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I was caught texting an old flame

Me (25M) and gf (24F). I need help and recommendations.

Am in a 4-year relationship with my GF. Was caught texting an old flame for the last 6 months (around 10 convos). At times it was flirty and I said intimate names. But I never meant it. I was saying it to say it and going thru the motions of it. I don't have any feelings for anyone but my GF. I know I wasn't thinking about how it would affect her and just liked the attention. But it was purely for the attention. I would have never "done" anything.

The last few months have been going incredibly well and now she feels that it wasn't real because this was going on in the background. And I can see where she is coming from but at the same time the ex thing felt so inconsequential to me and my life and I feel everything good in our relationship was cuz me and my gf worked on it together not cuz I had this other girl on the side. How do I show with actions that I do love her and want to fix it? I have cut all contact. Before I did, my ex even sent a message for my gf saying that she always made contact first and that she knew there was no meaning what I saying and so on.

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