Going through a divorce can be painful, but can also be lifesaving. Life after divorce can teach you how to live to the fullest, reinvent yourself, grow, and explore new opportunities coming your way. While you might be experiencing a ton of different emotions, you'll also get the chance to focus on yourself and find peace. This is the time to try new things, go to new places, meet new people, and get rid of anything that reminds you of your past. Here is a list of freeing things you could try after your divorce. Start fresh Your life is about to change, so let yourself be guided by your intuition. It's time to rediscover yourself and embrace the unknown. Here are some strategies that can help you clean the plate and start fresh. Practice mindfulness Get into a 10-minute meditation daily routine. Find a quiet place where you can be with yourself only. After meditation, journal and let your future-self know how you felt. Practice mindfulness breathing throughout the day. Get real! Yes, life is sh*tty and might hurt, but it's time to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself, what is really happening at this moment in my life? And wait for the answer. It's most likely a positive change that can teach you an important lesson. Forget trying too hard to get over it. You need patience in order to move on. If you're trying to rush the process, nothing good will come of it. Be patient with yourself and your feelings and accept them as they come. When it's time to let them go, you will. For now, you need to feel them. At some point during this process, you'll also need to redefine your values. Most times, our values can intertwine with our partner's, and we forget who we are individually. You might want to write your values down to begin the healing process. Take care of your health Your health and energy are interdependent and should be aligned. If you're not getting better as you go through the divorce process, there's a chance you will harm your kids and other people you're close to. Not only will you make them suffer but you'll also make yourself unhappy. Stay off junk food Replace it with healthy meals. If you don't feel like cooking, ask a close friend to help you out or order healthy meals. Exercise at least three times per week This will help you feel more energized. There will be days when you really don't want to do it - this is the time to work out even harder. Keep yourself motivated Ask yourself questions. Why did this happen? What should I learn? Am I loving myself enough? What are some things I could change and how? What motivates me? Make the decision to take care of yourself and then do it. It's not going to be easy but it's definitely going to be life-changing. Challenging yourself to grow each day is fun. Start a new hobby To jump-start your new life, you want to take on new hobbies and explore new passions. You could start by learning: Yoga This is a great way to destress and let your body heal on its own. Creative arts You could pick up drawing or painting! Cooking If you're not a great cook, you could start learning now. Gardening You could start learning the art of gardening and join groups online. Traveling This will get your mind off your troubles for a long time. Career Focusing on your career can be a hobby when you love what you do. Embrace your passions and build up new skills and ways of coping with life. While a divorce might make you think you're alone, pursuing new hobbies will help you realize that you could be excited and happy again. Communicate your feelings and forgive Last but not least, it's time to explore your feelings and communicate them for closure. If enough time passed, you could write a letter to your ex and let them know what upset you during your time together, what helped you learn more about yourself, and how your life has changed since your breakup. You don't have to send them the letter, you could burn it once you're done - but writing down your feelings can help your mind and heart purify. Forgiving your ex will help you move on. Wrapping up Life after divorce can be challenging but taking these actions will help. Work on becoming a better person and explore new passions while you're at it. Stay patient and committed to your growth. Eun Rockwell is a blogger and academic writer. She likes trying new subjects and is always focused on proving her worth as a writer in new and challenging writing areas. Her hobbies are reading books and traveling.

My husband of 23 years has moved home to his parents' house. He’s angry at me because I haven’t contributed financially to the home and bills. When he first left he said, show me some small income and I’ll come home. Now he’s talking divorces. I have a small child to look after. Why is he so angry?

I am a married man, I have a wife and 2 teens. I’ve been married for over 15 years now. My wife is a good mom, but her lack of drive for success, and the mentality of being a housewife has turned me off for many years now. I’ve had a conversation with her about 7 years ago about going out there and getting her degree to challenge herself and help the family financially, I was always met with negative responses. Asking her to get a job was somewhat insulting to her and she tends to tell me I’m to blame for because I don’t like the jobs she applied to (they were not worth the time for the money) and she refused to get a job at decent places with good benefits (like Walmart or Aldi). In any event, through the years I’ve grown professionally and financially with very little financial input from her. I’ve taken care of her parents abroad as well as mine and I feel like I’ve just been a cash cow for everyone. I’ve had numerous discussions with her about my feelings and she finally decided to go out there and get a degree (because she senses I'm going to leave her) which I’m helping pay for, but for many years now I have not been connected to her emotionally, I don’t love her anymore and many things happened between us and her family where she didn’t back me up and chose her family instead. I am only married to her because of my kids. The sex is there just to take care of our needs, we don’t even kiss. During the pandemic I started trying to improve on one of the 4 languages I speak. I met someone on a language app, we started talking, very quickly moved to video conversations and we both started developing feelings. We share many goals, aspirations, and she is the complete opposite of my wife in so many levels which just draws me to her even more. She is also married. We’ve been romantically talking for 4 years now online consistently. Her husband is a macho guy who wants her as a maid essentially, she is putting her self through school with the help of her grandfather (who dislikes her husband) and is on her way to becoming a lawyer this year. I love everything about this woman. We met in person (I had a work trip to her country). We had great conversations and made love, I felt so at home with her I couldn’t believe it. I have never felt so happy in my life, never felt like this with my wife. She has never asked me for a nickel, and she’s helped me in some many ways, I feel like a different man with her. We both want out of our marriages, but I’m afraid of hurting my kids (16 and 13) and disrupting their lives. She is willing to leave her husband for me, she too has a kid (8 years old). I also don’t want to hurt my wife, I don’t love her but I don’t also want to hurt her self esteem and she also cannot support herself financially yet as she is in school till 2024 and working 1 day week for now. She knows I don’t love her like the first day we got married, we talked about it, tried working on it for a few years but it’s no use. We are both in our 40s and I am not happy with her and I feel I’d be giving up my own happiness if I don’t pursue my life with the other woman whom I love. I also feel my wife deserves to be loved, by someone who truly feels for her, not me. I don’t know what to do.

