Hi I just want to know if I'm thinking right about all this. To cut a long story short, my daughter (16) and husband are totally at odds with each other. I love my daughter to bits but she has always been a handful. Truckloads of attitude, very highly strung, always right etc! She can also be very rude and disrespectful. I also love my husband but he does tend to be a very negative person, struggles to see the good in people / situations , and he also is very sensitive ie. Takes everything very personally. He can also be very antagonistic and quick to anger and tends to drop hints and be sarcastic rather than say straight out what his problem is. He is also quite an anxious person and seems to automatically think the worst all the time and worry unnecessarily. It used to drive me nuts but I've gotten used to it and try and ignore it now if I can. He has many good points which I prefer to concentrate on. However it drives my daughter mad. He is a great provider and is never violent but sometimes I find it hard to get close to him because of the negativity. He also doesn't take a whole lot of interest in the kids or their lives. Seems to notice every bad thing they do but rarely praises. My daughter openly tells him that she hates him and that he is a douche and that she wouldn't care if he was out of her life. Which I think is terrible and it really upsets me when she says this. But what upset me more is his reaction. In my opinion, he acts just as bad, threatening to leave, saying he isn't going to stay in a house where he is hated etc. I've tried to suggest that they talk to each other but that never goes well as neither of them ever admit they are wrong. I think they both are. My daughter is a hormonal, strong minded, determined teenager. As far as my husband is concerned, sometimes I feel like I am dealing with 2 teenagers ! I can see both points of view but whose side do I take here? I feel like the meat in the sandwich ! The constant enmity between them is really getting me down. I don't feel like I should have to choose between them but that is how I feel a lot of the time. Am I thinking right here? So confused and depressed. I just want to have a happy, functional family.

My husband of 23 years has moved home to his parents' house. He’s angry at me because I haven’t contributed financially to the home and bills. When he first left he said, show me some small income and I’ll come home. Now he’s talking divorces. I have a small child to look after. Why is he so angry?

My ex-husband and I have been apart for over five years. We share a daughter who is 18 and just gone away to uni, and a son who is 15. We have always shared time with the kids very evenly and he has always supported them financially. But I am really struggling with his laid back approach to their education and studies. My daughter was always quite academic and it was always a battle to get her to study, and she has done OK. My son is less academic but has aspirations of becoming a mechanic working with boats or cars. I am trying to encourage him to put in some effort especially in Maths and English because without these grades his options will be really limited. My son thinks I just nag him and I believe his dad agrees with him, I have tried talking to my ex but he says 'don't worry, he'll be fine'. Neither will listen so I always look like the strict one. My son seems to be staying at his dad's more often... less rules, cash flows and no chores... Why wouldn't that be more appealing? I don't know how to fix this before time runs out for exams!

I'm depressed every day. My husband constantly complains about me. He snaps at everything I say. He doesn’t let me speak and genuinely looks so annoyed when I speak to him. Ironically, I think he truly loves me. We don’t have sex but he’s OK with this. I’m only 44 and long to have a sexual relationship again. I’m depressed every day. My kids would never forgive me if I divorced him.

