My boyfriend's best friend and only friend threatened to kill me a few years ago and he and my boyfriend have remained friends and now my boyfriend is trying to get me to allow him back in her home we live together so I don't know what to do I'm afraid of this guy I am don't want him around me am I wrong

My partner and I used to be so in love. Sometimes we still are. He lies to me about stupid stuff and doesn't understand the pain he causes me. He always promises it'll change and I always fall for it but it never does. He's gradually started getting more abusive. The first time he ever pushed me he cried for hours and left because he felt so guilty and now he hits me and calls me names without a care in the world it seems like. I love him and want a future with the man I used to love but lately I feel so hopeless. I don't know what to do to force him to see that I'm not going to accept this forever.

My wife has a friend whose husband saw us at a restaurant and came by to say hello. We were with my oldest daughter who is 48 yrs old from my first relationship. I caught him trying to see down her blouse and trying to rub her waist while he was talking to us. My daughter did not know him, then he went away, my daughter was upset and i told her she could have said something, she replied i never have to see him again. Since that time i have told my wife that i am not comfortable being around this guy as i don't want to say anything to him as it would probably cause problems for him and his wife. My wife still hangs with his wife but she doesn't like the fact that i don't want to hang with this couple, as the other wife of this guy is asking why i don't hang with them as a group .

So I think a bit of background first will make for a better response to my dilemma. I am a 36yr old male, who was friends with my SO (41yr old female now ex) for many years prior to us becoming romantically involved. She was one of the most caring, loyal and trustworthy people I know and no matter the situation would always be there for me. This was reciprocated whenever she needed a friend. We both had a lot of respect for each other and even though it took a long time, and waiting for the right time - there was always that undeniable attraction, so when the right time came along - we got together and it was amazing. It didn’t take long for us to move in together. It was all going great, the Covid hit. Both of us enjoy our independence and freedom, and trusted each other to be able to go out etc but know we always come back to each other at the end of the day/night. The sex was great, communication great - mostly everything was great. But Covid lockdowns meant spending a lot of time at home together. Once lockdowns finished, an old female friend who I had briefly dated prior to my relationship popped up on fb as “people you may know”. And I know it was wrong, but I reached out via dm just to say hello, it had been 4yrs since our last interaction so I was curious what she had been up to. I had no intentions initially, but this girl confessed she had always had deep feelings for me, and I stupidly decided to “catch up”. One thing led to another - and the next thing I know it was 14mths of infidelity. My SO had no idea. The energy and guilt kept building up the more I cheated. Living a double life was draining. The other woman had begun questioning why I would never to her to my place, never stayed the night and basically only ever went to her place for sex and left again. I had every opportunity to break things off with my SO, but I didn’t want to lose her. I even signed another 12 mth lease on our rental back in August 2023, still slept in same bed with her every night, made sure I checked in if she was at work etc. But in January 2024, after hours of interrogation from the other woman, I admitted I had a gf and that we lived together. She was clearly not happy about this after all my lies etc. I went home to my SO and said nothing. After no communication from the other woman for a few days, my SO woke me up one morning and threw her phone to me and said “read this”. The other woman had somehow found her number and text my SO, telling her about my cheating. My world imploded, my SO calmly asked me to get out, and balling my eyes out I decided to go to her friends house for advise (which I didn’t take) and I stupidly went to the other woman’s place and she surprisingly let me in, for the first time ever I stayed the night with her. And then my SO found out, after I lied about sleeping in my car. My SO told me to leave (in words I will not repeat), and I decided to go to the other woman’s place again. It took me 8 weeks to move out of the house I rented with my SO, and I basically ignored her msgs etc. I have never had a conversation or provided an explanation as to why I cheated. The other woman let me move straight in with her, but from the start she doesn’t trust me - tracks me to make sure I am where I say I am, won’t let me have any female friends and she has anxiety attacks when she has to go to work or I go out for fear I will cheat. Yet 7 months on, I am still here. While I have no contact with my ex, I know what I did completely destroyed her heart. About 3 months after I left, I sent one msg telling her how sorry I was and how I would never forgive myself for what I did, and also told her that I did wholeheartedly love her and missed her. So why am I still with this other woman? I know it will not last given how it started, even though I have put it up on fb I am in a relationship, I have hidden who with from my ex. I have not blocked her number, and not unfriended her. I still read her fb stories the minute I go online and see she has posted. And I know the stories are usually only for an audience of 1 - me. I so badly want to admit that I am not really happy with this other woman, and try make things right with my ex, she was my best friend. I wanted to be with her for life, I wrote her a poem about being my wife one day the week we moved in together. And I know she hasn’t moved on, and that she would give me a second chance because she makes it clear on her fb stories that she still loves me, misses me etc. I hate myself knowing she is hurting so deeply, and struggling to keep the rental with only one income now. But why am I not doing anything. So, has anyone else been in a similar situation? I don’t need any hate, I already hate myself enough. Can anyone give me advice or share their own story? Am I holding back to save face or judgement? Am I scared to hurt my new gf after what I did? I am lost.

