Okay - so this is weird. Firstly I am a man and don't think they are too common on this site - could be wrong but of all the comments I have seen on here they seem to be from females - but I would welcome a female perspective if I try and give as balanced a view as possible without giving too much away.
I'm not sure where to start so am a little lost... So, married for 11 years, two children, live in a lovely house very close to my sister in law and parents in law - so all three houses are close together. We went through a number of goes at pregnancy and were lucky enough to have twins. My wife would like to have four children but I don't think this is going to happen as I don't want to try and bring more children into a relationship that is already fragile - she holds this against me but it just doesn't seem right.
She really really really wants more children to the point where she gets really upset when 'School mums fall unexpectedly pregnant'. I kind of say that we need to be grateful for what we have? I work full time, wife doesn't work at all - full time stay at home mum. I am really happy that I can provide for the family so she doesn't have to work but feel that she can take this for granted. I work in a pretty stressful job and also supplement my income with another company to make sure we have everything covered.
We seem to live two separate lives, even in lockdown - she stays up with the kids very late watching TV and gets up very late as well. Meanwhile I hit the sack at 10ish and up at 7.30ish having breakfast on my own etc. We don't do ANYTHING together. I have been sleeping in a separate bed for three years - couple of reasons - we had a big argument years ago but also I am overweight and so snore - I'm constantly trying to lose weight but very difficult - having a good go at it at the moment.
Because we live so close to the family and the way she smothers the children we don't get any time together. My wife has been away from the children one night in eight years (is this normal?). unfortunately I have been de-prioritsed over the years and feel like its the following order: Kids -> Dog -> Cat -> Hamsters/Goldfish (can't break those two apart). I effectively live in a house that I pay for lock stock as well as fund a rather exceptional life style for my wife which I think she takes for granted. I feel guilty because she does all the ironing and most of the cleaning - maybe I need to do more but just want to crash after a days work.
I am on the brink of moving out but such a big decision. How will the kids take it? Where will I go? The relationship is toxic - we are like two chemicals that are absolutely wonderful in isolation but put them together and you start to get a bad reaction. There is NO intimacy, no kissing, no hand holding. I mean it's as dead as a dodo! What to do? I'm going to stop now but would welcome views from the other side of the fence as honest as possible - if you have questions I'll try and answer them as well.