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“Was it grooming?”

It all began in June last year. I knew this guy, let's name him Sam, for two years but we've never talked. He was in my classes. Then I met a friend, let's call her Sarah, through a mutual friend. We became friends. We would meet and chill. For four months Sarah kept telling me all kinds of lies. Yet I believed her and helped her. I asked our mutual friend like is she okay because she said she was kidnapped? And she said everyone hated her because they found out she was lying. In my mind I was like no she cant be lying, like, we got each other gifts, we joked, she wouldn't take advantage of that. Then the mutual friend showed me proof and I was like, why lie?

So I cut her off without confronting her. I was like, no let her be. She said some mean stuff about Sam. He and Sarah were dating at the time. So I added him because I wanted to say sorry online so I was like, hey I'm sorry for wht I said, I'm not a bad person. He said no I know ur good. At this time I was yh someone who gets me and knows I'm not mean. Then we would text every now and then saying hi.

He used to message my friend and not me and I felt like the only way to get his attention was to play truth or dare so we talked and then he played. I finally felt like someone understands me. He would say it'll be fun let's play and I said ok, he must be sad so I played. He would ask me wht I'd wear to bed then he would be like rate my personality and would u date me and stuff. He would ask me to do stuff and I said no.

Then I wanted to talk to him because he got me so I did what he did even though repeatedly saying no. He wouldn't talk to me otherwise, so I did wht he wanted. I touched myself for him. I took my top off for him and I role played with him. He said let's imagine our wedding night and I said no he said it'll be fun so I said fine. Again, I did it to make him happy and for him to talk to me. He wouldn't unless I did it. He would only said hi if I said hi first, that's it.

He began saying it's our wedding night and we're in bed what do we do? Then he would be like, be my girlfriend I would say no but he kept asking so I said yes. He would say, send me a kiss emoji. I'd say why? He was like, it would be fun, so I said okay and then he said ur my gf now, we have to do stuff. He would make every convo sexual. At that point I was like, bye. He would use me because he broke up with his gf Sarah and when he would, he would only say hi and bye again after I message first hi. He ghosted me for like two months.Then I just blocked him.

He would talk to my friend and played truth or dare, that's all he would play so I thought, let's play it in order to make him happy and I was jealous because he would talk to another girl and not me after I said sorry. So I thought he hate me because that's all he plays and has sexual conversations and I went along with everything even after feeling uncomfortable because I wanted to see him happy and he called it fun. Also I wanted him to talk to me because again we were both hurt and I felt sorry for him and I wanted to keep that friendship cause he was the 1st guy friend I ever have had. 

I was uncomfortable and sometimes he would say I will help you do it. I said no and he made me do it. I still got the messages. He would ask me can I be dirty? I would say okay because that's all he would talk abt and and I wanted to keep that connection and friendship going so I went along with it. I told him to stop harassing me and he said he wasn't harassing me and made me think it was normal. He made me do the things he wanted through truth or dare even though I said no in some cases he still made me touch myself and take a pic of my shoulder to prove I took my top of. Also fantasizing abt our wedding night and how were on a bed and what do we do.

He also asked me to be his girlfriend multiple times so I said yes. He said to send him a kiss emoji and I kept saying why he said it's cute and I sent him. He also said how we have to do dirty stuff at night and to try it for him and I said no but he made me do it through truth or dare. He made me touch myself and send him proof that I took my top of so I sent him a pic of my shoulder. He asked me wht I wear to bed and if I wear a bra or not. Then once he said I wanna romance for my bday. I said I'll think abt it and he said, I'm not forcing u don't worry, after he made me do wht I said no to in the first place. I did it to keep the friendship and so he doesn't turn on me and hate me. Was it grooming? I'm 19.

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