Unlike the biological route to parenting, adoption is never unplanned. You and your partner may have done extensive research into how adoption works – we’re here to help you consider how the adoption process will affect your relationship and how you can prepare as a couple.
No matter how joyous, every big life change presents challenges to your relationship. Becoming parents is one of the biggest, and this is no less true when adopting.
You will find that you have less time for yourself and less time to dedicate to your relationship. Your priorities will change overnight and, while it can be the most rewarding experience of your life, it can also be exhausting. You may also face some additional challenges due to the processes that you need to comply with.
Keeping the communication going can help you feel more confident as you enter the process of adoption. So, rather than seeing this as a list of things to worry about, try to see it as a list of things to talk about as you get ready for the change:
These challenges are all real possibilities but they needn’t leave you feeling disheartened. Just be aware of them and keep communicating. A big change like this can be a wonderful shared experience that allows you and your partner to figure out new ways of working together. Many couples find that becoming adoptive parents brings them closer together .
Talk about your needs, your hopes, your fears, and your dreams. The level of commitment and cooperation between you and your partner can help you feel less stressed – even in difficult times, communication can build trust .
Even when the challenges are bigger than expected, it doesn’t necessarily take away from the rewarding feelings. For most parents, adopting is a positive experience, often more rewarding than expected .
 Department for Education. (2017). Children looked after in England (including adoption), year ending 31 March 2017. Retrieved from https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/children-looked-after-in-england-including-adoption-2016-to-2017
 Goldberg, A. E., Kinkler, L. A., Moyer, A. M., & Weber, E. (2014). Intimate Relationship Challenges in Early Parenthood among Lesbian, Gay, and Heterosexual Couples Adopting via the Child Welfare System. Professional Psychology, Research and Practice, 45(4), 221–230.
 Lionetti, F., Pastore, M., & Barone, L. (2015). Parenting Stress: The Roles of Attachment States of Mind and Parenting Alliance in the Context of Adoption. Parenting, 15(2), 75–91.
 Neil, B., Young, J., Hartley, L., Sirbu, I., Morcina, M., Holmes, L., & Lushey, C. (2017). A Survey Of Adoptive Families: Following up children adopted in the Yorkshire and Humberside region. Norwich: University of East Anglia, Centre for Research on Children and Families.