need help am a man in his 30 in a very difficult situation . I don't know where to begin. We'll anyways b4 my current relation I was engaged with someone else who unfortunately didn't work out even tho we loved each other very much and understood each other certain things were not met. We had a beautiful daughter I was with her since birth until 8 years later I left her mom because she was always acting as if the child wasn't really mine until just a couple of month ago I found out my girl wasn't my little girl which broke my heart. Now just know I left her mom to be with someone else who I had known in high school and had a crush since high school . We got together but b4 that I spoke to the mother of my daughter and told her to change her ways b4 new years that didn't happen so I left her . I mean come on almost 10 years of bs my whole 20s went out the window like nothing . Of course other events happened and what not . Fast forward I left her still with love and attachment in my heart while I got with my current partner or w.e we are . We got with each other and this year will be 4 years . Now this is where the issue falls and let me tell you it's huge so huge that I can't seem to get out of it. B4 I got with my current partner who just gave birth to our wonderful son just 3 weeks ago . We were happy at first it was nice and rosy she gave me all I always asked and the same went to her until I saw her true nature and let me tell you there was more red flag than what China has. Now this is coming from someone who doesn't drink I do smoke weed but not anymore because of who am with and because I didn't want this to affect my son and I wanted to make some sort of sacrifice for God and myself . Anyways so with who am with little by little I found her she was a drunk, a coke user, meth user , a disrespectful woman everything a man wouldn't want in a woman she was that woman . Now she never cheated on me but did make many many actions that lead anything Similar to cheating as letting strange men in our house while I would be working disrespect me in restaurant, attack me leave me marks now listen I've fought all my life in the street and this girl left me more marks than the next Gangster on the block. Of course little by little she would cry and beg and plead for forgiveness and I as a Christian man forgave her more time than I can count but little by little I was losing love and attraction towards her and my single man style was coming out little by little to escape the pain that I was living tru . Now I made my mistakes as she has as well. Most of our issue and fights begin and always began when she drank . Which led me to change who I was . I was this really laid back fun and happy all about love and peace type of guy and a huge chunk of that died throughout the years with the mother of my son . But I never gave up on her and I would tell her change change stop with bad influence your better than this blah blah blah good things . One day I warned her that one day will come where I will lose my love for her and she will change and it happened she changed too late and I was left with misery and resentment and pain . Am not a emotional man am very logical while she is very emotional and does everything backwards. Now we have gone up and down Lived in friends houses I have lived in the streets due to her drinking and us losing our house for the second time . And she always went to casino and leave the house and.come home when she wanted after she escaped and stayed drinking for days . Of course I would just stop loving her but she had no one and.i have known her for so many years . Fast forward when we lost our second house I was trying to record music at my friend's house and I get a call from my friend telling me baby mama called her drunk with rape nonsense, not true BTW she was just drunk from drinking half a bottle of gin . I told my friend to go with me ad witness b4 we know it baby mama went crazy to where we needed to call the police they took her to a rehab center that same day the owner of the house who was also a alcoholic told me hey you need to leave today we saw what your girl did tru camera....I couldn't belive it 2nd house lost because of her . So what I do to escape from the pain I hit up a old lover who.i used to make love with when I was single , she was going tru the same with her baby daddy , we connected and made love pretty much nothing more nothing less , fast forward I Confront her about it and tell her what lead me to do what I did it was simplr I felt my sacrifice and effort and my compassion n love was not valued even when my family and friends and my father told me to save myself and leave her instill had faith . Fast forward we still stayed together infound a house of course after living at my home boy house for a few month... note this has happened 3 times. Now with this fast forward I found a house for us our first actual house not a studio or apartment. I ended up getting a amazing job and she lost her job which led me.to.work.alone for a year. We would still argue and.fight and it was usually her throwing the past and I do my best not reminding her everything she has done that led me to cheat on her . BTW just note what am writing here is still not even.half. it's way to much to write. She would still drink and what not and be so slick my God if only ppl knew... anyways am a person who can accept the wrongs I do and am not one to usually fight and argue that shit is beneath me but with her it's like she knows how to press my button. Now fast forward I got fed up and was going to leave her finally until she got pregnant

