I've been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for 3 years. For the most part I'm happy, we live together, and she pushes me forward in all aspects of life. In the first year of our relationship we had sex all the time and it was great. Second year in she started taking new medication for her skin and her sex drive vanished. With the lack of sex I sought to feel that similar feeling elsewhere, so I started back up on Tinder (US dating site) in hopes of feeling the similar dopamine effect. She eventually went through my phone while I was sleeping and saw that. She was hurt and felt that I had took advantage...we worked it out and are still together...I love her deeply but at the current point I'm no longer physically attracted to her...and we no longer have sex frequently. When we do it's not enjoyable and it's maybe 1x a month. I'm aware that sex isn't everything but I don't drink, or do drugs, so sex is like my stress reliver. At the writing of this post I've met another girl through my internship. I haven't done anything with her but it's very apparent that we are interested in each other. In reality I'd like to take a break from my current relationship or even break up. But my girlfriend suffers from depression and anxiety. I'm scared that if I come forward and tell her that I'm no longer interested that she will be stuck in a dark place. I'm lost - I know what's right and wrong but it just isn't that easy right now. 

My partner and I have been together five years and he still hasn't divorced his ex even though they have been separated for over eight years. In the early days, he said he wanted to marry me and we discussed dates and even looked at rings. His reason is always that we can't afford it as divorcing is expensive but it would be so straightforward as all financial issues were dealt with long ago. For me this should be a big priority. I worry now that marrying for a third time is just not something he is interested in. I love him deeply and want to spend the rest of my life with him but I hate the idea I am sleeping with someone else's husband every night.

I've been seeing a guy for over six years now... we met on a dating site. At the beginning he told me he had a friend who is female. I didn't think anything of it. I didn't see a lot of him because of his job. He works shifts and it clashed with my work on occasions. After seeing him for three months, he went on holiday with his female friend. He told me it was booked for a while, again I was OK with it. When I asked to meet this friend he always made excuses, he also invited her to family do's and not me but again made excuses that she was a family friend. After one year passed we had our fair share of arguments about this friend, he again went away with her to the same place they went year before. I contacted her on fb to see what her relationship was with him... expecting her to say they were friends. She wanted to know who I was, had I met his family! She saw herself as his partner. After another argument he denied they were a couple, he maintained they were friends. Oh, I found out they slept in the same bed when they go away but nothing happens, and I've asked her that and she has said they don't do anything but sleep. Over the years, he's continued to go away with her. When we argue he books to go away with her then blames me. She had to sell her house about four years ago and she moved in with this guy I'm seeing... I've been over and she has her own bedroom. I don't go over much, very rarely, he comes over to me more. I've met his family and recently went away for five days to his brother's with him. He's a fab guy when he's with me and we get on so well... but when he goes home it changes and he says it doesn't, it's me! Last year I'd had enough. I finished it completely and met someone else. He was devastated and pleaded with me to go back and he'd change even promised me we'd get engaged... I finished it with the other guy and went back... He went back on his word and all the promises he made. I even found out he'd been on two dating sites. He says he loves me and I believe he does. He went through a bad divorce, his wife left him for someone else, and he says he finds it hard to trust... I love him but I just can't cope with his lies. I don't know what he's up to when I don't see him, and with his work that can be 21 days before i see him. Anyone got advice please?

I met someone who made me feel so loved and special when they met me. At that time, I was so confident and full of happy prospects in my life. They came into my life and became so attached to me. It was the first time that I received so much affection and attention from someone, and I easily reciprocated. I cared, went out of my way, and gave them my all. Two years later, it seems I have given too much that I no longer know myself. My priorities are always second to theirs. I could always wait for them even when they never waited for me. Despite taking me for granted and making me feel so isolated, I always go back to give and forgive them even more. How did I end up to be the one who is more attached? This person only thinks of me when they are lonely. Our last conversation ended when I told them that they had completely forgotten me, and I will forget them too from now on. They responded ‘ok’ and left. I regret expressing my foolishness, as if it mattered whether they would approve my decision or not. To be honest, it doesn’t hurt me that they left as much as they coldly obliged to it. Were they just waiting for this moment? Was I such a horrible person to be with? I can barely imagine the confident and happy person that I was before I met them. I feel so caved in, antisocial and unconfident in my own shoes, as if I have failed so much. My abilities to work or operate other aspects in life has also decreased drastically. I just needed to express that here, in case someone could share their wisdom with me. Any comments would be greatly appreciated.

