I have this best friend and we have a bit of history, even though we have feelings for each other, we never officially dated as there’s no future! We continued to be best friends, where we do almost everything together. Whenever any guy shows interest in me, my best friend used to get upset even though I would not be 1% interested in any of them. On the other hand, there have been women casually flirting with him which I never minded because he would never reciprocate the same interest. Now moving on to current situation, I have this new friend of mine who needed some help so I got my best friend involved and all three started figuring things out for her issues! And both of us were so worried for her that we were always talking about her and how to solve her issue! Suddenly, this new girl has stopped telling me about her problems and directly started reaching out to my friend! First I thought it’s normal but then I felt weird vibe and saw many texts b/w them which seems to be little flirtatious, they were up texting till past midnight, which is very unusual for my best friend. I got upset and asked my friend about it he told it’s nothing! When I told him that even if there is something building it would be okay as it would be selfish of me to think that he would not be interested in anyone, I just wanted to him to be honest as he had not shown interest in anyone since I met him. Then he agreed that there’s an obvious interest from both the end since they are lot similar. And if anything would have to happen he would let me know!  I don’t know how to feel about the whole thing! The new girl has completely sidelined me from a lot of the conversations, even though my best friend tries to involve me, he still thinks that there’s is nothing going on between them and it won’t be anything also in future! I don’t know, I have this weird feeling that what I am thinking is correct! I am upset due to this whole equation but don’t want to show to either one of them.

I read an article on your site recently about a person in love with their Brother-in-law. I've been feeling the same for many years.

My boyfriend never shows me any affection at all. Sex is most I get & then I get no foreplay, no touching. He says that all that is dead 8n him. I need more.I got more affection from my friends with benefits. How do I tell him that I'm tired of always wondering am I attractive, is he settling, am I anything but someone who is object . I'm going crazy

I met this boy a few years ago. we were paired together on an english project. neother of us had any other friends in that class, so we became permanent partners. we grew close. so close that touching was normal. hugs, playful punches everyhing was normal but friendly. i didnt like him and he was getting over a breakup. i did have a crush on him for a few months but because he was still getting over his last girlfriend, i closed myself off to the possibility that he might like me. i shut off that hope and started to like someone else. however, i dont think i ever got over him. over the years, along with our friendship, i realized that i could read him so clesrly. i could sense his emotions. whenever he was sad, i woukd be too. whenever he was excited, i became excited too. it wasnt somejing that i made happen, his feelings just naturally influenced mine. this confused me, but i thought it was a best friend thig. i couldnt stand not being near him...but i had convinced myself that i liked someone else. a year later, one of his friends told me that he liked me, and i didnt know how to respond to the news i had recieved from him. i asked his friend why he didnt tell me earlier and i was so upset with myself for some reason. a gew months later, he started going out with another girl and they are now together. knowing that he is off likits, i unfollowed him from media, i stopped talking to him, and because of covid, i also didnt see him anywhere for about a year. i thought this was the best way to gwt over him. 2 days ago, i saw him again. i avoided him. he didnt see me. but as soon as i saw him, the butterflies came back, and o got upset and teary eyed. he has a loving, sweet girlfriend and theyre amazing together. i would never betray her. but he once liked me, and i think i love him. we are goi g to the same college and i know that even if i try my best i wont be able to avoid him forever. seeing him with her will break me. i dont know how else to get over him and i dont want to. there was a period of time where he broke up with his girlfriend and he started talking to me. i didnt engage because i refuse to be a rebound friend. but i cant even be in the same room as him without wanting to cry or scream or break something or blame myself for my stupidity. i dont know what to do. please help.

