I am so glad I found this thread but I’m horrified the amount of other men out there feeling the way I do. I thought I was alone. So sad to read these comments I feel for everyone of you!
I’ve been married to my wife 10 years together 11. Same thing here just dead marriage zero sex. I can’t sleep at night I lay awake till 3am some nights wondering why I can’t even put my arm round her without her shoving me away, we have three young kids together and she already had 3 when I got with her that I went to hell and back raising as my own while she sat on iPads or her phone over the years.
I’m literally physically and emotionally EXHAUSTED from lack of sleep dealing with the kids & dogs too as we have quite a few. She has a major issue with her phones even her own older kids have said it on many occasions she ignores me you have to say the same thing 4/5 times to even get her to look up even then she just says WHAT” like I’m annoying her by requiring conversation!
Our sex has always been okay, when we actually do it, but sine it’s been dead I’ve asked her if there’s any issues she never admits there is. She has mega foreplay from me and loves it but gives none. Not that it matters. Of course just like many of you there’s now also zero affection in the daytime, if I try cuddle her she keeps her in front of her so I’m basically cuddling around her phone like some kind of pest it hurts so badly and if I make a fuss about it all I get is “your just wanting to get your end away” “just back off I’m trying t chill” or she refers to sex as a “chore”
Any issues in our marriage any arguments it’s always my fault.not once in 11 years has she ever took the blame or changed a single thing. When i got with her she made me cut off from all my friends (I had a lot of friends) and I cannot eve have them on Facebook on the basis “they could be friends with someone I’ve slept with” because before I got with her i was on my own for 4 years and I slept with a lot of ladies, I stayed on my own on purpose after a head messing relationship before that, so I figured if I stayed on my own and learned to need NO ONE, then when I am ready to try a relationship I will not need them just want them.
I grew cold on my own, I hated affection from these one night stands I blew any of them out from wanting anything more and I stayed cold and lonely in my house, just clubbing 3 nights a week and putting it about. I admit that. It doesn’t make me untrustworthy I’ve never cheated on ANYONE and never even looked in a bad away at another woman while I’ve been with my wife! But that’s her reason t cut me off from my friends.
At the beginning of the relationship she said I was not affectionate and “trained me” to be cuddly, then when she see how I was Falling head over heals for her and dropped my guard, she then started to remove any threats so I was not allowed a phone for a couple of years, I was not allowed on my laptop until she was up so she could monitor what I was doing, I never had money, but slowly she started to allow these things i then started a successful online business and was making a lot of money working from home. She then moaned everyday that I was working to hard! So I packed that in!!!!!
Things started to go down hill the more I gave in the worse she got, she would accuse me all the time even from going to the shop up the road, if we had days out with the kids I’d have to look at the floor Becase if a good looking woman was in sight she would accuse me of looking at her and spend the whole day angry or she would smile at loads of good looking men strisght infront of me and the kids to hurt me.
So I never went anywhere I had no friends no nothing. Yet she was allowed out, she had friends she had weekends at concerts. While I baby sitted. I started to get resentful I was hurting so bad, she came home one night after drinking and we had sex… While she was on top of me she leaned down to my ear and whispered” guess what” “ I fucked someone else earlier” that was the breaker my heart felt like it had actually cracked.