I’ve been with my partner for 12 years. We moved house together into our dream home but had to leave because of some difficulties in the neighbourhood. During that time we met what I thought was a good friend to both of us. She didn’t work and neither did my partner so they used to catch up together regularly when I was at work. The relationship is now theirs. He talks about his friend and they often meet up together.
I have seen a couple of what I believe are suggestive texts although both say there is nothing going on. It now feels as if I’m not part of the friendship but recently as I’m spending more time at home they haven’t met up as frequently; although she is always texting to ask when he is going to visit. I shared my concerns with my partner and he’s been more open saying when he’s going but I still don’t understand why they feel the need to only meet when I’m not there.
I don’t like the way she encourages him to drink all the time either. She has a partner who’s not really interested in her and together they are always criticising her partner. I’ve even seen their texts criticising me. I’ve now heard that she spoke to his family saying that he is more withdrawn and not the same person he used to be and that because I’m at home more I’ve upset his routine, he doesn’t go out anymore and is withdrawing.
Am I right to be concerned? Should she be talking to his family about this? Wouldn’t it be better to talk to me if she is concerned about him? I feel like she needs the attention from him that she doesn’t get from her partner. I did get frustrated and angry about it at one point and realise now that wasn’t the way to deal with it. I really don’t know what to do. It’s destroying me and our relationship.