Menu Relationship issues
I cheated on my husband. What is next?

My husband and I have been married for ten years, together almost 20. The last few years we have been disconnected. We haven’t prioritized our marriage and I slowly pulled away focusing on myself and our boys (ages 8 and 6). We seem more like roommates and get along well when we do activities with the boys. I met my affair partner about 9 months ago. We started talking and he would disclose his unhappiness in his marriage. I started liking him about 2-3 months before the affair started and my marriage seemed to get worse so we started texting and becoming intimate immediately.

I feel like I am starting to fall in love with my affair partner. Our personalities are similar. We have many of the same thoughts and feelings. Both of us said we haven’t felt a connection like this, and we have never liked someone so much, so fast. We discussed how we could picture playing house together and how it’d be nice for his son, who’s 3, to have siblings. Despite these feelings I broke off the affair a week ago. I was in turmoil from the beginning, and it got worst as I told my husband I am going to see a therapist. My husband questioned if I loved him and I said I don’t know, I don’t really think so. He seemed devastated. My husband professed his love and after a long talk he told me he wants to be with me. I felt even more guilt and figured I should work on my marriage for my kids’ sake and to see if we can rekindle our love.

My husband has been putting more effort by giving me hugs and kisses , asking how I’m feeling ,and cuddling. He’s been more receptive to doing at home date nights, too. I’ve asked him questions to help build an emotional connection but can’t help but think how my AP would respond, thinking he’d give me more of a response sharing his thoughts and feelings whereas my husband’s answers were more vague. My husband wants sex again and I’m not ready. Not sure if he’ll be patient enough with me.

Anyway, I am sure it’ll take time to get over my AP but wonder will I truly get over him. Can I rebuild my relationship with my husband?

Comments 0