There is this guy I went to school, I loved him since I was nine years old and yes he loved me since then too. I moved to another town up until I was 16. I went back to stay with my granny only to found out that he still loves me and I feel the same. After our matric we went on our separete ways. When we were 29 years old we met again and started to date. And it was for three months only then, again, we went on our separate ways but by that time he has a girlfriend and a kid. Then he came back to me, he was telling me that he loved me since he was a kid, and I make him happy. But the problem started when he didn't tell me the truth about his girlfriend. He only told me that his girlfriend is cheating. He took me to his family, introduced me and told them that he wants to marry me. I wasn't ready because I was hurt on my previous relationship. So he told me that his girlfriend didn't treat him nice and she told him that he must go and find someone else. So I developed lots of feels again for him but he was lying to me. He never told me that he has another child with this girlfriend of his. When I found out, I was hurt to a point that I broke up with him. Weeks later I found out that he is staying with his girlfriend. Now should I just let him go for good or should I still wait. Cause I love him and I feel it in my heart that he's the one. I don't want to break things between him and his girlfriend.

He's my very best friend. He loves me, and I am desperately in love with him. He has a girlfriend that is not me. That kills me on the inside. I try to text him but he gives vague responses and he's told me that if he didn't have a girlfriend, we'd be together. He's admitted to wanting to kiss me, but he just seems distant. I ask him if he's trying to ignore me, but he always says no. I miss him. My heart now breaks to think of him because he's just not who he used to be. He's changed since we first met and I just need to see him, but I can't and if you don't know why, then you're oblivious to what's going on in the world. I want to call him, but he says not to call. If he says no or anything like that, I trust him and stay away so that I don't lose him forever. This relationship feels very one-sided. What do I do? As I said, I really don't want to lose him because he is the best thing in my life and really is just keeping me alive. So what is your advice, internet?

So my gf is on the phone with her best friend (she). My gf wants me to be quiet while she is on the phone with her; within 15 min her best friend ask about me and says how is your bf; my gf responded he’s good but doesn’t tell her I’m here with her ever.

I am a married man, I have a wife and 2 teens. I’ve been married for over 15 years now. My wife is a good mom, but her lack of drive for success, and the mentality of being a housewife has turned me off for many years now. I’ve had a conversation with her about 7 years ago about going out there and getting her degree to challenge herself and help the family financially, I was always met with negative responses. Asking her to get a job was somewhat insulting to her and she tends to tell me I’m to blame for because I don’t like the jobs she applied to (they were not worth the time for the money) and she refused to get a job at decent places with good benefits (like Walmart or Aldi). In any event, through the years I’ve grown professionally and financially with very little financial input from her. I’ve taken care of her parents abroad as well as mine and I feel like I’ve just been a cash cow for everyone. I’ve had numerous discussions with her about my feelings and she finally decided to go out there and get a degree (because she senses I'm going to leave her) which I’m helping pay for, but for many years now I have not been connected to her emotionally, I don’t love her anymore and many things happened between us and her family where she didn’t back me up and chose her family instead. I am only married to her because of my kids. The sex is there just to take care of our needs, we don’t even kiss. During the pandemic I started trying to improve on one of the 4 languages I speak. I met someone on a language app, we started talking, very quickly moved to video conversations and we both started developing feelings. We share many goals, aspirations, and she is the complete opposite of my wife in so many levels which just draws me to her even more. She is also married. We’ve been romantically talking for 4 years now online consistently. Her husband is a macho guy who wants her as a maid essentially, she is putting her self through school with the help of her grandfather (who dislikes her husband) and is on her way to becoming a lawyer this year. I love everything about this woman. We met in person (I had a work trip to her country). We had great conversations and made love, I felt so at home with her I couldn’t believe it. I have never felt so happy in my life, never felt like this with my wife. She has never asked me for a nickel, and she’s helped me in some many ways, I feel like a different man with her. We both want out of our marriages, but I’m afraid of hurting my kids (16 and 13) and disrupting their lives. She is willing to leave her husband for me, she too has a kid (8 years old). I also don’t want to hurt my wife, I don’t love her but I don’t also want to hurt her self esteem and she also cannot support herself financially yet as she is in school till 2024 and working 1 day week for now. She knows I don’t love her like the first day we got married, we talked about it, tried working on it for a few years but it’s no use. We are both in our 40s and I am not happy with her and I feel I’d be giving up my own happiness if I don’t pursue my life with the other woman whom I love. I also feel my wife deserves to be loved, by someone who truly feels for her, not me. I don’t know what to do.

