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Sexual incompatibility

Hello My partner and I have been together for 10 years. Our sexual realationship has been good mostly, although I have a greater need. Recently I was shocked when she had an affair for around 4 months during which she almost always refused sex, making up excuses of all kinds. I still hurt from that(about a month) She has stopped seeing him now. Now she is really not interested in sex with me, although she does blow me sometimes, but when I ask her penetration it's always a negative response like (We just had sex I am sore etc. I am missing the connection that way but we mainly have a good relationship in other ways. We have a big age gap .I am older but consider myself still in good shape and I have lost confidence in myself. I have tried talking but to no avail.Any thoughts please would be appreciated.

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