I am at my wits end about an ongoing issue between myself and my boyfriend of 12 years. We haven't had the smoothest of relationships and have split numerous times over the years always instigated by him, always for the same issue. He has told me he doesn't trust me in the past because he says I hide things from him that have happened. Or I have lied about where I am going. Both things I disagree with but he shouts at me that much I end up agreeing and doubting myself.
The latest incident was about three weeks ago I returned from a work trip and we were browsing through holidays. He took my phone from me and said I want to look on your facebook. I was shocked at his sudden demand and got angry that he was invading my privacy. He said he knew I had been messaging someone and accused me of turning up to his house a couple of weeks before with a love bite on my face (which was eyelash tint). He then asked me who had been sending me horse racing tips on twitter and I couldn't think what he was talking about until afterwards (channel 4 tipster that tweets, doesn't send me messages).
He looked through my Facebook messages, twitter messages, text messages, questioned me about numbers and my internet history. When he was doing this I was getting angry and shouting at him. I panicked when he checked my internet history because I had looked at someone's twitter account the night before from my past (male). He asked me who the person was and I lied because, when I once searched for a friend he ended things with me. I should have told the truth immediately I realise that because I wasn't doing anything wrong, but my past experience with him scared me. I thought he would leave me again.
After I had shouted at him to get out and told him I needed to sleep I texted him because I didn't want to sleep on an argument. He was continuing to say I was hiding something and I owned up to who the person was. He said there was more I was hiding and he called me all sorts of names. Since this I have proceeded to tell him that I wasn't hiding anything else and he still disbelieves me. We did meet up to talk a couple of days after and he said he didn't know what he wanted to do. We decided to go away from each other and meet again. When we did he told me he had kissed another girl a week after the incident and maybe more and has kept in contact with her. I felt cheated and he said we had already ended.
He is now also claiming that the last time we split up I gave my phone number to someone he knew but didn't tell him when we started contact again. He claims I told him I had only chatted to him online. I don't remember saying this as it was a year and a half ago but don't think I would have lied about it. He first said I hadn't come to him and told him I had been chatting to this person and he had to ask me about it and said I wasn't open enough with him. I was then able to remember that he asked me during the first time we spoke so how could I have told him any sooner.
He also says I lied about the place someone lived that I dated because one minute he said I told him it was one then a different. I also disagree with this and can only think I may have been talking about different people.
I have told him I believe he has issues as I don't see the relevance of whether I chatted online or through text to someone, whether someone was from one or the other place and really he has no right to ask me about anything from when we were apart and not in contact as he had made the decision to end us. He says I have an issue telling the truth and will even be willing to come and explain it to a counsellor for me because I obviously don't know I am doing it. Am I in the wrong? I am losing my mind.