I have been best friends with this girl, who i'll name Lina, for about a year, and things were going absolutely great. But then, about 2 month ago, she got a new friend who i'll name her Regina, who she knew 3 years ago but I don't think they were friends back then. Things were fine because that girl never hung out with us, until I stupidly talked to Regina about about a thing that happend with some other girls and then we got to know each other. I didn't have much thoughts on her because I didn't know her, but as I got to know her, she had a bit of a history with changing friends and had a bad reputation, but nonetheless, she got SUPER close with Lina, and that's when I started feeling insecure. She started going around with us EVERYWHERE and hanging out with us all the time, and by some point, I started disliking her. She became super annoying and always getting me and Lina to pay for her food when we go out, although Lina seemed fine with it, I wasn't. Lina then started hanging out less and less with me and began being so distant from me, and I could feel it, she was ALWAYS with Regina and they always walk together while holding hands when they’re with me and it just made me feel so left out and like I was 3rd wheeling their friendship. So i wrote her a letter telling her everything but in a very, lets say, not a to-your-face kinds of letter, meaning I was mainly just making a joke out of everything and hinting that I didn’t like how Regina is getting between us, but of course, she didn’t understand that so she just said ‘’sorry for ditching you’’, but she kept doing it. So anyways, 2 days ago, me and my other friend, who I'll name her Haley, told Regina that we didn't want to hang out with her anymore and all she said was ‘’ok, i don’t care’’. Then 2 days go by, she posts a story on her instagram of a chat of her and her friends talking about us and calling us names (by us I mean me and haley). See by that time, I had unfollowed Regina from Instgram but one of my friends who follow her, showed me the story, I then asked my friend to send me a screenshot of Regina’s story and sent it to Lina, asking ‘’Do you know who this is about?’’, while knowing it was about me and haley. She then asked how I saw her story, and I said ‘’Don’t worry about it, but is it about me?’’ Then Lina went absolutely off on me. She said ‘’Why do u care who it’s about if you’re not her friend?’’ Keep in mind that when I asked, I was NOT trying to pick a fight with Lina, I just wanted to see if she'll be honest with me.Then I said ''I don't care but if it's about me, then I do care because she said she doesn't care and now shes posting stuff to make me look bad''. Then from then, me and Lina argued, and through out the whole argument, Lina was just defending Regina. She then asked me why I don't like Regina, and the reason was because she got in between me and Lina and I admit, I got jealous and left out, but that's not what I told Lina, I told her I didn't like her because of her personality. At the end of the argument I asked Lina ''So what are you going to do now?'' She said ''I am going to go with Regina for now because she doesn't have anyone, you have Haley you can go with her.'' Which I know is a lie because she obviously has friends (like the girl she was talking to about me and Haley in the story). Now, like I said, Regina has a bad reputation and lots of people talk bad about her and pretend nice with her, because she isn't exactly a likeable person, but somehow Lina chose to go with her. So now, I don't want to lose Lina because she is/was my best friend, but I don't know how to fix this. I also want to know if I did something wrong throughout this whole thing. I forgot to mention that Lina was also mad because I didn't tell her ''earlier'' that I didn't like Regina, and I didn't because I knew this excat situation would happen, but then I got fed up with her, so I guess I was late, but still, Lina's supposed to be my best friend and I feel betrayed. I just want things to go back to how it was before, but I don't know hot to do that.

