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“Is my husband gay?”

I've been with my husband for 12 years since we were 18 and 20. About 6 months ago whilst pregnant I accidentally found some internet history that showed my husband was viewing gay porn. I found it on 2 occasions on 2 separate devices. I immediately freaked out thinking our whole life was a lie and he was actually gay using me as a cover or whatever. I confronted him and he said he was embarrassed and assured me he wasn't gay and loved me etc. I forgot about it until recently I stumbled across it again.

I'm started to question our relationship and now feel super anxious about it and worried he will later decide he doesn't want to be with me and I'll be a single mum with 2 kids. I've spoken to him about how I feel and he again reassures me he is not gay and loves me and wants to grow old with me etc. I just can't shake the thoughts. It's constantly on my mind and started to affect the relationship and my parenting as I feel constantly distracted. I've had postnatal depression before so not sure if this could be playing a part too in my anxiety or am I right to feel anxious about this. Apart from this he's a loving husband and father who I can't fault otherwise. Please help!

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