Hi I just want to know if I'm thinking right about all this. To cut a long story short, my daughter (16) and husband are totally at odds with each other. I love my daughter to bits but she has always been a handful. Truckloads of attitude, very highly strung, always right etc! She can also be very rude and disrespectful. I also love my husband but he does tend to be a very negative person, struggles to see the good in people / situations , and he also is very sensitive ie. Takes everything very personally. He can also be very antagonistic and quick to anger and tends to drop hints and be sarcastic rather than say straight out what his problem is. He is also quite an anxious person and seems to automatically think the worst all the time and worry unnecessarily. It used to drive me nuts but I've gotten used to it and try and ignore it now if I can. He has many good points which I prefer to concentrate on. However it drives my daughter mad. He is a great provider and is never violent but sometimes I find it hard to get close to him because of the negativity. He also doesn't take a whole lot of interest in the kids or their lives. Seems to notice every bad thing they do but rarely praises. My daughter openly tells him that she hates him and that he is a douche and that she wouldn't care if he was out of her life. Which I think is terrible and it really upsets me when she says this. But what upset me more is his reaction. In my opinion, he acts just as bad, threatening to leave, saying he isn't going to stay in a house where he is hated etc. I've tried to suggest that they talk to each other but that never goes well as neither of them ever admit they are wrong. I think they both are. My daughter is a hormonal, strong minded, determined teenager. As far as my husband is concerned, sometimes I feel like I am dealing with 2 teenagers ! I can see both points of view but whose side do I take here? I feel like the meat in the sandwich ! The constant enmity between them is really getting me down. I don't feel like I should have to choose between them but that is how I feel a lot of the time. Am I thinking right here? So confused and depressed. I just want to have a happy, functional family.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year. We have a lot in common and a lot of history. We did a lot together and are really close. He's very sweet and has an incredibly kind heart, and I did love him but he also has a ged and doesn't want to go to college whereas I want to be a pilot in the airforce. But now I'm in college and things feel different between us. At first he was a bit controlling and whiny. I would be busy and didn't always call or text back right away (and it's only been a few days). He's ready to come down and move in and start a life but. I don't know if I am, I don't know what I want. He's clingy and telling me that he would never date if I ever leave and everything. And now here's the thing... I met this guy on campus who is smart and fun and funny and even shows interest in me. He also shares a passion for flying. I just honestly don't what to do. I feel like of I have a boyfriend I shouldn't be feeling for someone else. And I also don't know if me and my boyfriend are in a healthy relationship. I want to do what's best for me in the long road. I don't want to end things with my boyfriend if we can make things work but I don't want to stick around if I'm not in a good relationship and he's not good for me. I don't want to leave someone for somebody else because that's not who I am. I honestly don't know what to do.

When I first met my boyfriend seven months ago, I was still in some contact with two guys that I hooked up with, both of which I had to see due to work related obligations. I told him that I had blocked the one guy on everything, and later on he had seen that guy in my snapchat. He knew I was lying, and had confronted me on it. I ended up telling him that I had been receiving snapchats from him, they were meaningless pictures of his dog, and that was it. He didn’t believe me and thought there was still something going on, and I understand why. I was still friends with the second guy I had hooked up with, and he questioned me about him and I told him that he was just my friend and nothing had happened which was obviously a lie. I ended up telling him I had hooked up with him, and then deleted both of them on my social media/snapchat. I ended up telling him later on after he had to dig to find out that the second guy I still had to be in contact with due to work related obligations. He already knew this about the first guy. I lied to him initially about the first guy because I just made a stupid mistake, and once I saw how intense his reactions were to finding this out, I was scared to admit to any of the other lies I had told him in the past. His reactions were warranted because I caused this, but they were explosive and scared me. This still isn’t a good excuse to lie, however that’s how I felt. Now he cannot trust me on anything, and I understand why, and is to the point where he is coming up with the idea, and is firmly believing that I cheated on him when I didn’t. I never did anything remotely close to that, but he thinks I'm lying. We had a big fight recently, and I told him I had ordered chinese at work. He misheard me and thought I said “we” ordered chinese and firmly believes that I ordered chinese with someone else. I showed him proof of the transaction in my bank history, and it was a $10 bill which is about how much one person would spend on chinese. I provided him a record of the phone call I made to order the food, and he is claiming that someone must have taken the leftovers, even though I said I threw them out because I don’t eat leftovers and he knows this. He is ready to end things with me, and I understand why but obviously don’t want this to happen and want to prove to him that he can trust me. An instance that has come up where he need to know something involving another male, I told him about immediately after fully expecting an explosive reaction but he had a great one. I have tried very hard for the past three months to show him that he can trust me, and every and any opportunity I have I give him to prove to him. He can see my location, go through my phone, knows my schedule, I don’t have any forms of social media anymore, he has access to every single thing of mine. I understand why he doesn’t trust me, but I don’t want this relationship to end because I love him more than anything and I want to fix this and show him, and continue to show him, that he can trust me. Any words of advice on building trust and trying to get him to see clearly with this whole chinese food thing? I can explain more in the comments if anybody has questions.

