I am 42 years old and i am married for 15 years. I come from a very wealthy privileged and educated family but yet humble and appreciative and always sees good in people. I met my husband, but he lost his father and had no place no future no nothing. He grew up very poorly on a farm and was never exposed to life, guidance, education, stability. I took him under my wing and told him that I will pay for his flat and education, as long as he promised to always make sure that he is self motivated and i will help him. I never knew him long, it was 6 months and he asked my hand in marriage.
He decided to not study any longer and i had to pay it in anycase. Since that time i have been having affairs as i am not ugly, i am use to dating good looking and stable men. He has never worked since then and i have been supporting him and his liifestyle. So now i have a 13 year old son and a 2 year daughter. I push myself daily to work as much as possible and motivate myself to give my kids the life i had. This does not bother him. He lives day to day. Does not take care of himself. I am seeing other ppl and he finds out and just takes me back again. But this time i decided to take care of myself. I have sacrificed myself for such a long time and feel i deserve better. The men that i was dating during my marriage were the type of men that i would be with.
My question is, Am i being selfish? Should i leave him? I even offered to pay for his rent for a flat for him to just divorce me, so that i can be free. This has made me become so rebellious. I go out partying...meeting people and i love it. I hate feeling like a prisoner. I have taken care of my kids since they were born and he has never contributed to anything ever.
What should i do...Any suggestions