Hi I’m a 20 year old guy and I am an architecture student. I need some help. I have a loving girlfriend who loves me deeply. We’ve been together for almost 4 years. In the beginning I was unsure of our relationship but now i can say I’m in love with her and don’t know what i do without her. Despite this , i constantly think about my past relationships and past girls.
Theres this one which, we'll name her Elle , I met her when I was about 14. Quite a while but since the moment I saw her she struck me and couldn’t get her off my mind. We never really went out with each-other , but we did talk for about a year but after a while it sort of faded out cause i think she wasn’t really into me. But i never really stopped thinking about her. We live in a small village and i occasionally see her or stalk her socials but thats it. When I was 16 i met my current girlfriend and Although i like my girlfriend very much , when i look at her i don’t get the butterflies , like when I look at Elle.
Years passed and when i see Elle its like we don’t know each other anymore, since things changed, and I changed cause I was just a stupid wiener when i was 14 , no wonder she didn’t like me. Now this year she entered the same course as me. She has a boyfriend. I see her more constantly now and when I see her with him it kills me a bit inside. i cant stop thinking about her, thinking how my life would be if I would be with her. Another thing is, Elle has same prospectives as me , same life goals , same dream job , while my girlfriend is the total opposite, we dont have same hobbies really and we see life from different perspectives Elle... i cant describe how i feel when i see her ... she mesmerizes me.
But is it worth giving everything up with my girlfriend whom i have something really special with, my best friend who I know can give me everything for Elle ? For an attraction? Someone who is committed in another relationship and I don’t really know anymore. Or should i stay with my girlfriend and leave Elle in my fantasies.? My dreams? I honestly don’t know.i cant stop thinking about her sometimes i feel its eating my insides. But I’m not ready to lose my girlfriend for someone who might not be interested me. How will i know if me and Elle will click? how will i know if i will be happy with her?