My wife and I have got four great kids together and last year we bought our very first house together (previously rented) which is a four-bed in need of total renovation. Since we got the keys I basically worked all day at my job and then went there until the early hours of the day until we moved in at the end of last year. My wife has always commented how we've not got anything in common for a while now and looking back at my interests I can agree that they differ from hers completely. She is one of six kids and although her family leave reasonably close, they never really help out with the kids as they either have kids of their own or they work full time/have other responsibilities. I'm an only child, I don't have a relationship with my Dad and my Mum is a professional musician so I don't see much of her but we do talk all the time so thats all good. Anyway, it was my daughters birthday last week and she wanted a garden party and as our garden was a mess, we decided to update it with some decking which yours truly did and this took up a lot of my time. On top of the house projects, we have a new puppy, which was supposed to be a family pet but has basically come down to me and my other daughter to look after. There are other things but to summarise them, my life is basically like this: With so many responsibilities, I only have Mon/Fri/Sat night free. Out of these three free nights, I've been working on the house be it inside or in the garden and i normally finish after 10pm each night. Oh yeah, and then I have to walk the dog! My wife on the other hand looks after everything else such as the cooking,cleaning, looking after the kids if i'm not there etc but her life is just as busy as mine albeit child-focused. I'm sure that when the house is all finished we'll have more time for each other but in the past year we've been out once together. I've lost touch with all my friends and she spends all her free time on facebook. She told me last night she wasn't happy with me and ended up storming off as I don't talk to her and she's lonely but from my point of view everything that takes up all my time like the decking, dance rehearsals, swimming and the dog were all sorted out by her and then she left it to me. for about 2 years she's also had minor medical niggles which have ranged from headaches, to ulcers, to tummy ache to foot ache etc and when I get home from work i hear about whats hurting her today. It's now got to the point when I don't want to talk to her as all I hear is complaining about everything. What do I do? I can't stretch myself any thinner and anything i'd consider talking to her about is either minor compared to her life or just not on common ground between us. It's hard to want to listen to someone that moans all the time about life but I don't want to break up as she's a good Mum to my kids and does a good job keeping on top of the house. We just don't click any more. Any suggestions?

My husband and I made the decision to separate late last year and have recently moved out. He has now needed to leave town for work. Our separation came at the end of a long relationship that began 14 years ago (at 16 and 25) and has putted along, not altogether unhappily but with discontent and basically living completely separate lives for the last 5 or so years. We have one child together who is intense behaviourally and he has not been supportive of my struggles with her, so I have worked part time and managed her as best I can while he has worked full.time and pursued his own interests and hobbies at leisure, never feeling that time at home or helping with our child should be prioritised. Last year it culminated in him travelling overseas several times alone and having a relationship there which has now ended. I see this as the catalyst for ending our relationship but not necessarily the whole reason - none of it would have happened if we were happy together. I don't feel as though we have ever been able.to bring out the best in each other. When he first wanted to separate, I was sad (mainly for our daughter) but worked through those feelings, developed peace with the situation and our need to separate and some months later (officially separated but still under the same roof) very tentatively began a new relationship. After this started he backflipped and said he wanted to be back together. He thinks that he is ready to change. The relationship has been up and down basically since the beginning and I honestly feel like the best thing for both of us would be to peacefully and amicably let it go and work on reconnecting him as a parent. I am ok with the whole thing - a little sad but also excited about rediscovering old hobbies, making new friends, starting a new job and seeing how my very cautious new relationship develops now I am living alone (well, with my daughter). He is not emotionally expressive like me, is holding on to a lot of regret and sadness and is really struggling. I am really worried that he won't be ok on his own, and I still care about him deeply and this hurts me a lot. I guess what I want to know is: How do I know if we have made the right decision? Should I get back with him again, do heaps of counselling and really, really try to make it work (obviously ending the new relationship I have begun, which I would struggle with at this point) for his sake and for our daughter? My gut feeling is that if we did this we'd just be delaying the inevitable. If not, how do I help him move on from the relationship? We obviously are still communicating because of our daughter. And how do I go forth and be happy with someone new when I can't shake the feeling I've left a trail of heartbreak behind me? I know this is too long (and yet still so much is left out)! I don't really expect anyone to have the answers but any ideas or experiences would ve helpful. Thanks :)

