My boyfriend was talking inappropriate stuff with his girl bf who he kissed long back before we met and discussed about marriage also which didn't happen. After dating me also they both continued talking inappropriate stuff, when I got to know this I asked him to stop he stop talking to her now, and we are planning to marry. Recently I got to know that before when they were talking to each other my bf despite of being in relationship with me asked her for a meet up in a resort before attending their common friend's marriage but apparently the meet up didn't happen. Now should I forgive him or not?

Detected from my wife's texts that she was having an affair with her boss, starting from 2014 – 2017. She promised me to end the affair and blocked him and I believed her. All these years I didn't have any thoughts on their affair as I took her by her word and was living happily, understanding it to be a mistake on her part. Anyone can have a fling. Last month I bought her a phone on our anniversary. Out of curiosity I dialled up her affair partner's name and it showed a female name. Being asked, she told me that seeing the name I may get irritated hence she saved by another lady’s name. It was difficult to digest as the truth. Being suspicious, I asked her to give her the full truth again, suspecting it to be a lie. Then she tells me that she is just having a friendly relationship only. I was not convinced hence again asked her repeatedly but she told me it's an emotional affair only. She was lonely, unappreciated by her in-laws and her in-laws heckled her verbally off and on. She also did have the affair to rise in corporate ladder. On further persistent questioning she confessed of minimal physical contact with her boss and supposedly it was his endeavour mainly. She told me they kissed and he fondled her sometimes, only in his car and did all these physical acts more so when simultaneously driving the car himself, but didn't allow her to touch his genitals at any point of time, and she didn't in any way engage in oral sex during entire affair period and that's the full story. I couldn't believe that at all. Further information was not given by her. According to me if you have an emotional affair it's sure to end in physical intimacy. For a few days thereafter, I saw that she was quite morose as her ex-boss had abused her over the phone recently. She has been called some names by her ex-boss hence she stopped contacting him further and blocked him. As of this I called her ex-boss and we met at a restaurant. He was only trying to show that he was not responsible for her current state of mind and they were very good friends only. In between at the restaurant I went over to collect our ordered food and hence they were then alone and talking. As I kept my recorder on I found out that it started in 2011. He was threatening to reveal all. She told him that I didn't tell my spouse that actually I started the affair with you from 2011. On this note I asked her again to tell me the truth but she blocks me out by telling nothing more is there to know. Now I know my wife had lied about duration of affair too. I am deeply scarred mentally. 7 years were taken up from my life when I was thinking that me and my wife were hardworking to run the family and we complemented each other. At any point of time she didn't try to comfort me, understand me and tell me the truth. I'm frustrated, how can I take her above confession and further progress in our life henceforth? Please guide me if you can thanks for your time.

Recently I found out my wife has been in quite inappropriate conversation with another man, i seen their chat pop up while using her laptop and the content of one message was out of order so i clicked to read further into this. It had been going on 3 months or so and very sexual chats and even some non revealing but teasing photos had been sent. He was leading most of it but recently she seemed to be enjoying it more and playing along (she sent the photos) he kept asking for more revealing photos and she was teasing along. It took me a while but i eventually confronted her about my disgust and i tried to be reasonable and understanding and asked was something missing from our relationship. I had on many occasions felt we were missing something and a few times asked her and she kept saying all was fine. After talking to her about this she admitted she is a bit bored and the younger man made her feel good and it was flattering, she agreed it was inappropriate and promised me it would stop. A few weeks passed and all seemed great but i walked in one day of her taking a close up of her cleavage lying in bed. She quickly passed it off and denied it. She has moved all messaging to snapchat so no history is available and she guards her phone closely which was never really a thing before. I feel its still happening but don't know how to confront her again in case i come across as possessive and controlling as I'm sure she will accuse me of this. We have always been a very open and trusting couple and this leaves me heartbroken and i feel I've lost trust in her since this but I don't want to be watching over my shoulder the whole time. I feel betrayed even though by the messages nothing has happened physically ( well at least not up to a few weeks ago) but i really tried to be understating to make things work and feel she played along and made me feel she would stop to save any further conversation as she has never been into having relationship chats. Is the snapchatting her workaround so I don't find out or am i being paranoid. Her job leaves her open to late nights away and he lives near her job and although I don't thinks anything has happened I'm fearful it can easily under the circumstances as its normal for her job to have her in late and different times each night. I think if it is still going on i will lose all trust and not want to be with her but we have kids and i adore them and i would lost without them. Any advice welcome and thanks in advance.

