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"Am I not satisfying him sexually?"

Ok, this is going to be long. I have been dating a man for right at a year and I absolutely love him. He’s considerate and funny and goodlooking. We live together and sex in the beginning of any relationship is usually pretty hot. So it’s slowed down and I understand that happens when the newness wears off. But he has issues with ED and has since we first met. I cant tell you how difficult it is to not blame myself because lately it’s really hard to get him to finish. Since the pandemic, I have gained some weight and I have psoriasis and it covers me...very unattractive.

We talked about sex openly in the beginning and he asked if porn bothered me, to which I said only if it replaces me. Wellll, we had sex the other night and he surprisingly had no problem at all. The next morning I walk upstairs to get something out of the bathroom and he had been up for about an hour and had the door open. When i walked by i asked him a question and he didnt answer and I look and he’s beating off to what I assume was porn on his phone. He had the tv turned up and he didnt hear me. I went into the bathroom and shut the door and he heard that because i heard him scramble out of bed. With my recent insecurities and difficult sex life, it hurt my feelings. I wasnt enough? See when we talked about porn in the past, I asked him if he’d ever watched it with a significant other to which he looked at me like I was crazy....and I thought well that’s out of the question (and he is not vanilla, AT ALL. The man is freaky, so why not watch porn together...)

Anyway. Im left feeling like he isnt satisfied with me sexually and that im just a comfortable companion who can cook good. It wont last if I have to keep feeling this way. I hate myself.

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