I have been reading a book on controlling partners and there have been clear signs that he is controlling, but even though I am more aware of his behavior, I am having a hard time distinguishing what is controlling and what isn't for the day to day stuff. I will give a few examples of what has happened in the last few weeks: 1- My husband and I want to lose weight and eat healthier. I started to cut up fruit and veggies and I made him a smoothie each day for a week. He has mostly boiled eggs and peeled them. One evening he reminded me that I hadn't made a smoothie for him yet, and I said that I need to show him how to make one. He turned to me and said "oh, I knew that was coming" - implying that I would not be making his smoothies for the long haul. I quickly replied that I was just kidding and got up and made him his lunch for the next day. 2-The other day I was cleaning the house. The last few months I have not been cleaning at all and our house is a disaster. With spring coming, I put in a good 5 hours doing laundry, wiping down the kitchen, dusting and cleaning the entry way. Our entry way was pretty grungy so I decided to wipe down everything including the window blinds. I removed the blinds and took them to the bathroom and quickly cleaned them (about 15 minutes). Later that evening, I was explaining how easy it was to clean the blinds and my husband got frustrated with me and asked me "I don't want to start a fight, but that was the most important thing to clean at this time?" I had to justify that yes it was because of the dust on the blinds, and that it would benefit us later and that I didn't take a long time on them." He dropped the discussion, but I felt criticized. 3- The other night, he asked for a glass of water...well actually he said "you should get up and get me a glass of water." I told him that he could get up, and he looked at me and said (I think jokingly) I could get up as well and get him water. I stood my ground and didn't move, but neither did he...

I have this best friend and we have a bit of history, even though we have feelings for each other, we never officially dated as there’s no future! We continued to be best friends, where we do almost everything together. Whenever any guy shows interest in me, my best friend used to get upset even though I would not be 1% interested in any of them. On the other hand, there have been women casually flirting with him which I never minded because he would never reciprocate the same interest. Now moving on to current situation, I have this new friend of mine who needed some help so I got my best friend involved and all three started figuring things out for her issues! And both of us were so worried for her that we were always talking about her and how to solve her issue! Suddenly, this new girl has stopped telling me about her problems and directly started reaching out to my friend! First I thought it’s normal but then I felt weird vibe and saw many texts b/w them which seems to be little flirtatious, they were up texting till past midnight, which is very unusual for my best friend. I got upset and asked my friend about it he told it’s nothing! When I told him that even if there is something building it would be okay as it would be selfish of me to think that he would not be interested in anyone, I just wanted to him to be honest as he had not shown interest in anyone since I met him. Then he agreed that there’s an obvious interest from both the end since they are lot similar. And if anything would have to happen he would let me know!  I don’t know how to feel about the whole thing! The new girl has completely sidelined me from a lot of the conversations, even though my best friend tries to involve me, he still thinks that there’s is nothing going on between them and it won’t be anything also in future! I don’t know, I have this weird feeling that what I am thinking is correct! I am upset due to this whole equation but don’t want to show to either one of them.

