Click

Relationship issues

About

Support

Where to get legal information and advice if you can’t afford a solicitor

Article | 2min read

Legal aid rules changed in April 2013, meaning most people who need a solicitor after separation or divorce must pay as a private client.

However, legal aid is still available in certain circumstances. You are entitled to legal aid if:

You are a victim of domestic abuse.
There are child protection issues.
There is a danger of your child being abducted.

There is also a limited amount of independent legal advice funded through legal aid for people who have used mediation.

Legal aid is still available for mediation

Family mediators are professionals trained to help people at any point in the separation process. They will listen to you, provide you with legal information (but not advice) and help you make informed decisions about the future.

You will usually be offered an individual one-to-one meeting, during which you can talk through your situation and discuss what to do next. It is a personalised service and the mediators can also signpost you to the specific help you need.

Using mediation alongside a solicitor can be a good way of keeping costs down.

If you do not qualify for legal aid, mediation fees are generally cheaper than using solicitors. Research shows that agreements are made more quickly than going to court [1].

You can find more information on how to contact local mediation services that offer legal aid through Resolution.

Legal aid for a solicitor

You may qualify for legal aid to see a solicitor if:

You are a victim of domestic abuse and have evidence.

If you do not qualify for legal aid, you can ask a solicitor if they offer a free half hour or a fixed fee initial meeting.

References

[1] Bourn, J (2007). Legal Services commission: Legal aid and mediation for people in family breakdown. National Audit Office. London: The Stationary Office. http://www.nao.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/0607256.pdf

Issues

Parenting apart

Recommended

Family courts: what they expect from you

Before you apply for a court order it is worth remembering that judges will expect you to have tried to agree. You and your ex have joint responsibility for working out the arrangements for your children. This duty continues when you separate, even if you have never lived together. If you can’t talk to each other, you will be expected to ask for help from a mediator or a solicitor. The court will expect each parent to put forward their case. It is the court’s duty to put the child’s welfare first. It can be hard for parents to accept that what they ask for may not be what is best for the child. What courts say is best for a child For parents to encourage the child to have a good relationship with the other parent. For parents to have a ‘good enough’ relationship with each other. For the child to spend time with both parents. The law sees it as the child’s right to have regular, personal contact unless there is a very good reason not to. In the rare cases where contact is denied, the court will have been satisfied that the child’s safety is at risk. Denial of contact is unusual and in most cases the contact ordered will be frequent and substantial, considering the child’s age and all the circumstances. In some cases, contact will be arranged on an interim basis which will be subject to review until the Court is satisfied that the amount and frequency of contact is right. Non-payment of child support is not a reason the court would consider denying contact. Summary If you want to change agreed arrangements, the court will expect you to make sure the other parent agrees first or that you have used the help of a mediator or solicitor before going to court. Experience shows that court-imposed orders tend to work less well than agreements made between parents. Court proceedings are good for restoring contact when it has stopped and increasing it when it is insufficient. However, going to court does not necessarily improve the parenting relationship, which is so important to children’s wellbeing. While family mediation offers parents a chance to improve their relationship and focus on the needs of the child, going to court tends to teach couples how to argue! Having a court order If there is a court order in place you must do what it says, even if you don’t agree with it. If you want to do something different, you must apply to the court to have it varied or discharged.

Article | legal rights, co-parenting, children

Shared care – is it the best thing for you?

Article | co-parenting, children, separation

Sorting out benefits after separation

Once you’re no longer living together, you’re classed as separated for tax and benefit purposes. Separating from your partner may mean that you become entitled to new benefits and tax credits or higher amounts of benefits than you already receive. If you or your ex-partner were claiming benefits for the family before you separated, it’s important to tell Jobcentre Plus and HM Revenue & Customs straight away. Keeping them up to date about your change in circumstances can help you avoid being overpaid or losing out on money. Qualifying for extra benefits could make a big difference to the options available to you, particularly when it comes to the cost of housing. If the parent with the main care of the children can work at least 16 hours a week, they may qualify for Working Tax Credit. This benefit can make a substantial difference to a single parent’s income, so it may be worthwhile financially if you can manage this. If you have permanently separated from your partner, you can claim benefits and tax credits as a single person immediately. If your separation is temporary or on a trial basis, you may not be able to claim these benefits while there is still a chance you may get back together. For advice and practical support with benefits and tax credits, contact your local free advice centre, such as Citizens Advice, or called the Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline free on 0808 802 0925. You can find further detailed information on page four of the factsheet 'Action to take when a relationship ends', produced by the charity Gingerbread who provide expert advice and practical support for single parents.