My wife and I have been together for 18 years and married for 5 years. We've had fights regarding her ex occasionally throughout the years. She is still in contact with her ex, which bothers me a lot. In the first few years of the relationship, she kept sending him messages and flirting with him. I found out and told her it was not right. She told me she would stop doing it. We were young. I didn't know how to deal with it and honestly I didn't care or love her as much at that time. She told me she had very happy but also bad memories of her ex, which sometimes still ache her heart when thinking about it. She said she wanted to let go of the memories. After we got married, I asked her if she could stop contacting her ex. She refused and said they were just friends and did nothing wrong. They grew up together and he understands her so well - she doesn't want to lose a good friend. She thinks that I am too sensitive and there is really no need to start a fight because of her ex. Plus she said she married me because I didn't mind she is still friends with her ex and I accepted her past. Recently, I found out that she has been using her ex’s name as her password for a bank account. She said it’s easier for her to remember it. We had a big fight again. I’m so tired of this already. I don’t know how to resolve the problem. I feel that my wife is not 100% loyal to me. She said she doesn’t want to forget the memories of him. Could anyone help me? What should I do or how can I change my mindset of not being so sensitive?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. This is my first relationship and he has been through a lot of my firsts. I’m 19 and just graduated high school. Some people take this age to have fun and experience love from different people. I met this other guy at my old job that I quit. He started talking to me first when I walked past him & honestly a part of me was attracted to him that first moment and wanted to talk to him more and more. At first he just showed interest in doing sexual things but I was starting to grow a little crush and would help him out at work because I wanted to be near him. That’s all it was until I quit. He got my number the first day we met but we never actually texted. He texted me a couple days after I quit then a week later we hung out and went to the park and to eat. This guy is 22. Now about my boyfriend and us, my boyfriend just turned 18, is very sweet towards me and doesn’t mean any harm towards me. He’s the relationship kinda guy and would rather be with just one person rather than have a bunch of girls to talk to. He only wants me and forever. He accepts me for me and we have learned to be weird together. We have our inside jokes and places that we like to eat. Everything was so good the first 3 months until I met this other guy and I slowly started to pull away from him. I’ve been hanging out with this other guy more and he likes hanging with me too. This guy doesn’t really have people to hang with, he’s anti social but he let me in. He likes hearing me talk and listens to everything I have to say when I’m talking my head off. He’s also sweet towards me and so caring. I can tell he wouldn’t let anyone hurt me and he treats me as if I was his girl. We’ve talked and I admitted I had feelings or have and he said does too and that he wants me to be his girl. I have been very hurt and confused because I have a boyfriend so I feel bad and don’t know if it’s worth breaking up with him for this other guy. Especially since my boyfriend wants me for the long run no matter what and idk if this guy would even if he says he does. Yes my heart does want this other guy. He’s beginning to be cuter to me the more we hangout and I like him for him more and more. Sigh I don’t know what to do. Breaking up with my boyfriend wouldn’t be easy. I have to let go of everything we’ve done together, seeing his parents, and the side of me he brings out. But people have broken up lots of times and got through it so I know I can too if I had too.

I have been dating a guy for over a year now. We have a great time and have never fought. We have told each other we love each other and having been spending holidays with each other’s family. Problem! His ex wife . They are the best of friends. She texts him and calls him. They were only married two years and they never had kids together. He told me they fought all the time. I have seen texts from her and him from nsayinf they love each other. She has had him to her house whom she lives with a new boyfriend and the new boyfriend so t like them around and he has never been invited back. My it is almost like she can’t let go of him. I am sick about it. My ex husband cheated on me after 17 years of marriage. I do t know how to bring this up to the new boyfriend that it bothers me without it causing a big problem. I trust him but I do not trust the feeling nor the situation. What do I do?

