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Not happy but I have to stay

I've been with my boyfriend pretty much every since I was 15. I'm 21 now, almost 22. We've been through a lot, I know everybody says that but he's the only person that hasn't left me either from dying or just drifting apart. He's the only person I have left... but I'm not happy with the way our relationship is, or even him as a person. I haven't been for awhile but I've had to stay bc of our situation. He's bipolar so it's kind of been a rollercoaster that I've been wanting off of for 3 years. I was kinda hating life until,(let's call him) Jim. Jim is everything I want in someone.. should I even go on about all the things I love about him when it's unrealistic I'll ever actually get something like that? He's been open about the way he feels but I've been hiding the way I actually feel for obvious reasons. I think about him all the freaking time though, he's inside my head. I should mention that Jim and I weren't friends for very long before he realized he didn't want to be just friends, but we are still just friends.

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