My boyfriend never shows me any affection at all. Sex is most I get & then I get no foreplay, no touching. He says that all that is dead 8n him. I need more.I got more affection from my friends with benefits. How do I tell him that I'm tired of always wondering am I attractive, is he settling, am I anything but someone who is object . I'm going crazy

Hi, I'm 18 years old, I live and grew up in the countryside. My parents were friends with neighbors from the same village. They had children my age and my sister's age. She is seven years older than me. My friend, the neighbor's daughter, is two years younger than me, her older brother is three years older than me, and the oldest, who left home quickly, is a few years older than my sister. We all met together very often when we were children, we went to school and kindergarten together. Our parents spent time together and we often played together. Mainly me and my younger friend, my sister was watching over us, and sometimes with her brother, with whom I understood more, probably because of his age. I remember those years wonderfully, although there were also some worse moments. Later I changed school to a music school, her older brother had his own company, but I still hang out with my younger friend. In the meantime, their parents had a nasty divorce and from then on everything started to go wrong. Slowly, without even noticing, I began to lose contact with my older friend. At some point, when I was 13-14, I started to like him. I dreamed about it every day and everything. We met at events, for example birthdays or village bonfires. However, we didn't talk to each other. I was having a difficult time in my life at the time, I was afraid to approach him. I was ashamed, it was my first love and I have always been shy. I told my younger friend about this infatuation and she laughed at me, although I don't know if she was happy. Later we didn't talk about it anymore, I told her that I had fallen out of love. I thought so for some time, but every time I saw him, the feeling came back. He had a girlfriend for a while, but he broke up with her because he started studying abroad. I was honestly happy then because I thought we would lose contact and I would fall out of love with him. Although I missed him, I slowly forgot. The problem was that he returned to his family every now and then for the holidays. In the meantime, my young friend had been drinking alcohol and smoking e-cigarettes for several years, and we had completely different lives and friends, which made us distance ourselves more and more. We haven't had anything to talk about lately, I miss her a lot and she seems to miss me too, but when I meet her I don't see any commitment on her part. About her brother: the last time I met him, I thought I didn't feel anything for him, but it turned out that it wasn't true. This feeling hasn't gone away and it scares me. In addition, he has a girlfriend in college. I recently got over it and talked to him. It was wonderful. I felt very natural talking to him. we even sang one song together at the party. I invited him to my birthday party on the 18th, but he couldn't come because he had classes at college. My mother and sister advise me to invite him to the class prom, which is supposed to be in January, but again I'm afraid he won't be able to. I don't have anyone to invite. I don't know whether to try or give up? 

So my gf is on the phone with her best friend (she). My gf wants me to be quiet while she is on the phone with her; within 15 min her best friend ask about me and says how is your bf; my gf responded he’s good but doesn’t tell her I’m here with her ever.