So recently my bf and i have had some problems. One night we where with our friends and he got drunk and said he thought about having sex with his “girl best friend”. This hurt me so much, I left and went to sleep, the next morning I had brought it up and he said it was a joke and it didn’t mean anything. But that night before I went to sleep, I snooped through his phone. I’m not one to typically do this vecuase it’s a huge invasion of privacy. However I’ve had some gut feeling telling me something wasn’t right. I looked through his texts with her and found some things that broke me. She had messaged him explaining how she wanted to be with him, and he told her I was his girl on the side.

Wife met a man 6 times, would meet him at the parking lot of the gym he went to, I saw where that exchanged nude photos on Snapchat, she claims they only made out, never did anything else physical, even though it's been over a year ago and we have worked every thing out, I still find it hard to believe, she said she was willing and tried but he never would do anything, I've assured her that at this point I'm over it and it's not gonna change anything she still swears that only kissing ever happened, been married 18 yrs only time anything like this has ever happened but it's so hard to believe that a man with the opportunity wouldn't do something, thoughts?

My wife is texting a co-worker who just got divorced after 24 years of marriage. They have been texting behind my back, talking long hours on the phone. He gave her a new phone after her phone broke. I kept my mouth shut after I found out that they are getting to close to each other, but one day after I refused having sex with her, told her I feel insecure, and she better explain to me what is going on. She said she will stop talking to him and texting him, but that was not my point. My point was whether I should trust her or not anymore. I know it sounds stupid but I'm the kind of person who never trusts after they have been fooled once! I asked her, "What have you been guys been talking about?" and her answer was "We talk about stupid stuff." I said, "If me and you talk about stupid stuff for more than 20 minutes, you will be bored and want to do something fun instead." I decided to leave her which I did for a couple months now, and never come back until she or he shows me what was the content of the text messages. Otherwise, there is no way I go back with her. Trust is not a game. She arranged a phone conference with me and the guy. He said that he does not keep his text messages and only the president of the United states can restore them and there was nothing going on between him and my wife anyway!!! Now we are on a divorce process and she seems not worried at all. She just put the blame on me.

My gf and I broke up in Aug 2019. We had a big argument over the phone and we both decided to just break up. This happened while my gf was on a business trip with a male co-worker, who she and I knew was a total fuckboy (co-worker went to the same university as us). So long story short, I’ve always told my gf to watch out for this co-worker. She would always reassure me that she’s always careful and that she wont let anything happen Anyway, less than a day after the breakup, my gf gave her co-worker head and started a month-long fling with him. They would make out in their office after everyone else had left and they would go on dates together. It went on for a few weeks until my gf found out that the co-worker had a gf he didn't tell her about. My gf started distancing herself from her co-worker and we eventually fixed things and got back together. I asked her if she hooked up or did anything while we were apart. She said no and we moved on. Our relationship actually got better after the breakup. Fast forward to Aug 2020, the co-worker’s ex messaged me out of the blue and told me about everything. I didn't believe her at first but I confronted my gf about it. My gf only confessed to kissing ONE TIME but I managed to get the WHOLE truth out of her. She even confessed to messaging the co-worker to not tell me anything because she was “desperate” to hide the truth in fear that I would break up with her. I am obviously hurt by what she did immediately after our breakup, and the fact that she lied and hid this from me for a year. She claims she was only really lonely and lost at the time when she initiated giving head to her co-worker. She told me she just liked the attention he gave and that she wanted to do something rebellious out of anger over the breakup. My gf also reassures me that we got back together not only because of the revelation that the co-worker had a gf (she says this only opened her eyes that what she was doing was wrong), but because she had always loved me and wanted to fix things right from the very beginning. I broke up with her after I found out. She bawled her eyes out and was literally at my feet begging me not to leave her. A few days passed and I forgave her and decided to take her back. She swears she would never lie again and that our relationship would come out stronger after this. Should I believe her and stay in our relationship?

