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Bf avoiding sex

As soon as my bf and I go to bed he falls asleep and he gets up and dressed very early on the mornings we don’t even cuddle.

He looks at porn he, he stares at other women, he flirts with other women and he masturbates but never instigates any physical passion with me.

Quite often he says we’ll have sex on Saturday (for example) this feels so clinical and contrived, no spontaneity and so scheduled.

He says he has had exciting sexual experiences in the past but when I try to get a bit freaky he says he feels uncomfortable because he was falsely accused of rape many years before.

I know I have a high sex drive and there isn’t much I haven’t done in the past so I don’t want to push him into anything he isn’t comfortable with but I am feeling undesirable and unwanted. Although he isn’t aware I know other men find me attractive and I even have a friend who wants to be in a relationship with me, with sexual advances but I love him. I really don’t know what to do.

Comments 3
PokeYoEyes | 3
Both need to seek a therapist or couple counseling so that you both can sit down and try to understand each other better but mainly for your partner. Everything needs to lay flat and open and help you both get acquainted with each other’s body again but reconnect to what it once was. If that doesn’t help, then both need to know what is best for each other. He felt uncomfortable because you continue to pursue sex from him (understanding because you love him) since now you know about his last issue. I guess he doesn’t like it when you take control of certain things, but he wants to take the wheel instead since it makes him feel better. Personally, if he loves you he can pass the whole past thing (if he truly wants to, he can). Past will always come up eventually as an excuse (not excusing the trauma, it happens and I know it). I know someone who has gone through this and they moved past it. It is possible. This situation is when both of you need a serious talk about it. You have needs too, not only him. Leaving you in the dark and not being able to communicate will jeopardize the relationship. Regardless he likes it or not, this problem will come up and you two need to discuss it. Better to resolve the issues than make you feel your heart hardened and wonder why isn’t he doing this and that. Best of luck!
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Crazy-/8 | 1
I also am in the same situation, and am not sure how to handle this or what to do about it. He seems completely uninterested in me whatsoever. But says he loves me, words only go so far before i stop believing.. i dont even understand why he wants to be with me.
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PokeYoEyes | 4
In my opinion, either he doesn’t want to let go of what you guys built or something you have he wants or he hasn’t found anyone else’s to replace you. Love (to me) is nothing but a word. Not saying it isn’t real or untrue. Maybe he meant it or maybe he just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Whatever the case might be, you two also need to sit down and have a serious conversation. Not only how far you believe him when he says he loves you but how far are you going to pretend everything’s alright? You can only tolerate so much, then best you both seek professional help or talk through it. Don’t question why he wants to be with you but how far can you go through it? A healthy relationship makes two to work, and should never be one-sided.