I have been best friends with this girl, who i'll name Lina, for about a year, and things were going absolutely great. But then, about 2 month ago, she got a new friend who i'll name her Regina, who she knew 3 years ago but I don't think they were friends back then. Things were fine because that girl never hung out with us, until I stupidly talked to Regina about about a thing that happend with some other girls and then we got to know each other. I didn't have much thoughts on her because I didn't know her, but as I got to know her, she had a bit of a history with changing friends and had a bad reputation, but nonetheless, she got SUPER close with Lina, and that's when I started feeling insecure. She started going around with us EVERYWHERE and hanging out with us all the time, and by some point, I started disliking her. She became super annoying and always getting me and Lina to pay for her food when we go out, although Lina seemed fine with it, I wasn't. Lina then started hanging out less and less with me and began being so distant from me, and I could feel it, she was ALWAYS with Regina and they always walk together while holding hands when they’re with me and it just made me feel so left out and like I was 3rd wheeling their friendship. So i wrote her a letter telling her everything but in a very, lets say, not a to-your-face kinds of letter, meaning I was mainly just making a joke out of everything and hinting that I didn’t like how Regina is getting between us, but of course, she didn’t understand that so she just said ‘’sorry for ditching you’’, but she kept doing it. So anyways, 2 days ago, me and my other friend, who I'll name her Haley, told Regina that we didn't want to hang out with her anymore and all she said was ‘’ok, i don’t care’’. Then 2 days go by, she posts a story on her instagram of a chat of her and her friends talking about us and calling us names (by us I mean me and haley). See by that time, I had unfollowed Regina from Instgram but one of my friends who follow her, showed me the story, I then asked my friend to send me a screenshot of Regina’s story and sent it to Lina, asking ‘’Do you know who this is about?’’, while knowing it was about me and haley. She then asked how I saw her story, and I said ‘’Don’t worry about it, but is it about me?’’ Then Lina went absolutely off on me. She said ‘’Why do u care who it’s about if you’re not her friend?’’ Keep in mind that when I asked, I was NOT trying to pick a fight with Lina, I just wanted to see if she'll be honest with me.Then I said ''I don't care but if it's about me, then I do care because she said she doesn't care and now shes posting stuff to make me look bad''. Then from then, me and Lina argued, and through out the whole argument, Lina was just defending Regina. She then asked me why I don't like Regina, and the reason was because she got in between me and Lina and I admit, I got jealous and left out, but that's not what I told Lina, I told her I didn't like her because of her personality. At the end of the argument I asked Lina ''So what are you going to do now?'' She said ''I am going to go with Regina for now because she doesn't have anyone, you have Haley you can go with her.'' Which I know is a lie because she obviously has friends (like the girl she was talking to about me and Haley in the story). Now, like I said, Regina has a bad reputation and lots of people talk bad about her and pretend nice with her, because she isn't exactly a likeable person, but somehow Lina chose to go with her. So now, I don't want to lose Lina because she is/was my best friend, but I don't know how to fix this. I also want to know if I did something wrong throughout this whole thing. I forgot to mention that Lina was also mad because I didn't tell her ''earlier'' that I didn't like Regina, and I didn't because I knew this excat situation would happen, but then I got fed up with her, so I guess I was late, but still, Lina's supposed to be my best friend and I feel betrayed. I just want things to go back to how it was before, but I don't know hot to do that.

I want to clarify that I have a strong feeling that my friend is jealous of my relationship; I just want the input of others before I jump to conclusions. I will refer to the friend as Nicole, and my boyfriend as Alex. These are the things that make me assume this about my friend: 1. Before Alex and I were dating or had any clue that he was interested in me, Nicole said out of the blue that she thought Alex had “bad intentions” with me, despite knowing him many months before I did, and constantly saying how he is the “nicest person ever.” 2. We were eating lunch together one day (we were still just friends at the time) and Alex decided to ask Nicole to join us. She randomly had a nasty attitude the whole time and was suggesting plans to hang out with Alex only in front of me. Then she abruptly left for no clear reason. 3. When I told Nicole that Alex asked me to be his girlfriend, the very first things she told me was, “I just want to let you know that I have never been interested in Alex.” 4. Nicole always gives me unwarranted advice about my relationship, saying I was immature for rushing into a relationship and hanging out with Alex, even though we waited a several months before dating. She also used to constantly inquire about my sex life with Alex, despite her saying that one her biggest pet peeves is when someone asks about her sex life. 5. Alex and I don’t do much PDA, the most we do is hold hands, give a quick hug or rest our heads on each other’s shoulders every now and then. But Nicole is the only friend who is disgusted and says that we’re being too “intimate” or conveniently has something to do which disrupts any of the PDA I mentioned above. 6. Speaking of PDA, Nicole weirdly asked to hold hands with Alex and me, and when Alex called her out, she felt offended and didn’t see anything wrong with wanting to hold my boyfriend’s hand. 7. She texts and calls Alex way more than me. Sometimes I’ll text/call Nicole and won’t get a response, only to hear a couple hours later from my boyfriend that she was texting or calling him.