I want to clarify that I have a strong feeling that my friend is jealous of my relationship; I just want the input of others before I jump to conclusions. I will refer to the friend as Nicole, and my boyfriend as Alex. These are the things that make me assume this about my friend: 1. Before Alex and I were dating or had any clue that he was interested in me, Nicole said out of the blue that she thought Alex had “bad intentions” with me, despite knowing him many months before I did, and constantly saying how he is the “nicest person ever.” 2. We were eating lunch together one day (we were still just friends at the time) and Alex decided to ask Nicole to join us. She randomly had a nasty attitude the whole time and was suggesting plans to hang out with Alex only in front of me. Then she abruptly left for no clear reason. 3. When I told Nicole that Alex asked me to be his girlfriend, the very first things she told me was, “I just want to let you know that I have never been interested in Alex.” 4. Nicole always gives me unwarranted advice about my relationship, saying I was immature for rushing into a relationship and hanging out with Alex, even though we waited a several months before dating. She also used to constantly inquire about my sex life with Alex, despite her saying that one her biggest pet peeves is when someone asks about her sex life. 5. Alex and I don’t do much PDA, the most we do is hold hands, give a quick hug or rest our heads on each other’s shoulders every now and then. But Nicole is the only friend who is disgusted and says that we’re being too “intimate” or conveniently has something to do which disrupts any of the PDA I mentioned above. 6. Speaking of PDA, Nicole weirdly asked to hold hands with Alex and me, and when Alex called her out, she felt offended and didn’t see anything wrong with wanting to hold my boyfriend’s hand. 7. She texts and calls Alex way more than me. Sometimes I’ll text/call Nicole and won’t get a response, only to hear a couple hours later from my boyfriend that she was texting or calling him.

I am alone need love

I’ve been very overwhelmed and stressed the past few days. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and I believe I do love him and I appreciate him so much and how he cares for me, however we are only young and it’s been getting very intense emotions wise. We are both quite immature, and insecure in ourselves so it makes the relationship we have quite difficult for example if I go out with my friends and some guys will be there, he doesn’t like that, and we will usually get into an argument about it. This has happened quite a few times and I don’t know what to do as I feel as though I might react the same way that he does, so I don’t want to say much, however I don’t think it’s fair because seeing another guy when I’m out with my friend/friends is normal as long as I’m not doing anything with them. And I feel as though he’s put those thoughts in my head making me think that it’s not okay, because deep down I know that he shouldn’t be telling me that I can’t see boys or add boys. It’s just what makes it difficult is that I feel like if it happened to him I might feel the same. However he hadn’t done stuff like that so I don’t know, but I have. If I speak to him about it and say that I think we should be able to see our other genders without getting upset about it he just says he doesn’t want to do that so I feel as though I’m doing something wrong. It’s just hard for me because I want to be able to speak to guys and I feel like We both should, especially because we are only young our love isn’t marriage and it is possible that he will find someone better and I might. Anyway, an argument sparked the other day because I went out with my friend and some guys were there and I added one of them on Snapchat so I could be friends with him, however I didn’t tell my boyfriend and he found out and was so distraught. However I really liked that guy and I don’t know whether I have developed feeling for him, I’ve only seen him twice when I’ve gone out with a friend. I’m just stuck on what to do and I feel like I’m a bad person for liking the company and enjoying it with another guy when my boyfriend is so upset about what I’ve done. I asked my boyfriend if We should take some space apart because of what happened I need to get my head straight and basically decide what I want and I don’t want to be unloyal and stay with him when I could possibly like another guy. But he isn’t agreeing and saying that he should be the one wanting space and he thinks that I will just go off and speak to guys. I’ve been so stressed and upset. I need some advice of someone else, please help.