Article | legal rights, co-parenting

As children grow, their needs change

As children grow up and develop through different stages, they gradually become more involved in the world outside their immediate families. If you and your child's other parent are separated, you may need to review your parenting arrangements as your child's needs change. Starting nursery and school are both significant steps, usually marking the start of children developing their own social lives. By the time children reach their mid to late teens, it might seem like their friends have become more important than their family. For separated parents, life transitions like these can also trigger a need to review the childcare arrangements. If possible, it's better for children if both parents are involved in the planning and decision making around these stages and changes. Older children may want to take on part-time jobs or have weekend sleepovers at their friends’ homes. When children start school, parents need to consider that parenting time will be built around the beginning and end of the school day and term times. All parents will will also have to take responsibility for making sure homework gets done and school uniform is washed and ready for Monday morning. If your children spend part of the school week at both homes, you will find that good communication and planning are essential to keeping life easy. If you have a good co-parenting relationship, adapting the arrangements to suit your children's changing needs doesn’t have to be a big issue. If, however, you find agreeing changes with the other parent difficult and avoid discussing the need to review things, you may find things suddenly aren't working anymore. Most parenting plans have a shelf life of about two years before they need to be reviewed. Sticking rigidly to an outdated plan can be very constricting to children. Be prepared to accept that reviewing the arrangements is a normal part of sharing the joys and challenges of watching your children grow up. New parents and siblings It's common for children to become part of a new stepfamily after their parent's relationship ends. The prospect of a baby brother or sister can be exciting to children of all ages, but can also feel like a threat. If you're the other parent, you may have mixed feelings about your ex's new family but your priority should be to support your children. If you find it difficult to support your ex, try to see it as an opportunity to show goodwill by accommodating changes to arrangements around the birth of the baby and being flexible around parenting time.

Article | children, co-parenting, family

Managing a long breakup

During a breakup, many couples face the prospect of living under the same roof for some time – often for financial reasons. Your home, once a place of comfort and rest from the outside world, can become a place of anger and tension; a place where you can no longer relax. This can put a big strain on the whole family and your children will feel the effects of this unhappy atmosphere. But there are some simple things you can do to help make the situation more tolerable. The first thing is to acknowledge the stress that you’re both under and make a plan to manage the situation so that everyone feels a little bit better. Communication It may be helpful to agree to limit your conversations to practical matters. Agree a time and place for the more difficult conversations that can arise from breaking up. Keeping these two areas separate will help you to maintain a calm environment for yourselves and your children. Children Consider how you will share your parenting responsibilities. Taking it in turns to be the parent ‘on duty’ at weekends and the evenings gives you both a chance to have time off. It also gives you a chance to test out possible parenting arrangements for when you live apart. Personal time and space It may not be practical to divide up your home into separate areas but it’s important to respect each other’s privacy. Look for opportunities to go out and give each other some space – consider staying with friends or family occasionally, if this is practical. Time apart from each other gives you a chance to relax, feel normal and recharge your batteries. Make sure you both get a chance to do this from time to time. Living arrangements You may be happy to continue managing the household chores in the same way as before. However, if you do want to make changes, try to avoid misunderstandings by making sure you both understand what you are each expected to do.

Article | breakups, co-parenting, children

What is co-operative parenting?

