I’m 22 and my boyfriend is 28 and we’ve been together for 8 months now. We are very vocal about our love for each other and very cuddly. We were very sexually actively in the first few months we were dating.
However, lately sex has gotten less and less active. He’s an electrician and works Monday-Friday 10 hour shifts so i understand if being tired and stressed is an issue. He also struggles with ED caused but his previous relationship trauma. I have been very patient and understanding. But whenever i try to bring up the lack of sex we have, he gets upset and defensive with me. He automatically assumes i think he’s bad at sex which is not true at all.
I can get him off every time orally but nowadays whenever i bring up sex, he seems like he doesn’t want to. I have tried to express my needs and desires but he never wants to listen and thinks it’s a personal attack on his ED.
I’m confident he will get over this ED problem and this insecurity may be the main reason why our sex life is dull but I’m not sure how to talk to him without him getting upset or defensive.
I have needs and wants too and i love him so much i want to make this work. I just don’t know what to do or how to communicate this with him.
Hopefully someone can help. He’s so amazing i just want him to feel the same way i do and be comfortable.