I'd like to start off by adding context to what I’m asking. I have been talking to someone on and off for two years. Really we talk everyday. Our bond is very strong – we met two years ago when I was a dancer at a strip club and throughout our whole time while I worked there our trust was very weak. You never trusted me and especially when he went through my phone and found out that I’ve been cheating on him. I can tell you why I did that. This man is the most caring amazing person and I felt I didn’t deserve him that I didn’t have a definite place in his life. I cheated because I was lost, weak, and wasn’t putting value in myself. I told him that and it’s been eight months since I came clean about my infidelity, I’ve apologized and changed my actions, quit my job, and I no longer have any contact anybody from that career. I’ve tried to do all I can and still one problem is persistent in our relationship. He has doubt and ALWAYS thinks I’m hiding something. Even when I’m not. I’ve come clean and haven’t been with or had feeling or even chatted with anyone else. He’s really all I want and I’m desperate to make changes in his trust towards me. But there still be times when he has doubts and he will tell me that he wishes I would just come clean, “just tell him what I think he needs to know” but I have nothing. I haven’t done anything to be unfaithful or that I need to come clean about and I understand I’m the one who has given him the insecurities and doubt in the first place. The only thing that I have heard from him is that I lied I found a baggage claim with somebody’s name on it. It was the same girl when I went through his phone last year he had cheated on me with. He never admitted it and I confronted him. He told me it was just a kiss and he drove her home but I had seen the messages and I am too anxious to come clean to him about it. I’m worried he’ll think I’m hiding more and really I’ve just been hiding that for over a year I’ve never been able to come clean about it because the harm is to myself and because I know that’s not who he is. I know he’s not a cheater. You wouldn’t be expecting this much of me if he was. I just need help on whether or not I should tell him the whole truth. I don’t feel like it’s 100% beneficial because I don’t think that’s what he thinks I’m hiding but it’s the only thing on my mind. I’m worried that he thinks that I’ll just be lying about everything else now and I don’t really know what to do with ground respect immensely but then sometimes these problems pop up. We don’t talk for days. I'd like some advice on how to handle this in the best way possible and hopefully I don’t lose him.

My wife and I have been together for 10 years, married for the last five. We have a five-year-old and a three-year-old. I love my wife but the last 18- 24 months I have been feeling disconnected. I am beginning to realize that we never had much in common and that if it wasn't for the kids we wouldn't even be together right now. About six months ago I started a new job, made new friends, one of whom is woman that I have become very close with. She is a divorced mother with three boys. We take our lunch breaks together most days and talk about our kids, life at home, music and movies. The last two months or so we have moved on to deeper conversations about our on childhoods, plans, hopes and dreams what we want out of life. I have started to have feelings for her as more than a friend but pushed them aside because I know nothing can come of it. A few weeks ago as we were leaving work I walked with her to her car and as she went to get in she gave me a hug before getting in her car and leaving. She texted me later and said she was sorry and that she shouldn't have done it but she has a bit of a crush on me and just needed a hug today. The hugging started to become a daily thing, innocent enough, and it seemed to quench our desires for more. But we have also been texting each other late in to the night saying that we wished we were together on the couch just holding each other while we watch Tiger King (sorry, need to laugh for a second). The other day, she said we can't act like that anymore and that she doesn't want to be the reason our family fell apart like hers. I agreed that we should stop and that we should just be friends which does hurt but I felt like I could move past it as it was such a short amount of time and just a crush. But we don't have lunch together anymore even with our other friends as a group and not talking to each other at all anymore. I also feel more unhappy than ever at home with my wife. I know I have gone on for a while now and I am sorry but I am lost and can't find the direction I want to go or how to get there. Any advice on how to get over her and find happiness at home again. Or should I just let my wife know I have been thinking about separation?