Article | co-parenting, children, separation

Breaches of contact order arrangements

We get lots of questions about what to do when a former partner breaches contact arrangement rules. In some cases, people have found that the other parent won’t co-operate, or is late or doesn’t show up. But, of course, every case is different and the circumstances that lead a parent to breach contact arrangements change from person to person. Here, Charlotte Sherborne, an Associate at Hugh James Solicitors who specialises in family law, explains what happens if a former partner breaches contact order arrangements: One of the most difficult parts of separation for parents is agreeing on contact arrangements for the children. If an amicable arrangement can’t be achieved, many parents can then choose to go through mediation or, as a last resort, issue Children Act proceedings to ask a court to decide what should happen. Sadly, for some parents this is not the end of the story.Having obtained a court order, many parents find their former partner breaches the order, leaving them once again being denied contact with their children. What can you do if a court order is breached? If there are regular and intentional breaches of an order by a former partner then it may be necessary to bring the matter back to court and to bring enforcement proceedings. However, this should be a last resort as it only causes more friction and expense.Depending on the case and the nature of the breaches involved, the court has the power to order community service or a fine, and, in cases of the most serious and repeated breaches, a court can have the power to issue a prison sentence, although this is very rare indeed as often the parent breaching the order is also the children’s primary carer. So, what is the best approach to take? Try to sort things out amicably, get a proper understanding of your rights, manage your expectations and constantly review your child’s circumstances. This will result in the least amount of conflict. It also gives you the flexibility and goodwill that is very hard to achieve if you go through the court process. Charlotte qualified as a solicitor in 2003. Throughout her career Charlotte has worked and practised law in London, most recently at the leading niche firm Family Law in Partnership LLP. She now works at Hugh James where she specialises in Family Law, Divorce and separation, Pre-nuptials and living together.

Article | breach, legal rights

Raising a baby after a breakup

Article | separation, divorce, co-parenting

The issues surrounding shared parenting

The Dispatches programme Sharing Mum and Dad provoked a lively Twitter debate among our followers including mums, dads and legal experts. The programme saw presenter Tim Lovejoy, who is divorced with two children, try to unpick the practicalities and legal complexities of shared parenting. If controversial Government proposals go ahead, a new clause will be inserted into the Children’s Act 1989 which states: …to presume that a child’s welfare will be furthered by the involvement of each of the child’s parents in his or her life, unless it can be shown that such involvement would not in fact further the child’s welfare. The Dispatches programme was an important one in that it brought a debate that had only been happening among academics, legal experts and professionals to a much wider audience. With one in three UK children experiencing family breakdown, the programme posed the crucial question: are we doing enough? However, it set itself a tough challenge in trying to explore both the concept of shared parenting and asking if current legislation is working in just thirty minutes. The programme explained shared parenting as being the ‘alternative’ to one parent (usually the mother) being awarded sole responsibility by the courts, which ignores important aspects of the debate. The term ‘shared parenting’ can be problematic, particularly if parents interpret it to mean that they ‘get a share’ of the child. Splitting a child’s time 50/50 often places a huge amount of stress on their shoulders as it’s very hard to live in two homes and manage the practicalities of friends, school, etc. Often it is easier for a child – especially a very young child – to have their main home in one place. It is the court’s duty to do what is in the best interests of the child. While the quality of the parent-child relationship requires regular contact, equal access to both parents is always practical or in the child’s best interests – despite what parents feel. Parents should share responsibility for their children but that requires ex-partners, who are often hurt and angry, to look beyond their own needs and feelings and communicate well with each other. Separated parents need to co-operate and establish a new type of relationship with each other, focused on what is best for their children rather than themselves.

Article | shared parenting, media, legal rights

Eight tips to communicate with your ex

Article | parenting apart, co-parenting, communication

Six tips on introducing new partners

Article | new partner, parenting apart, co-parenting

Children arguing with each other

Article | children, arguments, siblings

“Non-compliant ex-partner”

My ex partner of 13 years is refusing to do any type of parenting with me. He won't communicate with me, blocked me on social media email and phone! He has my two boys who are 11 and 5 and I was happy to let them go live with him as that is what they wanted to do. I just wanted them to be happy. We were going to co-parent but he stops me seeing them, always changes arrangements, changes arrangements if anything planned, all because he does not like my friend. He doesn't like my friend as she can see he's controlling towards me and she does not back down to him, she stands her ground !! He does not like a woman to have an opinion. I have just started court process well went to miams meeting to try sort it out. I will co-parent and split weeks with him so both get equal time with the kids but somehow I do not think he's going to comply with anything. He tells the kids I don't bother to see them, contact them or anything when that is far from the truth. I have given my boy my old phone topped up so we have contact that way * he accuses me of all kinds of spiteful stuff saying I'm mental, I'm a druggy, and I live in a dump which all are lies. None of the things he says applies to me at all.

