My wife of five years “hates” my son. Hate probably isn't the accurate description, but she is extremely upset by him. She insists he hates her and the reason their relationship is so bad is because he secretly despises her and wishes she wasn't with me. None of that is true. Except after years of torment and emotional abuse, he now understandably wishes she wasn't around. I am certain that's because she is pretty much awful to him always. By awful, I mean she doesn't like to see him. She is constantly upset if she sees him on his phone, or watching TV. This is regardless of how long he has been doing either. She unilaterally controls his bedtime, TV, and phone. She won't touch his laundry, and gets angry if he leaves it in the washer or dryer. I don't really have a say in parental discipline. I did get his bedtime moved from 9 to 9:30 which I think is too early for a 15-year-old. If he stays up past bedtime even for a few minutes she gets angry and just directs him to "Go to bed!" Oftentimes she'll send him to bed early because she say's it takes too long for him to get into bed. My son does not protest anything, he internalizes a lot of things when he doesn't think something is fair, that does come out in his body language, which drives my wife crazy. We have three children together. My son is 10 years older than our oldest. I have full sole custody of him. His bio mom has abandoned him. My wife wasn't expecting to have him with his since the very beginning of our marriage. I was very naive and thought because my son was awesome, she wouldn't have a problem with him. He is a very good kid. Of course I'm biased, but he gets decent grades, he is never sick, his teachers give him high praises for his demeanor in class, his coaches go out of their way to tell me how great he is to have on the team. He's always just wanted to be good – being in trouble devastates him. My wife treats close family with contempt. That includes me, my son, her mother, brother, and sister. She gets upset if I don't do things exactly how she wants. She often changes her mind about how she wants things, yet she'll be equally mad if you don't do it her way. While being upset with my son for being on his phone, she's constantly on her phone all day off and on. Chatting with her family, friends etc. Its really sad that I let this go on for so long. I just couldn't understand how she could feel that way about my son. But I'm starting to realize how impossible it would be for a young woman to go from being single to married with a 10-year-old. I don't know why but I didn't see how difficult that was at the time. If we had it to do over again, we both agree we should have ended the marriage immediately. I'm at the point now where I am looking at divorce, but I really want to know if there are any cases where something like this was so severe but turned around with therapy, counseling, personal development, and support. I'm willing to do whatever it takes, and she agreed she needed to go to counseling. She admits that she doesn't know why she gets so angry when she sees something like his plate left in the sink. She knows she wouldn't be like that with our children. But she says it's like a "extremely heavy bag is put on her" and she gets very angry. I have pretty severe depression that I am currently being treated by both medicine and therapy (looking into finding a new therapist). I've always had depression, but I do know that she is a major trigger to my depression. When she is angry with my son which is every day, and when she's angry with me, which sporadic good week bad week kind of thing. I try very hard not to show my son that she is completely in the wrong. But it's very difficult and sometimes I have to because he'll be in tears because she just hurt him. She responds with his tears with more anger and saying he's making it up. I'm not unbiased, but I would say it's delusional. I also want to point out, as this is a very one-sided comment, I am not exactly the best husband and father. I don't have a high paying stable job, I own my own business. I am occupied by that business nearly all the time. I am always available but I don't volunteer my availability because I have an endless amount of work to do with my business.

I’ve been with my significant other for over 12 years, we raise his daughter and my kids together as one family, recently I got in an argument with my daughter who’s gonna be 18 next month she left the house and lives with her abusive boyfriend. I don’t want her with him but I can do nothing about it since she denies the allegations to protect him. She recently said that my husband molested her about two times when she was little, to which I don’t understand why not tell me before. I am stuck in the middle to believe anything anymore, I never saw him once be abusive to neither kids and my daughter always called him father, last Xmas she asked him to adopt her so nothing makes sense, I’m an over thinker and I’m about to leave my relationship and stay with no daughter and no spouse cuz I don’t know what to do about it. My husband tells me to make mends with my child cuz I’m her mother but I can’t help it to feel the way I do. My daughter has made up stories in the past but I can’t help it having doubts of everything going on. Is to much to take in at once. Any advice??