I have been together with my boyfriend for 9 plus years. We have an 8 year old together. So why will he not divorce his ex-wife? They haven't lived together for 9 years, we got involved very soonafter they split. We both have our own houses and he even move in together. He comes over am

I'm depressed every day. My husband constantly complains about me. He snaps at everything I say. He doesn’t let me speak and genuinely looks so annoyed when I speak to him. Ironically, I think he truly loves me. We don’t have sex but he’s OK with this. I’m only 44 and long to have a sexual relationship again. I’m depressed every day. My kids would never forgive me if I divorced him.

My husband and I made the decision to separate late last year and have recently moved out. He has now needed to leave town for work. Our separation came at the end of a long relationship that began 14 years ago (at 16 and 25) and has putted along, not altogether unhappily but with discontent and basically living completely separate lives for the last 5 or so years. We have one child together who is intense behaviourally and he has not been supportive of my struggles with her, so I have worked part time and managed her as best I can while he has worked full.time and pursued his own interests and hobbies at leisure, never feeling that time at home or helping with our child should be prioritised. Last year it culminated in him travelling overseas several times alone and having a relationship there which has now ended. I see this as the catalyst for ending our relationship but not necessarily the whole reason - none of it would have happened if we were happy together. I don't feel as though we have ever been able.to bring out the best in each other. When he first wanted to separate, I was sad (mainly for our daughter) but worked through those feelings, developed peace with the situation and our need to separate and some months later (officially separated but still under the same roof) very tentatively began a new relationship. After this started he backflipped and said he wanted to be back together. He thinks that he is ready to change. The relationship has been up and down basically since the beginning and I honestly feel like the best thing for both of us would be to peacefully and amicably let it go and work on reconnecting him as a parent. I am ok with the whole thing - a little sad but also excited about rediscovering old hobbies, making new friends, starting a new job and seeing how my very cautious new relationship develops now I am living alone (well, with my daughter). He is not emotionally expressive like me, is holding on to a lot of regret and sadness and is really struggling. I am really worried that he won't be ok on his own, and I still care about him deeply and this hurts me a lot. I guess what I want to know is: How do I know if we have made the right decision? Should I get back with him again, do heaps of counselling and really, really try to make it work (obviously ending the new relationship I have begun, which I would struggle with at this point) for his sake and for our daughter? My gut feeling is that if we did this we'd just be delaying the inevitable. If not, how do I help him move on from the relationship? We obviously are still communicating because of our daughter. And how do I go forth and be happy with someone new when I can't shake the feeling I've left a trail of heartbreak behind me? I know this is too long (and yet still so much is left out)! I don't really expect anyone to have the answers but any ideas or experiences would ve helpful. Thanks :)

This is a hard post to write, I’m 23, I’ve been with my partner 4 years, we have a 1 year old together our relationship went down hill since i was pregnant. Since having my daughter I seemed to have grown up and my life has changed (in a good way — exactly like it should when you have children) but his is still 90% the same, he still goes out with his friend spends most of his money etc. We’ve not had a great year a lot has happened where he’s let me down with his promises and i feel like it’s become too much. I do love him but I have a lot of anger and hurt toward him. I’ve ended it with him a few times but I always give in before he actually moves out. I don’t want to have sex or anything with him anymore, but I’m also struggling to leave him. I have a lot on my mind such as being a single parent, lonely (even though I'm not happy when he’s here) the list goes on… Last week my childhood lover (I still see him/hear of him as he’s a family friend/live in the same area) he randomly messaged me the other day as he was with one of my cousin's daughters. It’s got me thinking of him as last time I saw him he was speaking to me about him wanting to settle down and he heard that I was having a hard time and that I wasn’t happy with my partner and said when you do leave him I’ll be here if you need me. I changed the conversation as I feel like didn’t want to discuss my relationship with him . My mind is everywhere. Do I leave the father of my daughter that doesn’t make me happy at all? Will it get better ? do i stay and try to make it work? What about my childhood lover?? What if it’s too late when I leave my partner and he’s found his soulmate? I hope this makes sense as I wrote it half asleep while my thoughts was going 100 mph….

What can I do? I'm upset and sad.