So me and my partner where together for 4 years, we had our first child not even a year into our relationship and we quickly ended up moving in with each other not long after the birth.. we were quite on and off in terms of arguments over petty things which in my opinion just stemmed from us moving pretty quick from dating to having a baby everything just happened so quickly.. anyway I started to get trust issues from seeing him liking things I find to be quite sneaky and searching girls he’d known beforehand. altogether he only ever had one other relationship before me which lasted the same amount of time 4 years roughly and he’d cheated on that relationship twice (kissed) and also spoke to another girl during that one .
He moved on with me not long after his first breakup around a month which I did not know at the time.. around 3 years into our relationship he got a new job and I ended up having a strange feeling about him and another girl he worked with and behold my gut was right he started speaking to her behind my back.. he said he done that because we don’t have much in common and they had lots in common with each other so they just clicked nothing more happened than speaking over text for a short while which lead to a breakup and obviously me being lied to as to why we broke up because he didn’t admit it right away. I knew all along got told I was crazy etc.. he finally did admit it and came back home and I think at that point just knowing the partner you love clicked more with someone else when they’re meant to be all for you just broke me and it still does now thinking about it.
Anyway we had another child about a month after he came back home. During my pregnancy I became very distant with him and showed no emotion and no affection and I have no idea why and I think 9 months of that drained him and his feelings became distant, 4 months after the birth of our second he became somewhat depressed and has really bad anger. He called things off about 2 weeks ago. I just feel absolutely heartbroken because even tho everything that happened I do believe he’s the one and I just don’t understand as he says the reason for leaving is he is just not happy anymore and has no emotion towards me and he thinks his depression doesn’t help but he’s so certain he wants to be on his own.
I still have so much hope that he’ll reconsider and I feel like because I have that hope I’m finding it hard to accept the fact he’s left me. He still currently lives at home with us for the time being to help me out with the kids as I struggle a bit managing them both especially during the breakup. He stays in another room and the kids sleep with me at the moment. I just want him back so much and I understand he’s not in a good place mentally at the moment and I’m scared of him moving on to quickly when I do eventually leave the home as I’m holding onto that hope that will be together as a family, I just don’t know how to get through this at all. I’m so scared of him moving on because I feel like he will as he found me pretty quickly and he said he’s not ruling anything out in the future I’ll terms of us but I just hate the thought of him finding someone else especially when we have kids it just doesn’t feel right.