for a respiratory problem. After I gave birth and while my child was in NICU I was diagnosed with pneumonia and had to stay at the hospital for 3 days. Then we came home and his daughter (who was an adult) wanted to come and visit and stayed. I have to admit she loves her siblings so much, they adore her and so do I, she has become a very good friend of mine, but back then we needed the room she used to sleep in because the children’s room had very serious roof issues and wasn’t habitable back then. My husband knew this, because we’ve talked about it before, but she came and he never said a thing to her and I ended up sleeping in the living room with my newborn, sometimes on the couch with me.

Those days were so bad and unjust with me and my baby, specially because my husband allowed that to happened that as I write this my heart aches. I barely slept, I was uncomfortable, unhappy and treated as if it was fault that I didn’t complain, I still drag this issue in our relationship even though it’s been 4 years, because I needed rest and my child needed somewhere safe to be and he didn’t care, he put his daughter above everyone else.

Recently he had an uncle that passed away and his mom (who is a great person, I have no issues at all with her before this) it’s coming home for the funeral and with her 5 other relatives and she distributed them around the house because as she stated this was “her son’s house” without even asking for my consent for this. Now I’ll have 7 people staying with us without even asking me about this, nor my husband. He replied that because she was having a hard time, that was her way of coping and that he didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings (of course he wasn’t talking about mine). In the past he has always told me that anyone who wishes to stay here I have to ask him because he pays 1/2 the expenses and he has a saying if they stay or not. (I’m certain that applies only to me and my family). I’m so heartbroken today.

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