Hi I’m a 20 year old guy and I am an architecture student. I need some help. I have a loving girlfriend who loves me deeply. We’ve been together for almost 4 years. In the beginning I was unsure of our relationship but now i can say I’m in love with her and don’t know what i do without her. Despite this , i constantly think about my past relationships and past girls. Theres this one which, we'll name her Elle , I met her when I was about 14. Quite a while but since the moment I saw her she struck me and couldn’t get her off my mind. We never really went out with each-other , but we did talk for about a year but after a while it sort of faded out cause i think she wasn’t really into me. But i never really stopped thinking about her. We live in a small village and i occasionally see her or stalk her socials but thats it. When I was 16 i met my current girlfriend and Although i like my girlfriend very much , when i look at her i don’t get the butterflies , like when I look at Elle. Years passed and when i see Elle its like we don’t know each other anymore, since things changed, and I changed cause I was just a stupid wiener when i was 14 , no wonder she didn’t like me. Now this year she entered the same course as me. She has a boyfriend. I see her more constantly now and when I see her with him it kills me a bit inside. i cant stop thinking about her, thinking how my life would be if I would be with her. Another thing is, Elle has same prospectives as me , same life goals , same dream job , while my girlfriend is the total opposite, we dont have same hobbies really and we see life from different perspectives Elle... i cant describe how i feel when i see her ... she mesmerizes me. But is it worth giving everything up with my girlfriend whom i have something really special with, my best friend who I know can give me everything for Elle ? For an attraction? Someone who is committed in another relationship and I don’t really know anymore. Or should i stay with my girlfriend and leave Elle in my fantasies.? My dreams? I honestly don’t know.i cant stop thinking about her sometimes i feel its eating my insides. But I’m not ready to lose my girlfriend for someone who might not be interested me. How will i know if me and Elle will click? how will i know if i will be happy with her?

Hi. I was torn between making it work and personal struggles since I feel like I want to make my relationship work, because it is at a rough patch because of my struggles. Anyway, I’ve been in a relationship now for about 3,5 years. Everything is kind of great BUT. We are both in university, that makes working on our relationship harder. When we are together I love him, I want to cuddle and we have a great connection. We have things to talk about as well since we have similar upbringing. The bedroom department has been a little on the rocks lately, since my new contraceptive method. Nevertheless I feel it is not lacking, because I voiced my feelings, he understood and the total thing has been improving since then. This is the background, now to the actual problem. The situation I am about to describe has happened multiple times, I think around 5 times. When I am living in a different place for a moment or we are apart (by distance) and a new guy approaches me I turn to a complete moron. I talk to him consistently for a couple of days or weeks and I will develop a crush for him. Then, if I haven’t done it in a first place, when I will tell him that I have a boyfriend, the guy usually drifts apart. Nothing physical happens (okay with one guy we kissed and it felt super wrong), but I think I’m emotionally cheating. And at the time I feel so distant from my boyfriend that I am always thinking of leaving him. When the crush guy leaves, I always come back to my mind and realise that I want my boyfriend and it was just a crush. It’s easier if the crush is a new person, very bad if an ex. The last time, actually today, I met with an ex, that I still think is my soulmate, we had such a blast! When I am in this moment, I feel like the "new guy" is so great that I will leave my boyfriend. The boyfriend that has been nothing but good to me. And after that I feel so stupid. Because the other guy may be talking to multiple girls, but I am willing to leave my good longterm relationship. Why am I willing to leave it so quickly? I feel like a rush of emotions and adrenaline and like I don’t even care about my boyfriend. But I do! I really care for him, but I think at some point I will do something that I regret and cannot take back. And this pattern has repeated a couple of times as mentioned.