My husband and I have been married for ten years, together almost 20. The last few years we have been disconnected. We haven’t prioritized our marriage and I slowly pulled away focusing on myself and our boys (ages 8 and 6). We seem more like roommates and get along well when we do activities with the boys. I met my affair partner about 9 months ago. We started talking and he would disclose his unhappiness in his marriage. I started liking him about 2-3 months before the affair started and my marriage seemed to get worse so we started texting and becoming intimate immediately. I feel like I am starting to fall in love with my affair partner. Our personalities are similar. We have many of the same thoughts and feelings. Both of us said we haven’t felt a connection like this, and we have never liked someone so much, so fast. We discussed how we could picture playing house together and how it’d be nice for his son, who’s 3, to have siblings. Despite these feelings I broke off the affair a week ago. I was in turmoil from the beginning, and it got worst as I told my husband I am going to see a therapist. My husband questioned if I loved him and I said I don’t know, I don’t really think so. He seemed devastated. My husband professed his love and after a long talk he told me he wants to be with me. I felt even more guilt and figured I should work on my marriage for my kids’ sake and to see if we can rekindle our love. My husband has been putting more effort by giving me hugs and kisses , asking how I’m feeling ,and cuddling. He’s been more receptive to doing at home date nights, too. I’ve asked him questions to help build an emotional connection but can’t help but think how my AP would respond, thinking he’d give me more of a response sharing his thoughts and feelings whereas my husband’s answers were more vague. My husband wants sex again and I’m not ready. Not sure if he’ll be patient enough with me. Anyway, I am sure it’ll take time to get over my AP but wonder will I truly get over him. Can I rebuild my relationship with my husband?

