Hi I just want to know if I'm thinking right about all this. To cut a long story short, my daughter (16) and husband are totally at odds with each other. I love my daughter to bits but she has always been a handful. Truckloads of attitude, very highly strung, always right etc! She can also be very rude and disrespectful. I also love my husband but he does tend to be a very negative person, struggles to see the good in people / situations , and he also is very sensitive ie. Takes everything very personally. He can also be very antagonistic and quick to anger and tends to drop hints and be sarcastic rather than say straight out what his problem is. He is also quite an anxious person and seems to automatically think the worst all the time and worry unnecessarily. It used to drive me nuts but I've gotten used to it and try and ignore it now if I can. He has many good points which I prefer to concentrate on. However it drives my daughter mad. He is a great provider and is never violent but sometimes I find it hard to get close to him because of the negativity. He also doesn't take a whole lot of interest in the kids or their lives. Seems to notice every bad thing they do but rarely praises. My daughter openly tells him that she hates him and that he is a douche and that she wouldn't care if he was out of her life. Which I think is terrible and it really upsets me when she says this. But what upset me more is his reaction. In my opinion, he acts just as bad, threatening to leave, saying he isn't going to stay in a house where he is hated etc. I've tried to suggest that they talk to each other but that never goes well as neither of them ever admit they are wrong. I think they both are. My daughter is a hormonal, strong minded, determined teenager. As far as my husband is concerned, sometimes I feel like I am dealing with 2 teenagers ! I can see both points of view but whose side do I take here? I feel like the meat in the sandwich ! The constant enmity between them is really getting me down. I don't feel like I should have to choose between them but that is how I feel a lot of the time. Am I thinking right here? So confused and depressed. I just want to have a happy, functional family.

I’m beyond lost. We have an 18 months old, we struggled for years to have. She adores her daddy. He has children from a previous marriage I will lose. I found out my husband was looking to sleep with trans women before we got married. I should have left then but I didn’t. He has said over and over that he only wants a relationship with me. I’m his best friend, he loves me, etc. This is just something I can do sexually that he wants. He has gone behind my back to fulfill these needs. He says I’ve caught him every time but I’m not sure I believe that. We’ve been together for 7 years (I think) and the stress/worry has taken it’s toll. I agreed to an open relationship where he can OCCASIONALLY seek out sex with trans women. In 2 weeks he’s had sex with 3 trans women. One he brought to our home while I was out. She left her lip gloss behind (I told him this was on purpose but he doesn’t believe me). He says I didn’t say he couldn’t bring them to our home so he didn’t think it was a rule. Our baby sleeps in our bed… he didn’t even change the sheets. My mind is still spinning so I’m all over the place. Is an open relationship even possible?? I feel like I’m delaying the inevitable. I want to be in this marriage. I want it to work. I’ve explored leaving. I have 2 dogs and a cat I won’t leave. I can’t rent with my dogs. With the housing market booming I can’t afford to buy on my own. I don’t want my baby to be without her daddy. I’m so lost. He said I could sleep with women but I don’t have that desire. He’s suggested 3somes but I really don’t have that desire. My sex drive is nonexistent at this point. The lies, nursing a baby, severe hormone issues, etc. we have sex basically daily but it’s for him. He’s even gone to have sex with a trans women hours after we had sex. I have zero desire to date or find another relationship. I truly think I’ll be fine being single if this doesn’t work. I’ve been lied to/cheated on in every relationship. If I’ll single that can’t happen but I’d miss the companionship. I consider myself an LGBT+ ally. I’m struggling with the idea of him fetishizing trans women. He seems to think they would never catch feelings for him (but that girl “forgot” her lipgloss) and he would never catch feelings for them. He has said if we didn’t work he’d only be in a relationship with trans women. His family is extremely homophonic so I don’t know that I believe that. I also struggle because he’s a trump supporter… honestly that has caused the most problems in our marriage. How can you be with/be attracted to trans people and support someone who took their rights away? I realize in the grand scheme of things this seems silly but it really bothers me. Has anyone stayed in a marriage where they were open to their husband seeking out trans women? I’ve never talked about this before. I feel very alone. It’s a secret I’ve kept for 7 years! I love this man, I love his kids, and I love (most of) our life together.