Hi Guys I've never posted in here before but I need some advice about a situation. So my boyfriend let's call him "Tom" for this has a female friend "jade" from work. She's a very attractive girl in her 20s as all of us are. When we met this girl we weren't seeing each other at the time due to different personal reasons. We have since got back together and Jade is still around. She is very flirty with Tom and demands a lot of his attention, she texts him daily saying I'm bored let's do something and he runs after her like a little puppy. I am concerned as all of his friends have a running joke that he's "shagging" her and all call her his lass. Even tho I am his lass. Tom is the most trust worthy, loyal and honest person I have ever met and never in a million years would I think he would cheat on me. But the other day he lied about spending time with her. He ignored me all day didn't respond to my message when I asked what he had been doing he said nothing been chilling in the house but it was later uncovered he had been shopping with her and he lied to me. He states its because he was buying me a gift and didn't want me to start guessing what it is but frankly I don't belive it as he had told prior to this shopping trip he had already bought me a gift. I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone but I needed to vent. But I'm worried about what I can do. I'm so intimidated by this girl she used to be a model like she's gorgeous and I'm far from it and she has all of his mates and him wrapped round her finger and she knows it. And I have no idea how to say this to him without being "crazy". I'm never normally like this I'm so trusting especially with Tom as we have been together like 4 years now but I can't help but think there is more to this as he said to his friends when they asked if he was going to date her he said never say never and I can't get that out of my head. I don't know what to do. Sorry I needed a ramble.

My boyfriend’s female friend would like to be friends with me yet she asked him not to say to me that they slept together a few times. right or wrong. same lady wanted to rent a room of him and pay with sexual favors

I'll try and not be too long winded, but want to give an honest overall picture and ideally receive candid feedback. My wife works out at a gym without me (we do different styles of fitness). Over the course of time in that gym she has developed a gym family (it's a Crossfit gym) and group of friends that for the most part doesn't extend outside of the gym. At this gym there is one male who is known to be funny and very inappropriate with comments... most of us have known that guy at one time or another. That said he is liked and tolerated at the gym there. I've been fine with it as my wife and I both know our boundaries. At one point he made a reference calling her sweet cheeks when she walked by and she in her manner admonished him without being harsh (I know that was meant for so and so not me)... She told me and I was ok with it and how it was handled. The issue came one night when me and my wife were at a bar and ran into one of her girlfriends from the gym. Her friend snapped a selfie of her and my wife and sent it in their gym group text. The guy then replied with multiple texts as follows: Wow sexy pic!.. Very sexy!! Where are y'all? She replied with location. He then stated, On my way!! The girl I'm confident realized this isn't going to go well and snapped a pic with me in it and sent it on the feed... He then replied, Oh Damn, and went silent thereafter. To include not responding to messages from the girl asking if he was on the way etc. I obviously had issue with this as it wasn't even inappropriate humor but rather an attempt to engage with my wife and direct (humorless) comments made about her. She addressed it with him the next time at the gym and he was apologetic. The issue. I told her that I do not want her to continue any level of friendship with him. Saying hello in passing etc at the gym is OK, but beyond that I do not believe is acceptable. He made an attempt to come on to her and lost that privilege. Today he text her asking how I was with a sickness I just had and I told her I would prefer she doesn't respond. He doesn't need to text her under any condition even if to check on me etc... This invoked a conversation with her and basically she believes she should be able to not make it awkward in her gym and I'd he text an innocent text reply... or have innocent conversation. ' Who is wrong here? I also should note that I feel somewhat hurt that she isn't more angry at him with the situation and feels a need to assuage an awkwardness with him rather than consider the disrespect he leveled at her and me.

