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Sex tips for more intimacy

When you’re no longer in the first throes of romance, it’s normal for sex to fall off your list of priorities. You’d be exhausted if you tried to maintain the levels of the early days!

But if sex disappears too far off the radar, you might need to spend some time rebuilding intimacy with your partner. Check out the tips below for some good ideas that could help you get that spark back.

Get nostalgic

Talk about when you first got together and share memories of the early days. Recapture some of that spark by recreating fond moments. Visit an old haunt, get dressed up for dinner, or just set the alarm 20 minutes early so you can have a cuddle before work.

Get competitive

A pillow fight or even a heated game of Scrabble is not only fun, but can make your relationship feel more exciting.

Do something daring

Anything from watching a scary movie to skinny dipping on holiday can get your adrenaline flowing. A shared feeling of vulnerability can help bring you closer.


As the years pass, some couples feel more like friends than partners. Try to be bolder in your displays of affection and let your partner know you still find them attractive – flirting reminds you of the sexual connection you share.

Talk more

The more you have open conversations, the more comfortable you’ll both be raising issues around sex. The closer you feel to each other, the more intimate you will be.

Make nice gestures

Compliments, buying their favourite food at the supermarket, or texting during the day to tell them you’re thinking of them can all help remind your partner of the affection between you.

Don’t make it all about sex

Not all moments of intimacy and affection have to lead to sex. If your partner only associates affection from you as an attempt to have sex, then intimacy can break down.

Think about your surroundings

A messy bedroom, harsh lighting or dirty bed linen won’t help get you in the mood. Have a tidy up and do your best to create a romantic atmosphere you can both relax in. A few candles and a home-cooked meal might help.


Oxytocin, a chemical in our bodies responsible for bonding in relationships, increases when you touch someone. It’s thanks to oxytocin that something as simple as holding hands or giving your partner a peck on the cheek can help build intimacy.

Have realistic expectations

Nobody has a Hollywood relationship. While it may look like all your friends are enjoying fulfilling sex lives, no one ever knows what goes on behind closed doors. Analysing other relationships will only set you up for disappointment - instead, try to focus on what your partner does do for you, not what they don’t.

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