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"Idk what to do?!"

Hey my name is E, I’m 18 and I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 3 years , we’ve had a lot of ups and downs and we’ve been through a lot of hard stuff together however he has a tendency to receive images from other girls recently, his has happened more than one and he knows how much it’s hurt me when these things have happened , we don’t have sex very often due to various issues within my body that leave me in pain and tired and he seems to hold this against me and illudes that this may be why he has to cheat , I’ve always just kind of let him do this and stayed with him .

I’ve recently met another boy and we haven’t known each other for long but I am starting to absolutely fall for him and he likes me a lot as well , we FaceTime and talk a lot , he works where I do so I wouldn’t be able to cut him off , I know it’s my fault and I shouldn’t have got so close to someone else whilst I have a boyfriend. This boy did like my friend previously and they were speaking for about a week .

Deep down I think I want to be with this new boy but there’s so many factors stopping me , I don’t want to upset my friend and mostly I don’t know if I want to break up with my current boyfriend or not , I’m not happy but I don’t think I could possibly break up with him because I’m just so used to being with him and I really don’t want to hurt him because he has made me happy , I don’t even know what I’d say to him , I know my parents and his parents would be so annoyed with me for breaking up with him . Am I an awful person ? I really don’t know what to do please please help .

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