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“Too much, too soon?”

A few weeks ago I connected with a woman on a dating app, this one is designed to work with your Facebook profile and recommends friends of friends etc., with the potential of finding someone more suitable. We’re both in our late 20s. We are mutual friends with another couple, me knowing the guy through university and her the girl through a previous job.

The conversation quickly progressed and it was clear we found one another easy to talk to. We exchanged numbers and she was quite forward saying I could ask her what her plans for the weekend were. We arranged dinner for Saturday but on Saturday morning she asked if I wanted to meet sooner and go for a coffee and progress to dinner. Throughout the week she had kept telling me how much she was looking forward to our date. Our first date ended up being eight hours together with conversation flowing easily, no awkward silences or thinking what to talk about next.

We then arranged a date for the following week – a dinner on Friday at a nice restaurant – and once again on the afternoon of the date she asked to meet earlier for a drink in a bar. Dinner is extremely good and again conversation flowing and it is apparent how similar we are. She invites me home that evening and that also goes very well and we end up spending the Saturday together talking and relaxing with the intention of spending another night together at my house. But a few hours into being at mine, she asks if she could go home as suddenly everything just got intense for her and she realises she hasn’t spend two nights in a row with a man before.

I then get a message on the Sunday telling me that it all got too much too quickly and she would like to leave things there. It’s been two weeks now and I wasn’t quite ready to finish. Given how easy it was to be in her company I thought this had the foundations to be something serious and given how much more forward she has been than me, I thought it was mutual. I would like to reach out to her again but I am also respecting her boundaries. To me we were a good fit but I can’t quite understand why she didn’t just ask to slow down instead of completely stopping things altogether. She hasn’t told me she no longer likes me, just that it was too much for her so I don’t know where that leaves me. I haven’t felt that spark with someone I’ve dated in a long while that I did with her so don’t want it to extinguish.

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