Hi, i need some advice. Me and my ex partner have split for a while now and we've recently gone to court as to who gets custody of our daughter, she is one year. The courts found in favor of my ex partner and we had an order put in place as to what days and when I see my daughter. I have looked at the documents that I have been sent and it states that during my time with my daughter, I am allowed to choose how I spend my time with her. However, I have a new partner who I have tried to introduce to you my daughter and they got on really well, and they've only met a few times, but he is great with her, and from what I pick up from her, she seems quite comfortable being around him as she laughs with him, sits with him, plays toys with him etc. We don't live together, but I still feel it's important that they bond with each other as he is also going to be a part of her life as he is a part of mine. However, my daughters dad won't allow me to take my daughter to his house as he feels that she won't be comfortable, which I completely understand, but I need advice on whether it is a good idea, or if I should take it step at time and I just want to know if there is anyone who is in a similar situation and could offer me any help on how to deal with this situation.

I recently noticed a little change in my partner after a while his son went to visit his mom, he has been cold and definitely he misses his son but I feel it is getting to h too much because it's affecting our relationship. I spoke to him about it but he didn't notice any changes. I am scared of losing him what do I do

For the past 12 months I have looked after my partner 100% as well as his kids. I do it all! He has paid for a few holidays for me, bought me some clothes and then tells me "well my ex gf paid for her own trips" I said yes, but she also hated your kids... He has told me plenty of times a nanny would be cheaper. He says I am still not enough in this relationship as he expects me to dedicate 100% of my time and I'm not allow to start my own business as it means I am working outside this family... He says that his income comes in and he is either working to pay for this family OR spending time with me and the kids... He thinks that the 5 schools days they are not home I am not allowed to spend on my business. He also says the fact I am broke is my own problem... I have now (i dont know why I didn't check this earlier) found out that nannies doing my work in this area WITHOUT cooking and cleaning for the man get $400+ board+food .... It works out that he has given me $200 per week and put me down for being broke and that he pays for me for everything. So I told him today I want the money per week as a nanny and he said I am being ridiculous, that I am his girlfriend and should ask for money. So I just sent him the following and I am waiting for his reply. Am I wrong? 1. “all of me, all of you” - Provide me €300 per week I will continue as I have been and provide €20,000 in a bank account in case we break up. My hours extra outside current home duties will be discussed and what my time spent on can be agreed on so you feel “connected”. If we become engaged and another contract is agree then that €20,000 goes back to joint account. If I start making an income in the outside work we agree on then the €300 stops. And we can discuss the amount of my income I put back into the family. If we have a child this amount becomes a new discussion. 2. Provide me with €400pw and I continue doing exactly as I have. I currently dedicate 4 days to this family and my extra days can be doing what I want without judgment from you. 3. We sort out my financial independence of €9000 based on the time I have already dedicated into this family, I will move out and my future financial situation is my own issue. Then we can the start dating and we can meet for dinners when you don't have the kids, and I will physically pay my half of holidays with my own money. I can come and hang out with the kids and sometimes spend the night, and as your girlfriend I can help you out with the kids for pickups and if you travel. I will be there for the kids in the same loving way except we don't need to be worried about who thinks they do more. At that stage any help we provide each other will be fair and done out of love. 4. I can leave now, we can clear this up with €9000 for my time into this family that I dedicated. If you choose this I will walk away and make no dramas and we just end things nicely.

