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“Struggling to get over being cheated on”

I have been with my boyfriend just over two years. It's been the best and happiest relationship i have ever had and we moved in together early May this year. It was the best our relationship had ever been (or so I thought) and he was talking about marriage, having a family, etc. This all came crashing down when I received a message whilst we were on a couples holiday from a girl telling me that she had slept with my boyfriend a week prior.

Ever since this has happened I think I have felt every emotion in the book and it is so exhausting. I have tried having a ‘break’ from the relationship but just couldn’t do it. I feel so weak for not being able to leave and I don’t think I have fully come to terms with the fact that this person probably isn’t who i thought he was. It hasn’t helped that he lied about it for weeks until I confronted him with evidence. I don’t know whether the lies or the cheating hurt more.

The woman he cheated with is gorgeous, a stripper and older than me. I feel completely inadequate. I can’t stop wondering what it is about me that led him to do that? Why did he lie so much? How could he jeopardise a relationship like ours? I feel so low and it's affecting my daily life. I can’t sleep properly and constantly have flashbacks.

We are now three months on. I feel like I should be over this by now but I just can’t move on. I love him so much and feel like i don’t know my own identity without him and I just don’t know what to do. Any advice whatsoever would be so appreciated x

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