found texts on my husbands phone in March to a woman, whome I was led to believe was only 22/23, however turned out to be 35. I have known about my husbands collegues at work as we often discuss our day when we get home from work and this woman's name has arisen quite a few times since 2019 onwards. However I was totally unaware of how close my husband and she were until I went into his phone and discovered the amount of texts there were between the two of them, although I must mention that all the texts seem to be instigated by husband and not her leading me to feel that he has developed some sort of connection with her outside of our marriage.. Back in january 2022, 6 weeks or so before I found the texts, I noticed a change in him towards me, like a coldness, something to which I had never felt before. I told him I felt that he had feelings for her, to which he denied and said I was wrong. It appears now, that I was not wrong and he has openly admitted to having feelings for her, but insists they are nothing compared to what he feels for me, it is just a friendship. How deep his feelings actually are I do not know. I suspect deep enough for him not to be able to put us or our marriage first. He told me she has problems with her Boyfriend and that they discuss her personal life, Sexlife, aswell as other things that they have in common.. I have asked him if he has discussed our personal life with her, he said not. I've never had a problem with my husbands female work collegues and have never felt threatened or been given any reason before in our 22year relationship (16 of those married) to feel mis-trust, until now. To me boundaries have been crossed but he does not seem to understand that there is an issue and feels that because he has'nt slept with this woman he has done nothing wrong.. This is basically where we are at.. I am struggling to get past the betrayal hurt and total disrespect that I feel. I feel that his lack of understanding as to why I feel so hurt and betrayed is causing real conflict in our marriage. Their relationship/friendship is still ongoing at work, although A has told me he now tries to avoid her, ( I do not feel that this is true though). when they do cross paths he has told me they still hug on occassion, as she is a huggy person and that on occasions he kisses her on the head, whether she has reciprocated back with a kiss on the head/cheek, I do not know. I do not know how long their flirtatious behaviour has been going on, I can only suspect as far back as 2019, so it's been gradually building for some time and it is quite apparent to me that it has been welcomed by both parties, maybe as a means of escapism for him, from the humdrum drudgery routine of marriage, or maybe he felt that I wasnt their for him somehow, maybe he felt neglected, I dont know. What her reasons are i don't know, what I do know, is that I was and am not happy with it. When I found the texts on 2nd march it was a shock. I confronted my husband, to which he phoned in work sick, which only added to my suspicion, if you dont feel that you have done anything wrong why phone in sick? He was well aware how hurt I felt at the whole situation back in march and I mean deeply hurt. Regardless of my feelings, he went on to buy her not 1 but 3 birthday presants for her birthday in june, to which she was over the moon with.. I feel that he has and still is minimizing the relationship/friendship to pacify me. I don't feel that he has lied to me, but I feel that he hasn't been entirely truthful on the depth of his relationship/friendship or feelings for her and how much it meant and still means to him? If he is questioned in any way regarding this " friendship" or the texts, he goes on the defensive. To me he could of avoided all this back in March, if only he had put us and our marriage as top priority, but it became quite obvious what mattered most to him and that he had no loyalty to our marriage or us, otherwise we would not be sat here today.. This situation has caused a lot of soul searching for me, aswell as arguments, which are becoming tiresome and taking its toll on me mentally. When we argue, i end up stonewalling, because I'm so hurt/angry i literally cannot speak. This is not fair or healthy for our marriage, I know that and it's a trait that I have, that needs serious attention. It's certainly not healthy for me.. There are times when I can't see the woods for the trees, and I have spent the last 8 months picking apart our marriage, stitch by stitch until it has all but disintegrated. My gut instinct is telling me that something is not right. I am a strong person, I can take the truth, what I can't take is a watered down version of the truth, or edited versions of it. If I feel my trust has been broken, then I in turn feel so betrayed, to the point where I cannot even begin to imagine how I will get back to the person I was before, if that is at all possible. I feel that the me that believed in her Marriage, that felt that she was married to the best man/soulmate is lost. I feel Something must have been wrong with our marriage, i must have played a part in this. Somewhere somehow, his feelings must of shifted for me at sometime for him to develope such feelings for her on a emotional level and for him to send texts in the nature that he did..building up to such a level of wanting to go for a drink and offering her a lift home, apparently to help sort her life out, to fix her because they can't talk at work. Thus giving an opportunity to be alone together, which I believe is quite dangerous territory, given the fact that he had already developed feelings and an emotional connection with her outside our marriage.. I am disappointed that he couldn't talk to me. Something was obviously wrong with us, to which I was oblivious too. I welcome any input you could offer on if my feelings are justified..also am I right in feeling that I needed to take measures to try and put a stop to this relationshop/friendship from developing any further. No actual actions were taken by him to stop the friendship, even though he new how hurt I was by what I had read. I felt my feelings were of no consequence and all that mattered to him was his "friendship" with her I have never accused him of cheating or sleeping with her I do not feel that this has happened, what I have accused him of is having feelings for her, more than friendship. I feel he is in denial of these feelings, because then it would mean him admitting that he was/is capable of another woman occupying thoughts, headspace for which only should be reserved for your spouse. If that is the case, there is not much I can do, these things happen in life, people change, feelings change, one thing I do know is you will not be able to suppress feelings, they will keep re-surfacing and it is just best to be honest and truthful. Their is nothing worse than living a lie and it is also this that hurts, to think that he would only be here because, he has nowhere else to go, is sad. Don't ever give up happiness for materialism. People restart and build again all the time. These things happen in life. I have voiced all these concerns to him and he says this is not the case, but I feel the texts that he sent to her do not resonate what he is saying to me, his actions and texting tell me different. I thought we had a good marriage on the whole, I thought we shared and talked about everything, to find out this is not to be the case has come as a bit of a shock, as I was totally oblivious and had no idea of his " friendship" with her and this has forced me to seek a bit of a reality check. It is while taking this reality check that I find myself now Veiwing our marriage differently, because I was treated with such indifference..still am. If ever mention her or ask him if he has spoken to her, his answer is always, had a 2 SECOND conversation with her to day..no one has ever had a 2second conversation..and if you press him, well what was your 2sec conversation, he gets all defensive..like I shouldn't be asking. I shouldn't have to ask at all, he should tell me if they have had conversations when at work, whether they are "2seconds" or 20min. The saddest part of all this is that I feel that the old marriage is lost, we now have to try and build a new US, but we won't be the same, the marriage wont be the same. I will miss the marriage that we had the one that made me feel safe, the one that made me feel special, I no longer feel safe or special. I now feel like I constantly have to have my guard up, waiting for the moment when his feelings resurface.May be how I feel will fade in time, but when your reaching 60 time is more precious, why waste it on some thing that is never going to give you peice of mind, you can't buy peice of mind. Probably most of this is just mind talk, the mind is a powerful tool, because you dont know the truth and when you feel your feelings are being invalidated, you tend to come up with your own version of events, which is worse, but that's what happens when trust goes. Am I acting like a jealous wife? am i over-reacting? is it all in my head?, oh and the latest one is, I am warped in the head.. All of which have been said to me by my husband.. On the whole my husband is a kind, considerate and empathic man, ( although I have not witnessed much of that towards me the last few months) who still tells me he loves and adores me at every opportunity he gets. It was these attributes and qualities in him that made me fall in love with him. To find that he has reciprocated things he has said to me, things that I thought were specially for me, with another woman, well, it's not nice to read. I now regrettably find myself reacting to these statements of adornment and undying love with cynicism and irony, for someone who is supposed to love and adore you, why would they want to to hurt you and continue to hurt you when they could stop it..this I don't understand as love, that is not love, that is indifference.. I feel he was physically attracted to C The walkThe talkThe flirtatious personality The dress sense The confidenceGenerally the way she just carries herself. I wouldn't be suprised that at some point in their relationship/friendship he has at least once thought to himself, I wish my wife was more like her. would he be honest and tell the truth if he was asked the question? The volume of texts, the contents of the texts, all show that it was more than a friendship, I feel if he denies that it was anything more than friendship, then in his mind it's ok, to admit that it was something more than friendship, maybe in his head that would make him a bad person, for him to admit that he has feelings for someone other than me cannot be easy, so its easier to deny it.It doesnt make him a bad person it makes him human..like I said these things happen someone can walk into your life and turn your world upside down and you dont even see it coming. she messaged him the other day about wanting to know his 5 favourite films favourite things to do and favourite beer. Messages and phone calls still going on to this day.. I appreciate any advice on what to do. Kind Regards M

