I'm in a relationship with this amazing guy for two years now. Back when we first started dating he told a brief story about a school friend he ended up having an affair with a few years ago.
Now two years later this woman sends me a friends request on fb. At this point i dont realise she is the person he told me about. He says its his school friend, and that she sent him a message saying how much she enjoys creeping his love story with me and all my photographs of us (im a photographer), and would i do maternity pics for her daughter. At which point my gut feeling starts stirring. Keep in mind, he only mentions that after asked who is this woman sending me friends request. He gets defensive and says she is just a school friend admiring my photography. I accept her request and forgot about it for a week.
Yesterday i get a message from her wondering if i would do the photos. And btw she yet again mentions how she enjoys creeping (her choice of words) our profiles. And she is a school friend. At this point my gut is screaming blue murder inside of me! Im trying to not react without having my ducks in the row. After looking at her profile i relise she is in fact the woman my partner had a brief affair with. However at this point both of them identified themselfes to me only as school friends.
In the evening after work i ask my partner if the woman in question is who i think she is. He is surprised i remember and admits that she is. And it also transpires that he already responded to her on my behalf stating that i would love to do the photos for her expecting daughter and that i have a home studio and we also travel to town where she resides from time to time, basically offering my services to his ex without me even knowing. Correct me if i am wrong, but i see such situation highly inappropriate, especially given the fact neighter of them were in a hurry to tell me they were more than friends.
I took this really hard. I felt very insulted and disrespected and i lost my cool... I was sooo mad to find out that my man would invite someone he slept with into my home, hiding the fact they had a thing. I responded to her telling her that i am aware they are more than friends and told her to go creep somebody else. Her only response was "oh....." Clearly my partner did not expect me to remember the story he told me two years ago. I told him how hurt it made me feel and asked him to tell her to stop creeping us and leave us the hell alone. He didnt do it. The conflict carried on into today as i was getting more and more upset about his refusal to respond to her and remove her from his social media.
He said he doesnt want another conflict. But ots ok to have a conflict with me? I told him if he wants to fix this situation he needs to respond to her and block her to stop the creeping. I dont need him openly inviting his sex buddy into my house, even if just for business.... I left for a couple of hours in hopes he would do it. No such dice. I could not believe the resistance. We had a fight, he unfriended her just to shut me up and refused to message her or block her. Im still very hurt because he chose to avoid a conflict with her, over my peace of mind. I would probably have not gotten this upset, but he had a history of befriending and following lots of women in the beginning of our relationship. It stopped after i asked him to stop. But i am blown away by his resistance to do anything in this situation. Thoughts?