Hi guys, I really need your help here please as I am going desparated now. I met this guy four months ago when I was traveling to LA for my vacation. Quickly we clicked and bond together. We really enjoyed our every single moment there so we decided to keep contact and talk everyday when I came back to FL.We’re really open and transparent about our private life. I’ve never married or had a kid so everything is pretty simple from my side. He is actually still married, he and his wife submitted the divorce file and waiting for court hearing. They have 8 year old son and he’s mainly custody of the kid as his wife is flight attendant and unable to take care of the kid full time. So weeks ago he decided to bring his son with him to visit me. When his wife found out, she went crazy, they had fight, yelled to each other and she did everything to ruin his trip, acted like a bitch (as he said). Previously she was the one to control everything in their married life and he and his son have to do whatever she wants. Now since he’s with me, she may think that things are out of her control and therefore extremely upset about that. She tried everything to catch thie attention, including putting herself in trouble (like sleeping pill overdose) and my boyfriend had to be there take care of her. Eventually my boyfriend still visited me 2 days ago and they are staying with me for 2 weeks. His son is pretty a good boy but his head is packed with all the bad things from his mother about me so he’s cold to me and dislike me. And my boyfriend is too soft to his every single request, with no rule for kids and I have feeling that he’s spoiling the kid a little too much. Whatever his son asks, he follows and I haven’t seen him say no to his son during 3 days here. He came here to visit me but we hardly hold hand, hug because his son sticks around him all the time and barely talk to me though I’ve been trying to be nice. He slept with his son as well and only came to my bed at 2 or 3am and then back to his son at 6am before he woke up. I feel like I am the person who is left out in my own house, everytime his son openly talk to me, his mom called and later on, he dislike me again. I don’t really have experience with kid or dating a guy with kid so I am pretty lost here. I even feel a bit insecured because of my boyfriend’s enabling characteristic and the fact that his wife is having trouble with her boyfriend. I don’t know if it’s just my feeling or it’s common to all others who date a guy with kid. How could I do to get rid of this kind of feeling or what should I do to make this situation better, to make his son like me a bit more? Or will I have to run around and deal with his crazy wife if I still want to be with him in the future? I really appreciate your advices please

So I think a bit of background first will make for a better response to my dilemma. I am a 36yr old male, who was friends with my SO (41yr old female now ex) for many years prior to us becoming romantically involved. She was one of the most caring, loyal and trustworthy people I know and no matter the situation would always be there for me. This was reciprocated whenever she needed a friend. We both had a lot of respect for each other and even though it took a long time, and waiting for the right time - there was always that undeniable attraction, so when the right time came along - we got together and it was amazing. It didn’t take long for us to move in together. It was all going great, the Covid hit. Both of us enjoy our independence and freedom, and trusted each other to be able to go out etc but know we always come back to each other at the end of the day/night. The sex was great, communication great - mostly everything was great. But Covid lockdowns meant spending a lot of time at home together. Once lockdowns finished, an old female friend who I had briefly dated prior to my relationship popped up on fb as “people you may know”. And I know it was wrong, but I reached out via dm just to say hello, it had been 4yrs since our last interaction so I was curious what she had been up to. I had no intentions initially, but this girl confessed she had always had deep feelings for me, and I stupidly decided to “catch up”. One thing led to another - and the next thing I know it was 14mths of infidelity. My SO had no idea. The energy and guilt kept building up the more I cheated. Living a double life was draining. The other woman had begun questioning why I would never to her to my place, never stayed the night and basically only ever went to her place for sex and left again. I had every opportunity to break things off with my SO, but I didn’t want to lose her. I even signed another 12 mth lease on our rental back in August 2023, still slept in same bed with her every night, made sure I checked in if she was at work etc. But in January 2024, after hours of interrogation from the other woman, I admitted I had a gf and that we lived together. She was clearly not happy about this after all my lies etc. I went home to my SO and said nothing. After no communication from the other woman for a few days, my SO woke me up one morning and threw her phone to me and said “read this”. The other woman had somehow found her number and text my SO, telling her about my cheating. My world imploded, my SO calmly asked me to get out, and balling my eyes out I decided to go to her friends house for advise (which I didn’t take) and I stupidly went to the other woman’s place and she surprisingly let me in, for the first time ever I stayed the night with her. And then my SO found out, after I lied about sleeping in my car. My SO told me to leave (in words I will not repeat), and I decided to go to the other woman’s place again. It took me 8 weeks to move out of the house I rented with my SO, and I basically ignored her msgs etc. I have never had a conversation or provided an explanation as to why I cheated. The other woman let me move straight in with her, but from the start she doesn’t trust me - tracks me to make sure I am where I say I am, won’t let me have any female friends and she has anxiety attacks when she has to go to work or I go out for fear I will cheat. Yet 7 months on, I am still here. While I have no contact with my ex, I know what I did completely destroyed her heart. About 3 months after I left, I sent one msg telling her how sorry I was and how I would never forgive myself for what I did, and also told her that I did wholeheartedly love her and missed her. So why am I still with this other woman? I know it will not last given how it started, even though I have put it up on fb I am in a relationship, I have hidden who with from my ex. I have not blocked her number, and not unfriended her. I still read her fb stories the minute I go online and see she has posted. And I know the stories are usually only for an audience of 1 - me. I so badly want to admit that I am not really happy with this other woman, and try make things right with my ex, she was my best friend. I wanted to be with her for life, I wrote her a poem about being my wife one day the week we moved in together. And I know she hasn’t moved on, and that she would give me a second chance because she makes it clear on her fb stories that she still loves me, misses me etc. I hate myself knowing she is hurting so deeply, and struggling to keep the rental with only one income now. But why am I not doing anything. So, has anyone else been in a similar situation? I don’t need any hate, I already hate myself enough. Can anyone give me advice or share their own story? Am I holding back to save face or judgement? Am I scared to hurt my new gf after what I did? I am lost.