Hi, I am in a lesbian relationship. Me and my gf fell in love while she was in another, long-term relationship for a good 7 years. She broke up with her ex over me and we started a relationship, which is going very well, we have good sex, communication, but sometimes we fight because of slight incompatibilities. Overall, however, I can attest to the fact that she seems very much in love with me, she cares about me and we have so much fun. Occasionally we fight but when this happens she gets so upset that I am sure she loves me. Anyway, with her ex they had a strictly platonic relationship as my gf lost sexual attraction to her from the first months of their relationship already (they stopped having sex altogether and she told me she would see her as a teddy bear and wouldn't get jealous if she thought she could get intimate with someone else). However, they still had a very strong, codependent and affectionate bond and continued the relationship for 7 years until she met and fell in love with me. She told me that it is the first time she feels romantic love and not just puppy love. She realized that she only saw her ex as a best friend and not as a lover and that she could not continue their 'relationship', so she broke up with her telling her the truth. We don't live together but we sleep together twice per week. I thought, based on my gf's confession, that her ex had moved out of their flat (house belongs to my gf only) when they broke up. However, it seems that they still live together when she is not at my place (for no apparent reason, ex has parents and can go live with them) and sleep in the same bed throughout all this time. What is more, my gf texts her every day saying that she misses her and that she is the love of her life, that she cant't wait to see her again and overwhelm her with hugs, that she is not in love with me and that she can't wait to have experiences with her, like trips etc and that she wishes she (her ex) was a little toy or kitten so that she could carry her on her all the time so as not to separate (!). She even makes holiday plans with her and calls her sweet names (but not sexual ones). When her ex acts a bit distant in the texts they exchange, my gf asks her 'why aren't you sweet with me'? Please tell me you miss me'. She also says that she can't be emotionally involved with anyone else because she thinks of her all the time and she cries over her (I find that hard to believe as she seems quite sentimental with me). Moreover, she lets her ex use her credit card without any limit and still does. She even told her that I am just a footnote in her life whereas her ex is the main chapter and that sometimes I irritate her because we are not very compatible, with which I honestly do not agree. However, when her ex asked her if they could get back together sometime in the future she said no because their relationship was not of a truly 'romantic' type but they are each other's most important person. I know all this because I saw messages on her phone when she left it accidentally at home one day. I don't know how to feel. I mean I know she seems very much in love with me, she likes having sex with me and I also know that she is not attracted to her ex at all so I know they are not getting physical and that these messages are not suspicious but only of a sweet type. Her ex still very much wants her mind you. What bothers me that she hid from me the fact that they still live together (when she does not sleep at my place) and that she texts her ex daily, saying that she misses her. Perhaps she is guilty because she dumped her for me and now the ex is suffering and all these are lies but still. I know its a different type of love than ours, mostly of the friendly type but I am wondering if this is normal or she is not 100% into me as I used to think, especially because she said she is not in love with me, even though it seems otherwise. I can't admit what I saw to her, because I feel extremely bad for violating her privacy. Any thoughts? Sorry for my English.

