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Falling out

Hiii guys. I have a boyfriend for 2 years going on 3. We have a kid and he’s just my world and I always want to do right by my kid. Should i stay with dad or not. I don’t know because I also love him and want to be with him.

Tonight he didn’t get off work till 8 and we were going to watch the new season of Fate on Netflix and by 9 he’s just falls asleep and I understand he’s tired so I wake him up and tell him he falling asleep and he wants to continue watching the show and that’s fine and so he falls asleep again and wants to continue watching again and the third time I tell him if you’re tired go sleep and he’s says no and honestly it gets on my nerves having to repeat each time that he’s falling asleep and and refuses to go to bed. Anyways I get upset because it’s a Friday and doesn’t stay awake it sounds dumb I know but the thing is that he stays up and plays his PlayStation until like 5 on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and on weekdays sometimes he stays up till 1 playing but when he spends time with me he falls a sleep every 5 seconds. I mean it makes me fell terrible like I’m boring or doesn’t want to spend time with me and it’s not like it’s a one time conversation, we’ve had several and trust me it’s not an easy one cause he gets MAD at me, and it’s not a mad conversation he always has to be dramatic about it, he yells at me and covers his face up and doesn’t want to look at me, or even talk to me earlier he hit my phone cause I was telling him to brush his teeth before bed and didn’t like that he eventually moved to the living room telling me to go away while I was trying to get the covers off his face so he could look at him but doing so he like getting mad with it land that hurts because I’m a very calm person, I don’t yell, I just talk, and I hate when he treats me this way. I always chase after him even when he just in the living room, I’m siting here typing his and he’s literally sleeping in the living room. He has never once chased me. Literally I feel like he doesn’t love me, i feel like I’m not worth loving.

This is every fight and I know he has anger issues but like I tell that he work on it cause and he does and then it reverts to this. He has never hit me but he does scare me. I have so many stories about it but never changes my sake or my child. But we never really fights in front of him. There’s been like 1 time when we did and I dreaded it, he was screaming and yelling I felt the worse mom ever. It broke my heart and I told him that will never happen again.

I always tell myself that if this keeps up I will have to leave because I can’t keep doing this, I can’t tell if I stay for myself of my kid. I can’t tell if I should go or stay. I can’t tell if he loves me or not. He says he does but I feel like he doesn’t. I don’t know why I even bother to try in my relationship, it feels like I’m holding on to nothing.

Just so you guys know. He’s a good guy with a good heart and good daddy. He a hard worker and works long hours which I hate, but as he says he doesn’t for me and our child. If I want something he gets it even if we’re low money or need something, or helps me clean if I ask him too, he always drives cause i hate driving. If this is all over the place I’m sorry, I myself am all over the place.

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