So my girl friend broke up with me after 2 years she claimed I was to over protective cuz this shit had happened in the past and I wanted it keep her but I haven’t gotten over her yet so what do I do

Hi Guys I've never posted in here before but I need some advice about a situation. So my boyfriend let's call him "Tom" for this has a female friend "jade" from work. She's a very attractive girl in her 20s as all of us are. When we met this girl we weren't seeing each other at the time due to different personal reasons. We have since got back together and Jade is still around. She is very flirty with Tom and demands a lot of his attention, she texts him daily saying I'm bored let's do something and he runs after her like a little puppy. I am concerned as all of his friends have a running joke that he's "shagging" her and all call her his lass. Even tho I am his lass. Tom is the most trust worthy, loyal and honest person I have ever met and never in a million years would I think he would cheat on me. But the other day he lied about spending time with her. He ignored me all day didn't respond to my message when I asked what he had been doing he said nothing been chilling in the house but it was later uncovered he had been shopping with her and he lied to me. He states its because he was buying me a gift and didn't want me to start guessing what it is but frankly I don't belive it as he had told prior to this shopping trip he had already bought me a gift. I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone but I needed to vent. But I'm worried about what I can do. I'm so intimidated by this girl she used to be a model like she's gorgeous and I'm far from it and she has all of his mates and him wrapped round her finger and she knows it. And I have no idea how to say this to him without being "crazy". I'm never normally like this I'm so trusting especially with Tom as we have been together like 4 years now but I can't help but think there is more to this as he said to his friends when they asked if he was going to date her he said never say never and I can't get that out of my head. I don't know what to do. Sorry I needed a ramble.

I’ve been with my partner for 7 years and we have a young child together. I knew there were sexual issues early on, within the first year he just stopped showing me “that” kind of interest. I struggled with it at first. I loved him so much but he just seem to have little interest in me in that department. I brought it up a few times and he said he was consumed with work etc., but would make the effort. Nothing ever really changed. He even rejected me a few times which is devastating so I gave up in the end, just to keep hold of what little self esteem I had left. I’m now 7 years down the line and I feel broken by it. It’s unbelievable what years of abandonment and neglect can do to you. We had a huge row recently where he admitted he has this issue in every relationship he has but followed it up quickly by kinda letting me know he has no plans to address it or do anything about it. I’ve seen other posts on here from women who are in similar relationships but seem to get affection and attention from their partners. I get nothing. He doesn’t notice if I get my hair done, he never tells me I look nice, never cuddles me or kisses me. It’s a very hard way to live. I just know he doesn’t look at me that. I can feel it, Even if I try to accept it and live with it, it creeps up on me. Normally if our friends talk about their sex lives or I see something on tv, I start to feel stressed. It’s not about the sex for me, it’s about feeling desired, wanted and loved. The reason I’m posting on here today is that I’m about to leave. A decision that I’m struggling with as it will, of course, impact our child. Not only does he give me nothing in the way of affection or sexually but he’s picking on me all the time. Accusing me of saying things I’ve not said, saying I’m being horrible about people when I’m not, manipulating me using guilt to get me to spend weekends how he wants to spend them. No one else makes me feel as bad about myself as he does. I’m feeling like DIRT at the moment. I can’t work out what is going on. Is it not enough to deprive me of any romance and the hope of a loving relationship...but to criticise me constantly and imply that my personality isn’t any good on top of that? Currently we are not speaking. He drank too much the other night, became very irritating and difficult to be around (a common issue recently), but instead of admitting it the following day he has done his usual...accuse me of not being nice about people, he even made some stuff up so I’ve asked him not to talk to me. He has been doing this to me for years. In fact, I cannot think of a single time he’s taken any responsibility for anything that isn’t working in our relationship. In fact, knowing he had these sexual issues in all of his other relationships before he has blamed them on me a few times. I think that’s vile. I’m 38 years old. Am I going to agree to live by his terms when he can’t even treat me properly? What isn’t he worried I’ll leave him for someone else? If a woman deprived a man of these things she’d be waiting for him to sleep with someone else. My self esteem is shot to bits. I feel so angry that he’s stomping around currently as if I’ve treated him badly. None of the issues he seems to have with his own perception of my personality are anywhere near as huge as us having no intimate or emotional connection. I tried so hard to stop that part of our relationship from dying but he just didn’t care. What now?

