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He wants other women sexually

My boyfriend and i have lived together for 5 years he is 60 and im 50.. prior to this..my husband killed himself with the guilt of a sexual romp with he had with my cousin...i was 22ys old and had a baby to him..it devastated me...my next relationship was violent and controlling ..he was gone slot but didnt care if he had a lover i just wanted to escape...i finally got away and met a habitual cheater...i had 4 children to him and i loved him...but as much as he tried to hide his extra affairs i always found out...only to be screamed at that i was crazy and jealous and a nut job..imagining it all...i spent 10 yrs doing that..he got hep c...and needed a liver transplant...for the next 8 yrs i nursed him and his dad who had dementia...i didnt think i would ever see freedom...his dad died and he got a liver and i had met a man who seemed to listen to me and care how emotionally devastated i was ...how worthless i had felt..how much of my life i had given away to care for those who had never cared for me...i told him how all i wanted in life was someone to grow old with...a true partner who wNted tobe withe...love me...and didnt want to cheat...i would clean cook love ho or and be loyal to him forever...he said he wanted that too...i allowed my self to fall in love sgain.

A tear into the relationship.. he told me he wanted a threesome it was a major fantasy...i tried to grasp me being with a women...but im no way bi sexual...i was terrified of seeing my partner touch another intimatly...he says his being honest i should respect that...yes but he mislead me in the beggining...4 yrs on..he has a profile on a few sites...he tells me its just sex...he loves me...i have never said no to him to sex ..but i cant swing or be a gang banger or spitroaster...he says there the good girls all men want...no one wants loyalty and the same women...i give up ..i said do as u need to..now he reads there profiles..and ask me what i think...im scared that im not gunna pull thru this one...

50 yrs of pain suffering and trying to do all i can for men..has been heart wrenching...how do i now sit at home and wait for him to return from other women ...he works weekdays...so im guessing they now will share hi weekends and i will get the pleasure of cooking cleaning his laundry...my mind is mess and nothing has happened as of yet...all my past is still so raw...i dont want to hurt anymore...iam i doing something wrong?or am i asking to much?.. Thanks for reading all this...

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