I have a common friend on Facebook and we started conversing before my wedding. Now I have been married for six months. We use to chat formally later after the wedding we started sharing our personal lives with our partners. We use to console each other if there were fights. At times we use to address each other as love, sweetheart etc. Mistakenly my husband gets to see my mobile and goes through all the chats where I have discussed wrong about husband like separation and sensual chat. My husband got furious because he went through some of the chats and repeatedly asked me for the explanation. He took the screenshots and shared it to all the family members (both the families) and informed that I am having an extra marital affair. There was a chat from the guy, "wanna go crazy with u", I replied with kissing smileys, guy replies tight hug again I replied with smileys. I informed the guy that we don't have future to this guy responds, "at least I have you by my side". I never shared any of my pics neither we made calls to hear voice. To the above conversation my husband started blaming me in front of everyone that I invite guy to the bed and wanted to have crazy sex. Husband humiliated me in front of both the family by these words. Now he wanted to file a divorce because in Islam marriage is not considered with extra marital affairs. I tried a lot explaining to him but husband is adamant about filing a divorce.

I'm in a relationship with this amazing guy for two years now. Back when we first started dating he told a brief story about a school friend he ended up having an affair with a few years ago. Now two years later this woman sends me a friends request on fb. At this point i dont realise she is the person he told me about. He says its his school friend, and that she sent him a message saying how much she enjoys creeping his love story with me and all my photographs of us (im a photographer), and would i do maternity pics for her daughter. At which point my gut feeling starts stirring. Keep in mind, he only mentions that after asked who is this woman sending me friends request. He gets defensive and says she is just a school friend admiring my photography. I accept her request and forgot about it for a week. Yesterday i get a message from her wondering if i would do the photos. And btw she yet again mentions how she enjoys creeping (her choice of words) our profiles. And she is a school friend. At this point my gut is screaming blue murder inside of me! Im trying to not react without having my ducks in the row. After looking at her profile i relise she is in fact the woman my partner had a brief affair with. However at this point both of them identified themselfes to me only as school friends. In the evening after work i ask my partner if the woman in question is who i think she is. He is surprised i remember and admits that she is. And it also transpires that he already responded to her on my behalf stating that i would love to do the photos for her expecting daughter and that i have a home studio and we also travel to town where she resides from time to time, basically offering my services to his ex without me even knowing. Correct me if i am wrong, but i see such situation highly inappropriate, especially given the fact neighter of them were in a hurry to tell me they were more than friends. I took this really hard. I felt very insulted and disrespected and i lost my cool... I was sooo mad to find out that my man would invite someone he slept with into my home, hiding the fact they had a thing. I responded to her telling her that i am aware they are more than friends and told her to go creep somebody else. Her only response was "oh....." Clearly my partner did not expect me to remember the story he told me two years ago. I told him how hurt it made me feel and asked him to tell her to stop creeping us and leave us the hell alone. He didnt do it. The conflict carried on into today as i was getting more and more upset about his refusal to respond to her and remove her from his social media. He said he doesnt want another conflict. But ots ok to have a conflict with me? I told him if he wants to fix this situation he needs to respond to her and block her to stop the creeping. I dont need him openly inviting his sex buddy into my house, even if just for business.... I left for a couple of hours in hopes he would do it. No such dice. I could not believe the resistance. We had a fight, he unfriended her just to shut me up and refused to message her or block her. Im still very hurt because he chose to avoid a conflict with her, over my peace of mind. I would probably have not gotten this upset, but he had a history of befriending and following lots of women in the beginning of our relationship. It stopped after i asked him to stop. But i am blown away by his resistance to do anything in this situation. Thoughts?