Hi guys, I really need your help here please as I am going desparated now. I met this guy four months ago when I was traveling to LA for my vacation. Quickly we clicked and bond together. We really enjoyed our every single moment there so we decided to keep contact and talk everyday when I came back to FL.We’re really open and transparent about our private life. I’ve never married or had a kid so everything is pretty simple from my side. He is actually still married, he and his wife submitted the divorce file and waiting for court hearing. They have 8 year old son and he’s mainly custody of the kid as his wife is flight attendant and unable to take care of the kid full time. So weeks ago he decided to bring his son with him to visit me. When his wife found out, she went crazy, they had fight, yelled to each other and she did everything to ruin his trip, acted like a bitch (as he said). Previously she was the one to control everything in their married life and he and his son have to do whatever she wants. Now since he’s with me, she may think that things are out of her control and therefore extremely upset about that. She tried everything to catch thie attention, including putting herself in trouble (like sleeping pill overdose) and my boyfriend had to be there take care of her. Eventually my boyfriend still visited me 2 days ago and they are staying with me for 2 weeks. His son is pretty a good boy but his head is packed with all the bad things from his mother about me so he’s cold to me and dislike me. And my boyfriend is too soft to his every single request, with no rule for kids and I have feeling that he’s spoiling the kid a little too much. Whatever his son asks, he follows and I haven’t seen him say no to his son during 3 days here. He came here to visit me but we hardly hold hand, hug because his son sticks around him all the time and barely talk to me though I’ve been trying to be nice. He slept with his son as well and only came to my bed at 2 or 3am and then back to his son at 6am before he woke up. I feel like I am the person who is left out in my own house, everytime his son openly talk to me, his mom called and later on, he dislike me again. I don’t really have experience with kid or dating a guy with kid so I am pretty lost here. I even feel a bit insecured because of my boyfriend’s enabling characteristic and the fact that his wife is having trouble with her boyfriend. I don’t know if it’s just my feeling or it’s common to all others who date a guy with kid. How could I do to get rid of this kind of feeling or what should I do to make this situation better, to make his son like me a bit more? Or will I have to run around and deal with his crazy wife if I still want to be with him in the future? I really appreciate your advices please

I'm in a 15-month relationship. We have lived together for the last year. We were both married for 20 yrs, and have been divorced for last 4 years. Our problem stems from his 20 year old son. He comes over every day, yes every day as soon as he gets off work and leaves about bed time. After an argument with him regarding the way he treats his father (which my boyfriend denies he treats him poorly and I was out of bounds for saying anything) he tells his dad he will not come see him again as long as he is dating me. Which of course goes right back to my earlier belief, part of which stems from him being a spoiled only child. I had to apologise to him to keep the peace. I love my boyfriend beyond belief but I want to be in a relationship with him and not have to take a back seat to his 20 year old son. Do I stay or walk away?

Hi, I have 3 kids 19,15 and 14...and living in now with my Boyfriend which have 2 kids but doesnt live with us. We constantly fighting about my kids especially my 15 yrs old daughter and my 14 yrs old. Yes I admit my kids are not perfect they do stupid stuff like other teenagers do, Im not taking their sides or anything but my boyfriend have a lot of rules in his house, and my kids are new to that. We've been together for 6months and everyone still adjusting including me, I dont mind his rules his putting to my kids I understand hes concern and care about my kids future, but sometimes i think its a little too much. Recently we had a fight and he told me this relationship is not going to work anymore, he even said maybe if its just 2 of us everything will be easy, he said he loves me but he cant continue living like this with my kids. I dont know what Im going to do. I love him so much and will do anything for him.

I don’t know if we should continue our relationship. We have been dating each other for a couple of months and are very much in love and have communicated to each other that we both feel very compatible and have a great connection with no issues with each other. We also feel that we are a perfect match. The only hang-up is that our careers and life situations and paths don’t quit line up and is complicated. He is still uncertain with his career plans, and is currently in the military and trying to figure out if he wants to stay or not or pursue another career. I have been very supportive. Due to the current custody situation with my son, I can’t move out of the city with my son and we both feel that stability is important for a child, which I have been giving him as a single mom. I am 39 and he is 33, and we both want a family with kids, but the longer I wait, my chances decrease. We are both seeking a serious relationship, but cannot get over the hurdle of trying to figure out and see a clear future with each other in order to move forward. We have discussed this and he says that he’s holding back from truly loving me completely because of this.

