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Do I leave him or make it work?

This is a hard post to write, I’m 23, I’ve been with my partner 4 years, we have a 1 year old together our relationship went down hill since i was pregnant. Since having my daughter I seemed to have grown up and my life has changed (in a good way — exactly like it should when you have children) but his is still 90% the same, he still goes out with his friend spends most of his money etc.

We’ve not had a great year a lot has happened where he’s let me down with his promises and i feel like it’s become too much. I do love him but I have a lot of anger and hurt toward him. I’ve ended it with him a few times but I always give in before he actually moves out. I don’t want to have sex or anything with him anymore, but I’m also struggling to leave him. I have a lot on my mind such as being a single parent, lonely (even though I'm not happy when he’s here) the list goes on…

Last week my childhood lover (I still see him/hear of him as he’s a family friend/live in the same area) he randomly messaged me the other day as he was with one of my cousin's daughters. It’s got me thinking of him as last time I saw him he was speaking to me about him wanting to settle down and he heard that I was having a hard time and that I wasn’t happy with my partner and said when you do leave him I’ll be here if you need me. I changed the conversation as I feel like didn’t want to discuss my relationship with him .

My mind is everywhere. Do I leave the father of my daughter that doesn’t make me happy at all? Will it get better ? do i stay and try to make it work? What about my childhood lover?? What if it’s too late when I leave my partner and he’s found his soulmate? I hope this makes sense as I wrote it half asleep while my thoughts was going 100 mph….

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