My boyfriend’s female friend would like to be friends with me yet she asked him not to say to me that they slept together a few times. right or wrong. same lady wanted to rent a room of him and pay with sexual favors

I've been married for 20 years. Last year, my wife told me that she can’t give me what I want — that is, affection, intimacy, saying “I love you,” trying to make me happy, etc. She essentially wants to cohabitate and just raise our children together. She had been a stay-at-home mom our entire marriage. We haven’t slept in the same room for 15 years, even though the first couple years of our relationship we were having sex on a daily basis. Recently, she told me that she married me in part for financial security rather than love, although she gave no hint of that when we married 20 years ago. I thought that we had something very special back then. She has had frequent bouts of depression and attempted suicide a couple times before we met. She’s never had a friend for more than a couple of months, and I’m the only person in her entire life who hasn’t abandoned her (but I feel like she’s abandoning me). Her parents abandoned her, her siblings did, and my family abandoned both of us because they can’t deal with her. She’s extraordinarily beautiful physically and extremely intelligent, but she’s addicted to shopping, she’s vain, she lies, she’s a know it all, and she’s a spendthrift. She also thinks of herself first—she says that, if I love her, then I should expect nothing from her in return. I tell her that if she loves me then she should show it. She responds that she hangs out with me and that should be enough. She tells me that I’m just selfish to want more. She is not willing to go to any kind of counseling. And she tells me that she knows I will never leave her. She knows that I’m afraid of what my leaving would do to her and the children. But I don’t want to stay. My children are afraid to show affection for me because their mom doesn’t. When she leaves, they have fun with me and we wrestle and play and laugh. When she’s there, they ignore me like she does. If I tell her this, she screams at me and tells me that I’m delusional. I don’t want to stay, but I’m afraid that she’ll kill herself if I leave. I’ve watched her bang her head against the wall until she would bleed when she becomes emotional. When I threatened to leave last year during a fight, she banged her head horribly and the held a kitchen knife to her heart. I feel like I can’t leave because she could hurt herself, or she will quickly enter into an unhealthy relationship which will then end badly. My children need their mom, I want her to be healthy and happy, but I am miserable wondering if this is going to be the rest of my life with her — no affection and the cold shoulder. Any suggestions?

I'll try and not be too long winded, but want to give an honest overall picture and ideally receive candid feedback. My wife works out at a gym without me (we do different styles of fitness). Over the course of time in that gym she has developed a gym family (it's a Crossfit gym) and group of friends that for the most part doesn't extend outside of the gym. At this gym there is one male who is known to be funny and very inappropriate with comments... most of us have known that guy at one time or another. That said he is liked and tolerated at the gym there. I've been fine with it as my wife and I both know our boundaries. At one point he made a reference calling her sweet cheeks when she walked by and she in her manner admonished him without being harsh (I know that was meant for so and so not me)... She told me and I was ok with it and how it was handled. The issue came one night when me and my wife were at a bar and ran into one of her girlfriends from the gym. Her friend snapped a selfie of her and my wife and sent it in their gym group text. The guy then replied with multiple texts as follows: Wow sexy pic!.. Very sexy!! Where are y'all? She replied with location. He then stated, On my way!! The girl I'm confident realized this isn't going to go well and snapped a pic with me in it and sent it on the feed... He then replied, Oh Damn, and went silent thereafter. To include not responding to messages from the girl asking if he was on the way etc. I obviously had issue with this as it wasn't even inappropriate humor but rather an attempt to engage with my wife and direct (humorless) comments made about her. She addressed it with him the next time at the gym and he was apologetic. The issue. I told her that I do not want her to continue any level of friendship with him. Saying hello in passing etc at the gym is OK, but beyond that I do not believe is acceptable. He made an attempt to come on to her and lost that privilege. Today he text her asking how I was with a sickness I just had and I told her I would prefer she doesn't respond. He doesn't need to text her under any condition even if to check on me etc... This invoked a conversation with her and basically she believes she should be able to not make it awkward in her gym and I'd he text an innocent text reply... or have innocent conversation. ' Who is wrong here? I also should note that I feel somewhat hurt that she isn't more angry at him with the situation and feels a need to assuage an awkwardness with him rather than consider the disrespect he leveled at her and me.