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“Do I need to let go?”

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This post was published by a Click user. Please feel free to respond in the comments below. We sometimes edit posts to ensure Click is a safe, respectful place to share stories and questions.

I've been seeing a guy for over six years now... we met on a dating site. At the beginning he told me he had a friend who is female. I didn't think anything of it. I didn't see a lot of him because of his job. He works shifts and it clashed with my work on occasions. After seeing him for three months, he went on holiday with his female friend. He told me it was booked for a while, again I was OK with it. When I asked to meet this friend he always made excuses, he also invited her to family do's and not me but again made excuses that she was a family friend.

After one year passed we had our fair share of arguments about this friend, he again went away with her to the same place they went year before. I contacted her on fb to see what her relationship was with him... expecting her to say they were friends. She wanted to know who I was, had I met his family! She saw herself as his partner. After another argument he denied they were a couple, he maintained they were friends. Oh, I found out they slept in the same bed when they go away but nothing happens, and I've asked her that and she has said they don't do anything but sleep. Over the years, he's continued to go away with her. When we argue he books to go away with her then blames me. She had to sell her house about four years ago and she moved in with this guy I'm seeing... I've been over and she has her own bedroom. I don't go over much, very rarely, he comes over to me more. I've met his family and recently went away for five days to his brother's with him. He's a fab guy when he's with me and we get on so well... but when he goes home it changes and he says it doesn't, it's me!

Last year I'd had enough. I finished it completely and met someone else. He was devastated and pleaded with me to go back and he'd change even promised me we'd get engaged... I finished it with the other guy and went back... He went back on his word and all the promises he made. I even found out he'd been on two dating sites. He says he loves me and I believe he does. He went through a bad divorce, his wife left him for someone else, and he says he finds it hard to trust... I love him but I just can't cope with his lies. I don't know what he's up to when I don't see him, and with his work that can be 21 days before i see him.

Anyone got advice please?

Issues

Lies & trust

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I have this best friend and we have a bit of history, even though we have feelings for each other, we never officially dated as there’s no future! We continued to be best friends, where we do almost everything together. Whenever any guy shows interest in me, my best friend used to get upset even though I would not be 1% interested in any of them. On the other hand, there have been women casually flirting with him which I never minded because he would never reciprocate the same interest. Now moving on to current situation, I have this new friend of mine who needed some help so I got my best friend involved and all three started figuring things out for her issues! And both of us were so worried for her that we were always talking about her and how to solve her issue! Suddenly, this new girl has stopped telling me about her problems and directly started reaching out to my friend! First I thought it’s normal but then I felt weird vibe and saw many texts b/w them which seems to be little flirtatious, they were up texting till past midnight, which is very unusual for my best friend. I got upset and asked my friend about it he told it’s nothing! When I told him that even if there is something building it would be okay as it would be selfish of me to think that he would not be interested in anyone, I just wanted to him to be honest as he had not shown interest in anyone since I met him. Then he agreed that there’s an obvious interest from both the end since they are lot similar. And if anything would have to happen he would let me know! I don’t know how to feel about the whole thing! The new girl has completely sidelined me from a lot of the conversations, even though my best friend tries to involve me, he still thinks that there’s is nothing going on between them and it won’t be anything also in future! I don’t know, I have this weird feeling that what I am thinking is correct! I am upset due to this whole equation but don’t want to show to either one of them.

User article | jealousy, friends, friendship

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