It all began in June last year. I knew this guy, let's name him Sam, for two years but we've never talked. He was in my classes. Then I met a friend, let's call her Sarah, through a mutual friend. We became friends. We would meet and chill. For four months Sarah kept telling me all kinds of lies. Yet I believed her and helped her. I asked our mutual friend like is she okay because she said she was kidnapped? And she said everyone hated her because they found out she was lying. In my mind I was like no she cant be lying, like, we got each other gifts, we joked, she wouldn't take advantage of that. Then the mutual friend showed me proof and I was like, why lie? So I cut her off without confronting her. I was like, no let her be. She said some mean stuff about Sam. He and Sarah were dating at the time. So I added him because I wanted to say sorry online so I was like, hey I'm sorry for wht I said, I'm not a bad person. He said no I know ur good. At this time I was yh someone who gets me and knows I'm not mean. Then we would text every now and then saying hi. He used to message my friend and not me and I felt like the only way to get his attention was to play truth or dare so we talked and then he played. I finally felt like someone understands me. He would say it'll be fun let's play and I said ok, he must be sad so I played. He would ask me wht I'd wear to bed then he would be like rate my personality and would u date me and stuff. He would ask me to do stuff and I said no. Then I wanted to talk to him because he got me so I did what he did even though repeatedly saying no. He wouldn't talk to me otherwise, so I did wht he wanted. I touched myself for him. I took my top off for him and I role played with him. He said let's imagine our wedding night and I said no he said it'll be fun so I said fine. Again, I did it to make him happy and for him to talk to me. He wouldn't unless I did it. He would only said hi if I said hi first, that's it. He began saying it's our wedding night and we're in bed what do we do? Then he would be like, be my girlfriend I would say no but he kept asking so I said yes. He would say, send me a kiss emoji. I'd say why? He was like, it would be fun, so I said okay and then he said ur my gf now, we have to do stuff. He would make every convo sexual. At that point I was like, bye. He would use me because he broke up with his gf Sarah and when he would, he would only say hi and bye again after I message first hi. He ghosted me for like two months.Then I just blocked him. He would talk to my friend and played truth or dare, that's all he would play so I thought, let's play it in order to make him happy and I was jealous because he would talk to another girl and not me after I said sorry. So I thought he hate me because that's all he plays and has sexual conversations and I went along with everything even after feeling uncomfortable because I wanted to see him happy and he called it fun. Also I wanted him to talk to me because again we were both hurt and I felt sorry for him and I wanted to keep that friendship cause he was the 1st guy friend I ever have had.  I was uncomfortable and sometimes he would say I will help you do it. I said no and he made me do it. I still got the messages. He would ask me can I be dirty? I would say okay because that's all he would talk abt and and I wanted to keep that connection and friendship going so I went along with it. I told him to stop harassing me and he said he wasn't harassing me and made me think it was normal. He made me do the things he wanted through truth or dare even though I said no in some cases he still made me touch myself and take a pic of my shoulder to prove I took my top of. Also fantasizing abt our wedding night and how were on a bed and what do we do. He also asked me to be his girlfriend multiple times so I said yes. He said to send him a kiss emoji and I kept saying why he said it's cute and I sent him. He also said how we have to do dirty stuff at night and to try it for him and I said no but he made me do it through truth or dare. He made me touch myself and send him proof that I took my top of so I sent him a pic of my shoulder. He asked me wht I wear to bed and if I wear a bra or not. Then once he said I wanna romance for my bday. I said I'll think abt it and he said, I'm not forcing u don't worry, after he made me do wht I said no to in the first place. I did it to keep the friendship and so he doesn't turn on me and hate me. Was it grooming? I'm 19.