I have failed four times at marriage, a dozen times at romantic relationships, lived with 10 different girlfriends for varying periods of time, and had sex with approximately 130 women in my lifetime. I'm not incapable of love or commitment; in fact, my relationships have almost always ended because I discovered that I was being deceived or manipulated or betrayed by my woman. Many of them, when I asked "Why did you stay with me if you thought so little of me, and didn't respect me?" said that it was because I am very attentive in bed. I have heard it enough to realize that there has to be some truth to the sentiment, but I'm struggling to find a solution, because I am in a hell that is indescribable. I'm unable to NOT be enthusiastic in bed with a woman, because, frankly, if she's in my bed, my interest is genuine, and it isn't something I can fake, or hide. I've had conversations before a relationship gets serious enough for sex, in which we both agreed that we were not looking for commitment, yet were very much down for exclusivity, so we were able to maintain our individuality and sense of independence, blah blah blah.. So, basically, my conundrum is no more than: Why can't I have great sex with a great woman, who I love a great deal, without her transforming into a possessive, jealous, manipulative liar, who claims to be IN LOVE with me, yet ultimately confesses that she was really just with me because I'm the biggest woman-worship sex freak they'd ever been with and were hesitant to let it go, thus giving up, but hated the fact that I wanted to break it off with HER when I realized that her "love" was lacking ANY respect for me, and oftentimes, for herself as well. Am I a hopeless man-whore? Am I incapable of real love? Am I unworthy of real love? Is it possible that being coerced into sexual intercourse at age six by a girl who was 16 has somehow hardwired me to be permanently FUCKED when it comes to finding real love? At the time of this writing, I've broken up with my girlfriend of six months just about an hour ago, for refusing to stop telling senseless lies to everyone in her life, among other issues. She actually said (jokingly?) to her bff "...yeah but he's got a great big ding dong so it's worth it." Just how fucking broken am I? I have avoided telling the woman I truly am in love with for seven years now, because I don't want to end a wonderful friendship, but I love her so much it is painful. We hang out almost every day. We don't hug, touch, kiss, flirt, just smoke weed and talk philosophy, play darts and listen to music, visit with other friends, things like that. How can I risk fucking all that up, just because I want to make love to her? How BROKEN am I???

I met this guy over social media on his birthday and at the time I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. We snapped a lot and I found out that we had a lot in common. I began having a crush on him but i wasn’t able to use social media for a month so I couldn’t talk to him anymore. I switched to his school a couple weeks into the new school year. I had never met him in person. At first, we never talked in person even though we had our last class in the same hallway. I eventually got enough courage to finally speak to him. He had already knew I had a crush on him over summer but we remained friends. I talked to him a lot. We walked together in between classes and I think it’s because his girlfriend didn’t go to the same school as him. I had stopped liking him but after a couple weeks I had realized I had fallen in love with him. He was so perfect to me. Even the things he was insecure about I loved. He continued to date his girlfriend and friendzone me as nicely as possible. I always had a feeling that he liked me but my friends told me that he didn’t. I was living in a fantasy. I always made scenarios in my head about him and I. My best friend felt bad for me because he knew the guy I liked didn’t like me back. I really wanted to stop liking him. I tried everything to stop liking him. I remember I would stare at pictures of him and his girlfriend and tell myself to stop liking him. I finally stopped liking him. I was really happy about that. I thought I had moved on. I had a new crush and felt fine. My new crush liked me back and I realized that I couldn’t do anything with him as I still was in love with the other guy. I still love him. No matter anything he does I still seem to love him even if he did something to hurt my feelings. I don’t know why I still like him. I’ve liked him for around 8 months. I know I shouldn’t like him. He doesn’t appreciate all of the nice things I do for him. He also has a girlfriend. But he used to give me signals all the time that would make me think that he liked me. We would go out of our way just to see each other in between classes. He would get touchy. I really don’t want to like him. He’s caused me a lot of pain. And if you think about it, he technically cheated on his girlfriend and I wouldn’t want to be with a cheater. I feel like a horrible person because I like him and I really need to appreciate him and his relationship with his girlfriend.

Me and my best friend have been friends since I met her at work. We hang out all the time and we can both agree we click and love each other. However the problem lies in that she holds feelings towards me but finds it hard to see herself in a relationship with me or any other guy. She recognises it as some kind of anxiety but cannot figure out what it is. It sucks for both of us because we both feel the same way and want to be together but don't want those things to get in the way.