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Do I leave him or make it work?

This is a hard post to write, I’m 23, I’ve been with my partner 4 years, we have a 1 year old together our relationship went down hill since i was pregnant. Since having my daughter I seemed to have grown up and my life has changed (in a good way — exactly like it should when you have children) but his is still 90% the same, he still goes out with his friend spends most of his money etc.

We’ve not had a great year a lot has happened where he’s let me down with his promises and i feel like it’s become too much. I do love him but I have a lot of anger and hurt toward him. I’ve ended it with him a few times but I always give in before he actually moves out. I don’t want to have sex or anything with him anymore, but I’m also struggling to leave him. I have a lot on my mind such as being a single parent, lonely (even though I'm not happy when he’s here) the list goes on…

Last week my childhood lover (I still see him/hear of him as he’s a family friend/live in the same area) he randomly messaged me the other day as he was with one of my cousin's daughters. It’s got me thinking of him as last time I saw him he was speaking to me about him wanting to settle down and he heard that I was having a hard time and that I wasn’t happy with my partner and said when you do leave him I’ll be here if you need me. I changed the conversation as I feel like didn’t want to discuss my relationship with him .

My mind is everywhere. Do I leave the father of my daughter that doesn’t make me happy at all? Will it get better ? do i stay and try to make it work? What about my childhood lover?? What if it’s too late when I leave my partner and he’s found his soulmate? I hope this makes sense as I wrote it half asleep while my thoughts was going 100 mph….

Comments 1
Anon-gea-54 | 2
I think you should take into careful consideration that you staying in a relationship that doesn't serve you benefits no one. It sets a bad example of what to expect from relationships for your child, and I say this as the child of a woman who stayed in more than one relationship for the sake of "providing a father figure." The kids always know, and the effect is never good. If you have the means of taking happiness, I think you should take it. He hasn't let having a baby get in the way of pursuing his life as usual, so you shouldn't let him get in the way of pursuing your life as you see fit. Usually in situations like this, what you're attached to is the old memories. How things used to be. It sounds like you're attached to familiarity, not the man himself. As for the new potential partner, I think you should be upfront about your situation, if you feel comfortable. It's less than ideal to jump into a new relationship fresh from a breakup, but the right man will understand and go at your pace. I wish you luck :)
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