I am 31 years old woman with 10 years old relationship with my boyfriend. I have been 100% loyalty with my boyfriend. My physical appearance, personality and career is above average. There had been many decent guys who genuinely wanted to be with me, but I refused them all. The problem is as I am from Asian country, the couple in my country marry around the age of 28, me and my boyfriend has been together for a long time (10 years), so, my family, my relatives and my friends also asked about the marriage plan. But, from 2 years ago till now, whenever I asked about my boyfriend for the future, i mean about the marriage, he always went blank or confused and didn't answer thoroughly, and he never started the conversation about the marriage until i started or our friends asked him. (PS. We are both financially stable). When we hang out or date, we always talk about movies, work, games or funny things. From 2 years ago, I started to think like he doesn't really love me, if he only hang out me for fun and i feel guilty myself for rejecting the decent guys previously. And whenever I told my boyfriend that we need a break, he didn't accept it nor let me go. I am so stressful that my life will slowly age like this and becomes lonely. ( in my country, when you are around 35, no one interests you). And recently, I have got the feelings for the other guy. We have been known each other for months but we are not close. One day, we met at the resturant accidentally and greet each other and dined together that day. We have same likes and had really fun talking while having dinner. (I let my boyfriend know i am having dinner with that acquaintance). Another day we had our dinner together and talked about random things. After a few times we have been hang out , he said he is very happy to be with me and he has been waiting for this moment with me long ago. He said i am very beautiful like an angel and talked about the future unlike my boyfriend. Everytime we hang out, he cares me in details. He did everything sweet gestures that make me smile. Then I also start growing feelings for him. The thing is when he found out that i have boyfriend , he didn't talk to me anymore. At the current moment, 70% of my mind is always thinking about him and want to be with him and want to build a beautiful family with him. But i am also afraid being told me a cheater by the surroundings. Even if i told him that i want to be with him, will he accept me back? So, I don't know what to do. Please suggest me.

This is a hard post to write, I’m 23, I’ve been with my partner 4 years, we have a 1 year old together our relationship went down hill since i was pregnant. Since having my daughter I seemed to have grown up and my life has changed (in a good way — exactly like it should when you have children) but his is still 90% the same, he still goes out with his friend spends most of his money etc. We’ve not had a great year a lot has happened where he’s let me down with his promises and i feel like it’s become too much. I do love him but I have a lot of anger and hurt toward him. I’ve ended it with him a few times but I always give in before he actually moves out. I don’t want to have sex or anything with him anymore, but I’m also struggling to leave him. I have a lot on my mind such as being a single parent, lonely (even though I'm not happy when he’s here) the list goes on… Last week my childhood lover (I still see him/hear of him as he’s a family friend/live in the same area) he randomly messaged me the other day as he was with one of my cousin's daughters. It’s got me thinking of him as last time I saw him he was speaking to me about him wanting to settle down and he heard that I was having a hard time and that I wasn’t happy with my partner and said when you do leave him I’ll be here if you need me. I changed the conversation as I feel like didn’t want to discuss my relationship with him . My mind is everywhere. Do I leave the father of my daughter that doesn’t make me happy at all? Will it get better ? do i stay and try to make it work? What about my childhood lover?? What if it’s too late when I leave my partner and he’s found his soulmate? I hope this makes sense as I wrote it half asleep while my thoughts was going 100 mph….