I have been with my boyfriend almost 2 years. Everything is perfect, he loves me, cares about me, shows me affection, does everything without me having to ask him. Our sex life was amazing at the beginning. We used to have sex almost 3-4 times in a day. But recently he hasn't been interested anymore. I know he's not cheating on me.
Whenever I try to approach him for sex, he mostly denies it, I've tried everything. He tells me he's tired and doesn't have the energy but he watches porn and masturbates right beside me, after masturbating he comes to me to cuddle, gives me kisses and tells me that he loves me, but whenever he masturbates, I feel like shit, I just end up crying feeling bad feeling like shit about myself, like I'm not enough. I watch porn too, but I don't know why I feel bad when he does it. Ik he loves me, he loves me a lot. It's not like he's got a low libido.
I have tried to talk to him about it, he always gets mad when I bring it up, he says that it makes him feel like he's not man enough, it makes him insecure but it also makes me insecure. It's ruining my mental health, sometimes I don't even wanna meet him, cause at night, he'll just masturbate. I can't get over this.
Sometimes I wish he just couldn't get it hard, than at least I'd feel better about our sex life. He gets excited when I tell him I will try anal sex, he's ready and tries to do it, but when it's just normal sex, he's not into it. I miss how he was so into me, and sometimes when we do have sex, it's mostly me trying to seduce him, give him a blowjob, cowgirl and him fucking me from side. I don't wanna break up with him, I love him a lot, I just want to accept the changes in our relationship. I just want to stop approaching him for sex or feeling bad about it, he knows how I feel. I just want to be other this part of our relationship and just be happy with our relationship.