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“My boyfriend is cheating on me”

Me and my bf are going to complete one year of our relationship this June. The thing from the starting of our relationship he had told me that he is friendly with girls and there is nothing to worry about. The only thing which bugged me in starting was him being connected to his exes. Two or three months back we had a fight and I told him that being connected to your ex means there is still a chance for her or you may have feelings for her but he called me "dumb" and said that "as you have studied in all girls school and university you don't know how things work, a boy can be connected to his ex, wish her happy b'day, or things like that, it does not mean he is interested in her." He was very defensive about this so I did not drag that matter.

After some months he accused me of cheating on him because I was online at 3am but I was chatting with my female friend as my boyfriend had stopped giving me his time. In lockdown, he calls once a week and we chat on whatsapp for about one hour in a whole day. He was starting to behave too weird for me as he would say he is going to sleep but his internet would be on or he would be chatting with other people except me. One day I opened his Facebook and Instagram (he has not given me his ID, I just saw him type his password so I remembered it) and I found that he was cheating on me with that girl in Facebook and Instagram. I found out that he has messaged his ex that he loves her a lot and would like to meet her.

The thing is somehow I cannot just cannot believe this. It's been two months since I know this and daily I feel pathetic. I don't even have the guts to confront this. This is my first relationship. I tried everything. I even said sorry for each and everything I didn't even do. I begged him thousands of times whenever he used to get angry, but now I feel like I have nothing left. I am 23 and my bf is if the same age.

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