I am a married man, I have a wife and 2 teens. I’ve been married for over 15 years now. My wife is a good mom, but her lack of drive for success, and the mentality of being a housewife has turned me off for many years now. I’ve had a conversation with her about 7 years ago about going out there and getting her degree to challenge herself and help the family financially, I was always met with negative responses. Asking her to get a job was somewhat insulting to her and she tends to tell me I’m to blame for because I don’t like the jobs she applied to (they were not worth the time for the money) and she refused to get a job at decent places with good benefits (like Walmart or Aldi). In any event, through the years I’ve grown professionally and financially with very little financial input from her. I’ve taken care of her parents abroad as well as mine and I feel like I’ve just been a cash cow for everyone. I’ve had numerous discussions with her about my feelings and she finally decided to go out there and get a degree (because she senses I'm going to leave her) which I’m helping pay for, but for many years now I have not been connected to her emotionally, I don’t love her anymore and many things happened between us and her family where she didn’t back me up and chose her family instead. I am only married to her because of my kids. The sex is there just to take care of our needs, we don’t even kiss. During the pandemic I started trying to improve on one of the 4 languages I speak. I met someone on a language app, we started talking, very quickly moved to video conversations and we both started developing feelings. We share many goals, aspirations, and she is the complete opposite of my wife in so many levels which just draws me to her even more. She is also married. We’ve been romantically talking for 4 years now online consistently. Her husband is a macho guy who wants her as a maid essentially, she is putting her self through school with the help of her grandfather (who dislikes her husband) and is on her way to becoming a lawyer this year. I love everything about this woman. We met in person (I had a work trip to her country). We had great conversations and made love, I felt so at home with her I couldn’t believe it. I have never felt so happy in my life, never felt like this with my wife. She has never asked me for a nickel, and she’s helped me in some many ways, I feel like a different man with her. We both want out of our marriages, but I’m afraid of hurting my kids (16 and 13) and disrupting their lives. She is willing to leave her husband for me, she too has a kid (8 years old). I also don’t want to hurt my wife, I don’t love her but I don’t also want to hurt her self esteem and she also cannot support herself financially yet as she is in school till 2024 and working 1 day week for now. She knows I don’t love her like the first day we got married, we talked about it, tried working on it for a few years but it’s no use. We are both in our 40s and I am not happy with her and I feel I’d be giving up my own happiness if I don’t pursue my life with the other woman whom I love. I also feel my wife deserves to be loved, by someone who truly feels for her, not me. I don’t know what to do.

I’m beyond lost. We have an 18 months old, we struggled for years to have. She adores her daddy. He has children from a previous marriage I will lose. I found out my husband was looking to sleep with trans women before we got married. I should have left then but I didn’t. He has said over and over that he only wants a relationship with me. I’m his best friend, he loves me, etc. This is just something I can do sexually that he wants. He has gone behind my back to fulfill these needs. He says I’ve caught him every time but I’m not sure I believe that. We’ve been together for 7 years (I think) and the stress/worry has taken it’s toll. I agreed to an open relationship where he can OCCASIONALLY seek out sex with trans women. In 2 weeks he’s had sex with 3 trans women. One he brought to our home while I was out. She left her lip gloss behind (I told him this was on purpose but he doesn’t believe me). He says I didn’t say he couldn’t bring them to our home so he didn’t think it was a rule. Our baby sleeps in our bed… he didn’t even change the sheets. My mind is still spinning so I’m all over the place. Is an open relationship even possible?? I feel like I’m delaying the inevitable. I want to be in this marriage. I want it to work. I’ve explored leaving. I have 2 dogs and a cat I won’t leave. I can’t rent with my dogs. With the housing market booming I can’t afford to buy on my own. I don’t want my baby to be without her daddy. I’m so lost. He said I could sleep with women but I don’t have that desire. He’s suggested 3somes but I really don’t have that desire. My sex drive is nonexistent at this point. The lies, nursing a baby, severe hormone issues, etc. we have sex basically daily but it’s for him. He’s even gone to have sex with a trans women hours after we had sex. I have zero desire to date or find another relationship. I truly think I’ll be fine being single if this doesn’t work. I’ve been lied to/cheated on in every relationship. If I’ll single that can’t happen but I’d miss the companionship. I consider myself an LGBT+ ally. I’m struggling with the idea of him fetishizing trans women. He seems to think they would never catch feelings for him (but that girl “forgot” her lipgloss) and he would never catch feelings for them. He has said if we didn’t work he’d only be in a relationship with trans women. His family is extremely homophonic so I don’t know that I believe that. I also struggle because he’s a trump supporter… honestly that has caused the most problems in our marriage. How can you be with/be attracted to trans people and support someone who took their rights away? I realize in the grand scheme of things this seems silly but it really bothers me. Has anyone stayed in a marriage where they were open to their husband seeking out trans women? I’ve never talked about this before. I feel very alone. It’s a secret I’ve kept for 7 years! I love this man, I love his kids, and I love (most of) our life together.