I have been with my boyfriend just over 2 years, its been the best and happiest relationship i have ever had and we moved in together early May this year. It was the best our relationship had ever been ( or so i thought) and he was talking about marriage, having a family etc. This all came crashing down when i received a message whilst we were on a couples holiday from a girl telling me that she had slept with my boyfriend a week prior.
Ever since this has happened i think i have felt every emotion in the book and it is so exhausting. I have tried having a ‘break’ from the relationship but just couldn’t do it. I feel so weak for not being able to leave and i don’t think i have fully come to terms with the fact that this person probably isn’t who i thought he was. It hasn’t been helped due to him lying about it for weeks until i confronted him with evidence when he finally admitted it, and i don’t know whether the lies or the cheating hurt more?
The woman he cheated with is gorgeous, a stripper and older than me and since this i feel completely inadequate. I can’t stop thinking what is it about me that led him to do that? why did he lie so much? how could he jeopardise a relationship like ours? I feel so low in myself and its affecting my daily life. I can’t sleep properly and constantly have flashbacks and we are now 3 months on.
I feel like i should be over this by now but i just can’t move on. I love him so much and feel like i don’t know my own identity without him and i just don’t know what to do. Any advice whatsoever would be so appreciated x