I have been together with my boyfriend for 9 plus years. We have an 8 year old together. So why will he not divorce his ex-wife? They haven't lived together for 9 years, we got involved very soonafter they split. We both have our own houses and he even move in together. He comes over am

My ex-husband and I have been apart for over five years. We share a daughter who is 18 and just gone away to uni, and a son who is 15. We have always shared time with the kids very evenly and he has always supported them financially. But I am really struggling with his laid back approach to their education and studies. My daughter was always quite academic and it was always a battle to get her to study, and she has done OK. My son is less academic but has aspirations of becoming a mechanic working with boats or cars. I am trying to encourage him to put in some effort especially in Maths and English because without these grades his options will be really limited. My son thinks I just nag him and I believe his dad agrees with him, I have tried talking to my ex but he says 'don't worry, he'll be fine'. Neither will listen so I always look like the strict one. My son seems to be staying at his dad's more often... less rules, cash flows and no chores... Why wouldn't that be more appealing? I don't know how to fix this before time runs out for exams!

My wife and I have got four great kids together and last year we bought our very first house together (previously rented) which is a four-bed in need of total renovation. Since we got the keys I basically worked all day at my job and then went there until the early hours of the day until we moved in at the end of last year. My wife has always commented how we've not got anything in common for a while now and looking back at my interests I can agree that they differ from hers completely. She is one of six kids and although her family leave reasonably close, they never really help out with the kids as they either have kids of their own or they work full time/have other responsibilities. I'm an only child, I don't have a relationship with my Dad and my Mum is a professional musician so I don't see much of her but we do talk all the time so thats all good. Anyway, it was my daughters birthday last week and she wanted a garden party and as our garden was a mess, we decided to update it with some decking which yours truly did and this took up a lot of my time. On top of the house projects, we have a new puppy, which was supposed to be a family pet but has basically come down to me and my other daughter to look after. There are other things but to summarise them, my life is basically like this: With so many responsibilities, I only have Mon/Fri/Sat night free. Out of these three free nights, I've been working on the house be it inside or in the garden and i normally finish after 10pm each night. Oh yeah, and then I have to walk the dog! My wife on the other hand looks after everything else such as the cooking,cleaning, looking after the kids if i'm not there etc but her life is just as busy as mine albeit child-focused. I'm sure that when the house is all finished we'll have more time for each other but in the past year we've been out once together. I've lost touch with all my friends and she spends all her free time on facebook. She told me last night she wasn't happy with me and ended up storming off as I don't talk to her and she's lonely but from my point of view everything that takes up all my time like the decking, dance rehearsals, swimming and the dog were all sorted out by her and then she left it to me. for about 2 years she's also had minor medical niggles which have ranged from headaches, to ulcers, to tummy ache to foot ache etc and when I get home from work i hear about whats hurting her today. It's now got to the point when I don't want to talk to her as all I hear is complaining about everything. What do I do? I can't stretch myself any thinner and anything i'd consider talking to her about is either minor compared to her life or just not on common ground between us. It's hard to want to listen to someone that moans all the time about life but I don't want to break up as she's a good Mum to my kids and does a good job keeping on top of the house. We just don't click any more. Any suggestions?

I’m a first time Mam to our wonderful, happy 5 month old daughter - but am struggling to understand my husbands actions since her birth. I appreciated at first that her arrival would bring about a significant and substantial change in our dynamic and that time and talking through it would help us resettle into our new rhythm as a family. However - he has been dismissive and distant - put his needs above hers / ours. He has planned a number of imminent holidays away with his friends - spends leisure time away from the home at pubs / coffee shops when he isn’t working. When I try and raise these issues with him he tells me I’m overreacting and that this is his routine. He regularly bemoans my breastfeeding as a way of ‘stopping us’ from going out in the evenings and has continued to neglect my requests for help / support with domestic chores. When baby is ready I will of course look forward to evenings out but at this age (and as she isn’t taking a bottle) I’m not prepared to leave her with relatives and friends in the evenings or overnight. I try my best to encourage him to spend time with me in the late evenings when baby is asleep, but he just wants to camp out in front of the TV. When he is home, he pays little attention to our daughter in terms of play and will only engage with her so that he can post photos on social media. As a result - I’m lonely - frustrated and wanting desperately for him to understand how overwhelming his behaviour is becoming. I fear that he is only interested in the aesthetic of our marriage and family - and has very little interest in how we function practically as a unit. Any advice would be welcomed x

I have recently found out I am going to be a grandmother. My husband had not taken the news very well and has kicked our daughter out. She is mid twenties and is now in a homeless hostel. He won’t accept the pregnancy but can’t explain why. He just avoids the situation completely. I am now stuck in the middle between the both of them and cannot have them in the same house. How am I supposed to choose between them when I don’t feel my daughter has done anything wrong and I know my husband is struggling with lockdown but won’t admit it. Any advice please as I’m getting desperate. Thanks