I'm seeing someone I really like. I'm a 23 year old male and he's 33 years old. The thing is, it's really early days and though we get on when we are together, there is a distance between us in terms of where we live. He's really funny and cheeky and just the type of person that brings my confident side out. But when we aren't together I don't really bring myself across as a calm person. I can come across too strong and its really hard to express oneself over WhatsApp instant messaging. I just fear I could lose something that I've probably needed. I have bad trust issues, which stems from a rape that happened to me as a young person. I just need some advice on how not to come across too strong with him when we're not physically together. Thanks.

My apologies for the length here but it is a lot to cover. I have been married over 30 years. Throughout our marriage, intimacy has been an issue as it always seemed to be a burden to her and she was often unresponsive. I raised the issue many times but to no avail. In hindsight we should tried marriage counseling. However she has a phobia of doctors so therapy that she needed was out. She has self esteem issues, panic attacks and depression, which she hid the severity of till 20 years into the marriage when her mother died. You might ask why didn't I just leave? I was close several times but something always came up. One time my father had a heart attack and another my wife came down with breast cancer. The biggest reason I stayed was a cloud of fear that she would harm herself if I left. On multiple occasions she expressed she had no desire to live alarming her mother enough to share it with me. Coupled with her out of control sobbing while I was away on strike duty for 4 weeks I was convinced she would take her life if I left. She also spoke of such to our daughter who was 12 at the time. She made one apparent attempt or was sending strong signals by grabbing a bottle of pills and heading down the hall of our daughters university apartment. This was at a time we were arguing with her sister over settlement of her father's estate. Thankfully our daughter stopped her. I was not informed of either incident till months and or years later. She also was talking to her doctor during a checkup and they were alarmed enough to refuse to release her unless we agreed to go immediately to the hospital for evaluation. Let me get to the point. After surviving several years sgi she informed me the rare moments of intimacy we had experienced was no longer part of our marriage. Needless to say I was upset but gave it some time. Well, after several years I saw it was true. At age 55 she expected the rest of my life to be celebrate with her. I began chatting. There were a few casual connections but nothing serious. Finally after 3 years from her proclamation I wanted to meet one contact and ventured outside our marriage to fill that burning desire and try to experience some true passion for the first time. The chemistry was instant and we began seeing each other regularly one day a week. After a while I began working late a day or two each week and my wife began to have suspicions. Finally she confronted me. I admitted I was having an affair. She fell apart crying almost non stop, which lasted for days then weeks. But first I should that night I admitted she sent me a text threatening to harm herself if I didn't stop the affair. I firmly questioned her and determined she was acting out of emotion and not serious. Ironically a couple days later she told our son had I not been scheduled to work from home the next day she would have taken her life. Guess what? That next day while I was working from home she and our an closed out an account with out nest egg!. Given the history I still have concerns as do our grown children who agreed she should move in with our daughter for a while. During that time I went to live with my love who is the love of my life. We are very much in love and when it comes to the indicators you read about what makes a soulmate we check every box. It was wonderful to be together. We confirmed we would be great as a true full time couple. Then my wife came back, still emotional but better. I've told her I won't stop seeing my love. I'm not sure what she plans to do. She said she doesn't want a divorce and to be alone. So the question now is what to do? Do I stay and hope she will tolerate or even accept the affair or leave to gain happiness but always having that fear she might actually harm herself. She also has the kids feeling that same fear and not speaking to me. I know what I want but hate to destroy her and that fear has been planted and stoked. She has often said if anything were to happen to me she wouldn't be far behind, which reinforces my fear leaving will destroy her. And given her emotional state for the last 2 months the kids fear it too. Of course they blame me for her emotional state as they don't know the entire story and only see their mom devastated and out of control. I've learned she is emotionally fragile but apparently is thnkng about the future expressing to our son she worries she might not get a share of an upcoming pension. So it sounds like the fest may be unnecessary but still the controlled sobbing when I admitted to the affair might be nothing like if I truly leave.