The relationship I'm in right now has been going for nearly a year. We met through an online community about a year ago (haven't met yet and don't think we will for quite a while with the worldwide situation going on). We hung out through calls and through games but I didn't get to know him fully until last year. As I got to know him, I started to slowly develop feelings for him and from there wanted to be more with him. He's the kind of person with a lot of self-hate for no reason. With games, education or life he beats himself down constantly. He'll slam tables during games and becomes overly toxic to himself on a daily basis. I'll tell him to look at an optimistic-realist outlook and that things will turn out okay, to give it time and that I'll be here. He'll take it for that time until the next month and it goes back to the same limbo. It's hard for him to feel confident and positive about himself. His jealousy gets the best of him when nothing has occurred with anyone. I've had to put my foot down to tell him not to think of people who I consider family in that light. That he's the only one I have eyes for. It's repetitive. It feels like I have to defend myself from him thinking otherwise. It hurts. He's supportive on everything I do and wants me to push forward with my dreams and goals. He listens to everything I want to say and all the nothings too. He wants to spend all the time in the world with me too. It's great but also difficult to say no to him during these times because I'm wanting alone time. To spend time with friends or be able to play a game without him looking at my status to see what I'm up to... I've spoken to him about all of this and it feels like it goes in one ear and out the other... I want to be encouraging and supportive. To be able to cheer him up when he's down and to have him realize his positives and look at the brighter side. I want him to trust me and to feel confident in himself (not because of our relationship) but also trust in our relationship and not mention if we should break up because he thinks I don't have feelings for him anymore... Sometimes it feels like I'm holding his hand and having to guide him like a kid. A friend who I've known for a long time has popped back into my life. I ended up hurting him a few years back because of a crush we had on each other. I wasn't ready for it and called it off and he took the time away from social media as a whole to recollect himself. The final time he did this was when I told him that I'm dating my current boyfriend and he again took time away to recollect himself and I understand that.. Now this friend has come back into our friend group and into our lives. All of us (including boyfriend) plus other friends have been hanging out, making jokes, being on the same platform and all while enjoying our time together. Especially after not seeing him for so long. I've noticed that during these times I see the difference in personality and character between the two... One is more confident and a realist on things but with a positive attitude. I see how much he's matured and how he strives for improvement. I've been beating myself up about this for the past month and it hurts to even know that I'm having these thoughts. It hurts that there's even a thought about this friend while I'm dating my boyfriend and that I'm having feelings for this friend after I broke his heart once. It feels like I'm misunderstanding my feelings and maybe I'm just overly excited that he's back into my life again. I met him during a time where depression was hitting me more than ever and I was self harming. All of a sudden he brought me out of my shell and gave me that push that I needed. He's my best friend. We've always had great laughs together and want the same achievements and goals in life. All of this is confusing to me and I'm unsure of how or what to think. I'm not even sure what to expect or feeling I apologize for the novel of a post. I'm just desperate to know if I'm misinterpreting some emotions or is it something I'm really feeling but don't know how to handle. Hope you guys are having an amazing day. Stay safe and healthy.

so i just finished highschool, never had any relationship nor had any crush but few months back i had a guy on this guy n now i like him so much, i haven't talked to him yed but i got to know that he just got into a relationship with the girl i hate. I feel so hurt, i like him so much? what to do, we have some mutuals n earlier decided to talk to him, should i talk to him. Idk what to do ,I'm so hurt:(

Hi, I was texting with one guy for a half an year and never met with him cuz he was look like a boy about i always dreamed about, i was really scared, cuz my whole life was full of disappointments by ex friend family. I had really hard childhood and life, and I ve never open with someone. Finally we met and from this day we felt in love with eachother, became like a soul mates, family, best friends everything for eachother. After first meeting practically start living together, struggling with everything in foreigner country. First time in my life I opened myself to someone, told every darkness or lightness from my life, traumas, every secret. We became attached to each other, we even stay outside few times but nothing could killed our happiness we enjoyed everything together nothing make sense when we next to each other, he saw much good things to me, told that she was always dreaming about me, that i was better than most of people, i dont know words cannot explain how crazy story we had, how we trusted eachother, only there was one thing which make me to overthink and have much doubts, he was always hiding his phone too unnatural way, even panick when i ve just wanted to see time, every people in my life broke my heart and 2 years I ve just been alone fixing and building myself, finally start self love and self respect, and cuz of much reasons I took his phone, and see that he was texting with smn who in the past showed him nudes, i got angry lit bit but he explained that she was childhood friend and it was past I understand him.. Before new year i again take his phone and see that she is still sending nudes and texting him like with bf, my bf spoke so cold, but i got angry cuz when it happened first time he promise that he will not text with her, i told him if u won't text her that u have gf and she must stop flirting with u, and that he can text with her but after told her truth, he said he cannot. Finally, she is his girlfriend whom he know for 16 years 5 years they are in relationship, and he needs time to make decision, me or her, I still understand him and support him in this hard situation, but now i don't know what im doing I'd never done like that, but i can't and don't want to live without him, i see how he really suffering from start and big sorrow inside of him, that he really loves me so much and we ve never had that much close relationship, but i don't know if I'm acting correctly to myself, why I'm doing this to myself, 3days he opened with me and im suffering so much, he told me that he wanted to choose me but he need time, I m so paranoid generally especially now, as I got he is afraid to be judged from his and her family, their friends... I don't know what should I do, btw this girl is in his hometown and have not meet each other for 3 years

Seventeen months back, a week before i got into my relationship i had a 1 night stand with other girl. A week after I came into a relationship and now my so-called ex-best-friend has told her about that thing. When relationship started I never knew it would get this serious or i will fall in love with her this much in 17 months we gad are both good and bad phase but we stick through with each other in our thick n thin i dont know what should i do mow i was a way different person back then then what i m now i love her like crazy n i don’t wanna lose her but along with the truth that guy has planted many lies in her to about me which i dont know she has been avoiding me ever since n now started talking to that guy n that guy has ruined her life in the past i was his best friend he manipulated me to he even tried hitting in her last year when i was his best friend instead of confronting i just cut him of right now my girlfriend is all into his words hasn’t talked to me for 31days i m trying to contact her i just wanna tell her my side n all i want is for her to not judge me on who i was but who i m now n whatever i m its because of her cause she was the one who took me out showed me the reality of my that friend