I never thought I post anything like this on the Internet but am lost I have a girlfriend been together 4 years she has a 6 years old boy and 2 years ago we had a beautiful little girl together my absolutely world and more! the problem is there's a few problems starting with her son I do everything for both of the kids she she thinks her son could have Behaviour problems he's horrible the way he speaks to me in front of his mam at times he can't do wrong in his mams eyes when I try speaking to him his mam always has a go at me so I am at the point where am like what's the point? I don't know if it's because he has not got a dad around sadly he committed suicide when he was 2 years old I do have depression my self where It has got bad in the past where I did try suicide this is before I got with my partner she knows about this few months ago I started feeling bad quite down bad thoughts am scared to say anything to my partner because she compares me to her sons dad if I ever say anything I have gotten help from my doctor am doing great now I work full time and no matter how hard I try she does complain to me about stupid stuff she says to me she does not see us being together much longer I try my best I don't know what to do I moved from my family to live closer for my daughter and its not a nice place to live my surroundings make me feel down because its not nice place it feels like am falling apart I tried speaking to her loads am scared incase we breake up not seeing my beautiful little girl every day will be heartbreaking

Me and my daughter have moved in with my boyfriend. Me my boyfriend are great .but my daughter is making my life very awkward and hasn't been nice for last year we have been here .getting to point now no one wants speak to her feel like punished me for started new life. She very jealous and has alot issues .she not nice love with don't know what to do anymore boyfriend had enough of her

My husband is good to me, overall, but every time he has to deal with his family in our house, things get rough. This condo I bought while I was single on my own and after 2-3 years living together he started to help me with the expenses and mortgage. He allows his family to take decisions or to come uninvited to our house to stay causing most of the times being uncomfortable in my own house. In the beginning our relationship was really, great until things got serious and I noticed that whenever I mentioned meeting his daughter he always had a way of evading my request, to a point I made him clearly how humiliated that made me felt that he had to hide his daughter from me, back then she was only 10. That happened for years, until he asked me to marry him and I told him how he expected to marry without me even meeting his daughter. We got married, and when the time of looking for a dress model for her dress his request was that her dressed was to be as good as mine, even though I was the bride. When I had my second child, she was in NICU for 26 days in two different hospitals for a respiratory problem. After I gave birth and while my child was in NICU I was diagnosed with pneumonia and had to stay at the hospital for 3 days. Then we came home and his daughter (who was an adult) wanted to come and visit and stayed. I have to admit she loves her siblings so much, they adore her and so do I, she has become a very good friend of mine, but back then we needed the room she used to sleep in because the children’s room had very serious roof issues and wasn’t habitable back then. My husband knew this, because we’ve talked about it before, but she came and he never said a thing to her and I ended up sleeping in the living room with my newborn, sometimes on the couch with me. Those days were so bad and unjust with me and my baby, specially because my husband allowed that to happened that as I write this my heart aches. I barely slept, I was uncomfortable, unhappy and treated as if it was fault that I didn’t complain, I still drag this issue in our relationship even though it’s been 4 years, because I needed rest and my child needed somewhere safe to be and he didn’t care, he put his daughter above everyone else. Recently he had an uncle that passed away and his mom (who is a great person, I have no issues at all with her before this) it’s coming home for the funeral and with her 5 other relatives and she distributed them around the house because as she stated this was “her son’s house” without even asking for my consent for this. Now I’ll have 7 people staying with us without even asking me about this, nor my husband. He replied that because she was having a hard time, that was her way of coping and that he didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings (of course he wasn’t talking about mine). In the past he has always told me that anyone who wishes to stay here I have to ask him because he pays 1/2 the expenses and he has a saying if they stay or not. (I’m certain that applies only to me and my family). I’m so heartbroken today.