User article | co-parenting, contact

“Court orders”

My son is 12 and my daughter is nearly 16 They do not want what is being proposed my by ex husband in court. They don't want to tell him but he thinks I'm putting them off staying with him. What is the process?

User article | co-parenting, contact

Resilience for kids with a speech impairment

Article | disability, children

“Contact centres”

Overwhelmed by legal system and now told no legal aid.

User article | co-parenting, contact

“Lying about his financial situation”

I'm a 23-year-old law student working as a paid legal intern, he's a 27-year-old businessman. We've met through an online dating site and have been together for a year now. I have no love left for him anymore as I'm starting to resent him for lying to me about his financial situation. At the beginning when we started dating, I assumed he had a steady income and financial stability. We talked briefly about his line of work, since it was relatively obscure, and I didn't probe much into the matter about how his business is doing. Four months into the relationship, I noticed changes in his behavior when it came to going out or eating out – he suddenly started complaining about how much we were spending weekly, even though it was much less than what we'd spent in the early stages of our relationship, and started talking about the financial hardships he went through to make the point that I should be grateful and appreciative over being taken out for brunch. I was really shocked at this since he never acted like this in the beginning. After I talked to him about this, he admitted he has no yearly income and is living off his savings until his business settlement is cleared (he has no idea when it'll be cleared). He had initially bragged to me about his ample savings account and now he claims he actually only has one tenth of that! To make matters worse, he has pending child support payments to an ex who he had a child with. (I was also not made aware of his out-of-wedlock kid when I met him. I've only recently found out about it by accident when he left an old birthday card addressed to his daughter on the dinner table.) I feel so betrayed and angry, I just felt the need to vent. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

Ask the community | finance, children, ex-partner

“Custody of my children”

My ex is keeping my children away from me. I’m their mother, can he do this?

Ask the community | breach, legal rights

“Post-16 court contact”

We have had a court order in place for a number of years. The children have never missed a contact; however they are now 16 and 15 and have made it clear to me that they are "fed up" with spending their time with someone who – apparently – has little to say to them, and makes nasty comments to the kids all the time when he does open his mouth. It is almost as if the contact order is just being observed to serve his need to control them – it doesn't seem to be about spending quality time with two kids who are brilliant company. The kids have said that once the younger son gets to 16, they "are done" – I have told them things will get better, but after six years of this contact and support from me, encouragement and assurances it will get better, it just hasn't. It breaks my heart to see how angry they get when they come back and have had an unsuccessful contact. I am at a loss, and my ex will not speak to me (only via solicitors and hasn't spoken to me for over eight years). If they tell him they no longer wish to go, can I be dragged back to court? Should this come from them to him? I doubt he will listen as they have asked before for things to improve with him and he just laughs at them and says they are idiots. One time my elder son was poorly during contact and had asked to go home earlier; he refused and made them stay until the appointed time. My eldest is about to turn 17 and will be driving soon. He wishes to get a Saturday job, and this will prove impossible – the Court Order clearly states a Saturday, and we have persistently re-jigged our lives to make sure they attend (which we do because I want them to have a positive male role model). I am also bitterly disappointed that this could have been seen as a chance for my ex to build a lovely relationship with his kids, but seems to have used it as a controlling mechanism instead. I would have expected them to say they were having a great time and ask that they have extra time - which would have been great, but it just hasn't happened. I see other kids who have a great time with their dads and my heart bleeds for them. I never badmouth or speak ill of my ex – it was a shame it didn't work out, but the kids did not need to suffer the way that they have been subjected to such nastiness from someone who is supposed to love them unconditionally (regardless of the fact he hates my guts – I appreciate I am 50% DNA of the kids and I think that may be the issue). If they turn round and refuse to go once the youngest is 16, can I force them? Can I physically drag them to contact? My eldest son is a strapping lad now and this may prove difficult. If I get taken back to court if they refuse, will the court listen to the kids as they will be 16 and 17? I am worrying now that after all these years of being compliant and supportive, I may get jailed.

User article | breach, legal rights, contact

“Ex partner is breaching contact order”

My ex partner is stopping me from seeing kids there is a contact order in place and I still have parental rights. I can't afford to go back to court, what can I do?

User article | breach, legal rights

Comments 0