I have been dating someone for nearly five years. He says he loves me. I am confused about what his idea of love is. We have been through a lot. He's put up with me when I needed help and I appreciate him for that. In that sense, yes, there is a lot of love.
One thing that is missing is what I need. He lies to me. Every so often he gets on dating apps. We are in a committed relationship. I've asked him if he wanted to be single than we should just break up. I've asked him if he wants an open relationship where we stay together but see other people. He always insists that he doesn't want to see other people and he doesn't want to break up.
In March we were staying together during COVID quarantine and my friend sent me a message saying that our friend matched with him on a dating site that day. I confronted him and he denies it. He refused to show me his phone but he did show me the app was deleted and he deactivated his profile. I told him if it happens again I am going to end the relationship because I can have anyone else but I choose him.
I moved to my place a couple weeks ago. Things seem off. Our vibe just seems like I'm talking to someone who isn't there. He's preoccupied when we are together and he's busy most of the time. I only see him when he is exhausted and ready to sleep. I found out through another friend that he is on a different dating app. She sent me the link and there he is. Except it is strange because when he is around me his profile is gone but within minutes of leaving it is back up.
I don't know how to get him to tell me the truth. He never has. It's obvious that he won't stop doing this. Last time I asked him about being on a dating site he told me that I was crazy. Thing is he really was. That's gaslighting. Anyway, I would like advice.