im in a relationship with this Guy 1 for almost 3 years now, through ups and downs. he can easily get stressed. one day i annoyed him for 3 days telling him that he treated pretty girls better than anyone else. on the third day i guess, he yelled at me, called me cheap, bitch, pathetic and even asked me to die. he was really angry. well he used to scold me before but not that bad and he apologized. things get worsen when i caught him lying to me for more than a year, he lied about him unfollowing his ex on IG. Its not a big deal but it hurts me, I asked him multiple times and he chose to lie. Now im talking to someone new, he seems so much calmer and understanding but I just met him. Im confused. This new guy is so excited to explore life with me. But still my bf..i think he is trying to fix things but we aren’t that close anymore, I feel really disappointed about him lying to me...idk if things gonna get better. Should I just go to the new guy or otherwise..help me. Thanks

I’ve been with my significant other for over 12 years, we raise his daughter and my kids together as one family, recently I got in an argument with my daughter who’s gonna be 18 next month she left the house and lives with her abusive boyfriend. I don’t want her with him but I can do nothing about it since she denies the allegations to protect him. She recently said that my husband molested her about two times when she was little, to which I don’t understand why not tell me before. I am stuck in the middle to believe anything anymore, I never saw him once be abusive to neither kids and my daughter always called him father, last Xmas she asked him to adopt her so nothing makes sense, I’m an over thinker and I’m about to leave my relationship and stay with no daughter and no spouse cuz I don’t know what to do about it. My husband tells me to make mends with my child cuz I’m her mother but I can’t help it to feel the way I do. My daughter has made up stories in the past but I can’t help it having doubts of everything going on. Is to much to take in at once. Any advice??

Today is our 21st anniversary. Started out nice but within two hours he cursed at me like he does every day for a while now and refused to apologize for it, then he left for an hour (he snuck out drive away and cane back silently) and nothing... no anniversary card, no gift... I got ready... he never took me to dinner. He has been on a different floor ignoring me all day and night, silence. Does anyone know someone like this? I’m unhappy... with children, would love for it to work but I’m tired of the silent treatment. We rarely have sex, maybe three times a year now... we sleep seperatly most of the time now... we rarely talk this past year. He hasn’t intimately kissed me in years. I’m an attractive woman, never cheated... a great mother, and he has cheated on me once that I found out about early in our marriage. He belittled me to my children, he’s physically abused me in the first 10 years of our marriage... and he verbally and mentally assaults me daily.

I have been in my current relationship for around three years now. At the beginning he was really good and caring. But since last year he became very aggressive when we had small arguments and he always hurt my feelings. And then I met a guy at my office months back. We became very good friends and we shared our problems. He is in a relationship for nine years and he is frustrated about it. We both fall for each other. We had gone for outings and I hope we two have good chemistry in physically and mentally. And we have discussed to have this affair until January as I will get married in next year. I feel guilty about this. Pls help me.